Yeah, to both of my faithful readers, I've moved AOwL.com to a new location. It's been moved from the free realm of Blogger to the other free realm of MSN Spaces. You can now find AOwL.com at http://spaces.msn.com/members/aowl/.
December 27, 2004
December 18, 2004
Bye-Bye VC
Well, underneath the radar of the Major League Baseball Hot Stove, Vince Carter finally got his wish to leave Toronto and is headed to the Jersey swamplands to play with J-Kidd and the Nets. This winter is not going to be pretty for my adpoted hometown up in the Great White North. Vince making a break for the bright lights of Asbury Park, Carlos Delgado looking to leave the Blue Jays for a job south of the border, and not a Maple Leafs game in sight any time soon. Hey, you've always got that indoor lacrosse team the Toronto Rock to look forward to.
But, I hope that Vince does well out in Jersey. As a fellow hometown boy from Daytona Beach (I used to know Vince's brother through a mutual friend, and my aunt was his banker), Vince has done much for the community. A matter of fact, he footed the bill for a new athletic complex at his alma-mater Mainland High School. So, he's a good guy, even though it was evident that he wasn't playing at the same level this year as he has in the last few.
A Note of Thanks to DirecTV
Man, that was close. At the beginning of the current basketball season, it was announced that the Orlando Magic had signed a deal with local Tampa Bay station WXPX, our local PAX affiliate. Two seasons ago, our local baseball team the Tampa Bay Devil Rays signed a similar agreement to air on PAX. However, DirecTV didn't carry our local affiliate as they provided the national feed to the network (and who wants to watch that?). I had written to them twice about picking it up, but to no avail.
I switched to DirecTV when our local cable conglomerate BrightHouse Networks dropped the cable provider of the Orlando Magic, the Sunshine Network, in a contract dispute. I'm a man who needs to see my Magic! Not being able to see half the D-Rays games for a couple seasons... Sucks, but I can get over it. But not the Magic. So, I was pricing the switch back to cable this week planning to go through with it after the holidays (the BrightHouse/Sunshine dispute was resolved last year) when, last night, I was flipping channels and noticed "Hey, we get channel 66 now!" So, my love affair with DirecTV continues meaning that I get to keep dating the hottest chick in school instead of having to go with the backup plan of the ugly girl who'll put out.
And DirecTV/D-Rays fans here in the Tampa Bay area, you may send me your thanks and praise for getting us those games in care of AOwL.com. Now, since CNNfn shut down this week, lets see if we can get them to switch it for the Anime Network!
Some Love for Maxim Radio
Starting this week, Sirius Radio started the gradual rollout of their newest station Maxim Radio. The station is a joint venture between Sirius and Maxim Magazine. And so far, even just being on the air for about seven hours a day, it has become my favorite station on the service. Pretty much, just like the magazine, it's strategically aimed at guys. The station provides a great mix of popular music, inane DJ banter, comedy sketches, and more. I won't give it my full endorsement until I get a chance to hear the full schedule (the channel is supposed to go on the air full-time the week of the Super Bowl), but so far it's worth a listen if you're on the service.
But, I hope that Vince does well out in Jersey. As a fellow hometown boy from Daytona Beach (I used to know Vince's brother through a mutual friend, and my aunt was his banker), Vince has done much for the community. A matter of fact, he footed the bill for a new athletic complex at his alma-mater Mainland High School. So, he's a good guy, even though it was evident that he wasn't playing at the same level this year as he has in the last few.
A Note of Thanks to DirecTV
Man, that was close. At the beginning of the current basketball season, it was announced that the Orlando Magic had signed a deal with local Tampa Bay station WXPX, our local PAX affiliate. Two seasons ago, our local baseball team the Tampa Bay Devil Rays signed a similar agreement to air on PAX. However, DirecTV didn't carry our local affiliate as they provided the national feed to the network (and who wants to watch that?). I had written to them twice about picking it up, but to no avail.
I switched to DirecTV when our local cable conglomerate BrightHouse Networks dropped the cable provider of the Orlando Magic, the Sunshine Network, in a contract dispute. I'm a man who needs to see my Magic! Not being able to see half the D-Rays games for a couple seasons... Sucks, but I can get over it. But not the Magic. So, I was pricing the switch back to cable this week planning to go through with it after the holidays (the BrightHouse/Sunshine dispute was resolved last year) when, last night, I was flipping channels and noticed "Hey, we get channel 66 now!" So, my love affair with DirecTV continues meaning that I get to keep dating the hottest chick in school instead of having to go with the backup plan of the ugly girl who'll put out.
And DirecTV/D-Rays fans here in the Tampa Bay area, you may send me your thanks and praise for getting us those games in care of AOwL.com. Now, since CNNfn shut down this week, lets see if we can get them to switch it for the Anime Network!
Some Love for Maxim Radio
Starting this week, Sirius Radio started the gradual rollout of their newest station Maxim Radio. The station is a joint venture between Sirius and Maxim Magazine. And so far, even just being on the air for about seven hours a day, it has become my favorite station on the service. Pretty much, just like the magazine, it's strategically aimed at guys. The station provides a great mix of popular music, inane DJ banter, comedy sketches, and more. I won't give it my full endorsement until I get a chance to hear the full schedule (the channel is supposed to go on the air full-time the week of the Super Bowl), but so far it's worth a listen if you're on the service.
December 17, 2004
The Last Blog of 2004
And not a moment too soon, I tells ya! Nah, just kidding, but I wish I had a job like some of the DJs I've been listening to so far this morning. It sounds like everybody in the world gets the last two weeks of the year off but me. That's pretty plush.
More of What I Do Best... Watch TV
Well, it's fair to say that I am always willing to forgive those of their mistakes. For minor transgressions, I can find it in my heart to give you a second chance. That's why, last night, I fired up the Tivo to watch the SpikeTV 2004 Video Game Awards. As I mentioned in a posting from November 8th, the 2003 edition of the VGAs was probably the most nonsensical undertaking in modern television history. Nobody really knew what was going on, and the awards were secondary to all the other lame events they had set up.
Which brings us to this year's festivities, which got off to a similar start. The show was kicked off with a cute skit between Snoop Dogg and Tiger Woods, and then devolved into a 10 minute long shameless plug for the game Def Jam: Fight For NY, a wrestling game featuring several rap stars. What I thought was just going to be a quick song by rapper Ludacris turned into some hip-hop West Side Story with dancing street thugs duking it out in the audience. I was just waiting for DMX to come out singing "I Feel Pretty (the Puff Daddy Remix ft. Little John)"
DMX: "I feel prettyyyy..."
Little John: "Oookkayyyyyy!!!"
DMX: "Oh so prettyyyy..."
Puff Daddy: "Uh-huh, yeah."
DMX: "I feel pretty, and witty, and gayyyy."
Little John: "WHAT?!?!?!"
Sorry, I loved that joke while I was thinking it up. This year's edition was at least easier for viewers to follow. The traditional awards show format of a presenter coming out and announcing the nominees prior to the winners (except for certain categories which got the "Before the Show" type awards) at least let people understand what was being awarded unlike last year's "ambush" awarding where even the people who won weren't expecting it.
But, this still was pretty bad. Snoop as the host... Well he doesn't do too well in scripted comedy. When he was the guest host on Jimmy Kimmel Live last year, his best moments were sitting on the couch ripping on the guests. When they tried to use him in a sketch, it was just abysmal (except for the Snoop Garage Sale, which was classic). The presenters looked as if they were unexectedly thrust on stage to read inane banter from a cue card. The people who won the awards didn't seem to know where or when they were supposed to get up to accept their monkey trophies. Unlike last year, which was a full-on Amtrak style train wreck, this show was just a slight derailment.
One thing I have to say, maybe for next year, is that maybe let a game gain a foothold before you nominate it for an award that's supposed to cover the previous year. Out of the five "Game of the Year" nominees; Halo 2, Half-Life 2, and Metal Gear Solid 3 had come out just last month. Two of those hadn't even been released when they announced the nominations, and Halo 2 had only been out for a couple of days. Just a thought.
Grand Owl: BMOC
The other show I watched last night (as I said, I'm usually about a day behind when it comes to TV), was the Wednesday night premier of the new WB reality show BMOC - Big Man on Campus. Boy, oh boy... As a guy who used to frequent the University of Central Florida campus in Orlando to go use their library while I attended a nearby community college, I can definitely tell you that the university is not exactly Babe Central (for that, you have to check out the preppy private school hunnies over at Rollins College). But, no offense ladies, but couldn't they have found at least ONE! UCF is the third largest university in the state with nearly 40,000 students, and while none are ugly, there's none that are great. But who am I to complain?
The premise is a college version of The Bachelor, and this initial episode followed that of its sister series as the ladies scoured the campus for their knight in shining armor. Of course, they have to go with the OVERLY dramatic when, while preparing for a house party, one girl accidently cuts another with a kitchen knife. So, they show the paramedics coming in for a cut that only appeared to be about an inch or so while the girl who did it is sobbing in the bathroom! The other girls in the house make it sound like she tried to carve her up Norman Bates-style. I got worse scrapes from falling off my big wheel (yes, it is possible).
The show will probably hold my attention for at least this season, as I love watching shows or movies from Orlando so I can play "I Spy" with local landmarks (I sat through "Earnest Saves Christmas" a couple of weeks ago simply because so many scenes were shot at the old Orlando Science Center). One last comment I've gotta make, of the final six candidates for BMOC, three of them were marketing majors because... lets face it... marketing majors are HOT!!!
More of What I Do Best... Watch TV
Well, it's fair to say that I am always willing to forgive those of their mistakes. For minor transgressions, I can find it in my heart to give you a second chance. That's why, last night, I fired up the Tivo to watch the SpikeTV 2004 Video Game Awards. As I mentioned in a posting from November 8th, the 2003 edition of the VGAs was probably the most nonsensical undertaking in modern television history. Nobody really knew what was going on, and the awards were secondary to all the other lame events they had set up.
Which brings us to this year's festivities, which got off to a similar start. The show was kicked off with a cute skit between Snoop Dogg and Tiger Woods, and then devolved into a 10 minute long shameless plug for the game Def Jam: Fight For NY, a wrestling game featuring several rap stars. What I thought was just going to be a quick song by rapper Ludacris turned into some hip-hop West Side Story with dancing street thugs duking it out in the audience. I was just waiting for DMX to come out singing "I Feel Pretty (the Puff Daddy Remix ft. Little John)"
DMX: "I feel prettyyyy..."
Little John: "Oookkayyyyyy!!!"
DMX: "Oh so prettyyyy..."
Puff Daddy: "Uh-huh, yeah."
DMX: "I feel pretty, and witty, and gayyyy."
Little John: "WHAT?!?!?!"
Sorry, I loved that joke while I was thinking it up. This year's edition was at least easier for viewers to follow. The traditional awards show format of a presenter coming out and announcing the nominees prior to the winners (except for certain categories which got the "Before the Show" type awards) at least let people understand what was being awarded unlike last year's "ambush" awarding where even the people who won weren't expecting it.
But, this still was pretty bad. Snoop as the host... Well he doesn't do too well in scripted comedy. When he was the guest host on Jimmy Kimmel Live last year, his best moments were sitting on the couch ripping on the guests. When they tried to use him in a sketch, it was just abysmal (except for the Snoop Garage Sale, which was classic). The presenters looked as if they were unexectedly thrust on stage to read inane banter from a cue card. The people who won the awards didn't seem to know where or when they were supposed to get up to accept their monkey trophies. Unlike last year, which was a full-on Amtrak style train wreck, this show was just a slight derailment.
One thing I have to say, maybe for next year, is that maybe let a game gain a foothold before you nominate it for an award that's supposed to cover the previous year. Out of the five "Game of the Year" nominees; Halo 2, Half-Life 2, and Metal Gear Solid 3 had come out just last month. Two of those hadn't even been released when they announced the nominations, and Halo 2 had only been out for a couple of days. Just a thought.
Grand Owl: BMOC
The other show I watched last night (as I said, I'm usually about a day behind when it comes to TV), was the Wednesday night premier of the new WB reality show BMOC - Big Man on Campus. Boy, oh boy... As a guy who used to frequent the University of Central Florida campus in Orlando to go use their library while I attended a nearby community college, I can definitely tell you that the university is not exactly Babe Central (for that, you have to check out the preppy private school hunnies over at Rollins College). But, no offense ladies, but couldn't they have found at least ONE! UCF is the third largest university in the state with nearly 40,000 students, and while none are ugly, there's none that are great. But who am I to complain?
The premise is a college version of The Bachelor, and this initial episode followed that of its sister series as the ladies scoured the campus for their knight in shining armor. Of course, they have to go with the OVERLY dramatic when, while preparing for a house party, one girl accidently cuts another with a kitchen knife. So, they show the paramedics coming in for a cut that only appeared to be about an inch or so while the girl who did it is sobbing in the bathroom! The other girls in the house make it sound like she tried to carve her up Norman Bates-style. I got worse scrapes from falling off my big wheel (yes, it is possible).
The show will probably hold my attention for at least this season, as I love watching shows or movies from Orlando so I can play "I Spy" with local landmarks (I sat through "Earnest Saves Christmas" a couple of weeks ago simply because so many scenes were shot at the old Orlando Science Center). One last comment I've gotta make, of the final six candidates for BMOC, three of them were marketing majors because... lets face it... marketing majors are HOT!!!
December 15, 2004
As the World Spins Outta Control
Hello all! Finally, we're getting a little Winterlike weather here in the Sunshine State. Woke up this morning to a beautiful 38-degree day. As usual here in Florida, whenever the temperature drops below 40 it's the lead story on the local news. Reporters are camped out at local gardens, farms, and nursuries showing how they're going to deal with the chilly temperatures. I think, at least I hope, that even the average Floridian knows how to take care of their plants when it gets cold, and that it's probably not a good idea to leave Fido outside overnight. Maybe that's just having too much confidence in general common sense.
TV is Great!
Well, I had just a hugely-cheesy weekend this weekend, and what better way to heap huge helpings of cheese then watching made-for-cable movies. Sunday, with the Bucs playing in the afternoon and the Bears game not on TV, I settled in to two basic cable movies off of the Tivo: ESPN's Dale Earnhardt biopic "3" and the TNT action-adventure spoof "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear."
"3", like most biopics, chooses to combine huge moments in a public figure's life to save time. Thus, things seem to happen too conveniently to be real. As in one scene where Dale meets future wife Teresa on the same day as his first Winston Cup race which is also the same day that he meets who would become his future boss. In another, the infamous black 3 car is revealed in a press conference where Dale reunites with his estranged son. But, for the most part, ESPN does a good job with their biopics. I had no clue that Bear Bryant even coached at Texas A&M when I watched their take on "The Junction Boys" and the Pete Rose take in "Hustle" was entertaining, even if both suffer from the same faults. The acting, though, was incredible. Barry Pepper had Earnhardt's look and mannerisms down. Chad McCumbee as Dale Jr. and Greg Thompson as Darrell Waltrip were also incredible in their portrayals, nearly identical to the real-life people they were playing. While the ending, with Dale rising to heaven to meet his deceased father outside a textile mill was WAY over the top, I think the image of the final lap of the Daytona 500, with the FOX Sports commentary was the most poignant as you hear the voice of long-time rival Darrell Waltrip, whose brother just won his first NASCAR race in the sport's biggest event, is desperate for a sign that Dale's OK. I'd also like to point out, as a Darrell Waltrip fan when he was a racer, that Darrell has put up an excellent response to the movie on his website AllWaltrip.com. Yes people, I'm a NASCAR fan. Sorry to disappoint, but I grew up in Daytona Beach where it's pretty much mandatory.
On the flip-side from the unintentional cheese of "3" was the farcical TNT movie "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear". Pretty much, The Librarian is a spoof of the Indiana Jones series, with Noah Wyle playing the lead as a bumbling bookworm who's appointed to the task of protecting some of the world's greatest treasures. The movie's low on production values, a script filled with lame jokes, and REALLY bad acting, and yet it still is OK because you know that nobody's taking this seriously. Of course, it was also helped by Kelly Hu looking hot and falling for the nerdy Noah. The best scene, by far, is a fight scene between an evil group called the Serpent Brotherhood and BOB NEWHART! Honestly, this is a movie to watch if your bored with friends and want to do your own Mystery Science Theater 3000, but to a movie that gets the joke as well.
Some other great stuff on TV recently is the CourtTV/Sundance Channel short-series "The First Amendment Project", which are special features documenting court cases challenging the rights of Americans to the First Amendment; Bravo's history of Christmas specials creatively titled "The Christmas Special Christmas Special", and... Well this show deserves it's own topic...
The Return of High School Reunion
One of the funniest/saddest shows in the realm of reality TV made its return last week, and I couldn't be happier. It's the WB series "High School Reunion" where they take members of a graduating high school class and hold their 10-year reunion over a week in a Hawaiian mansion. This show is a human car wreck, and I'm just a happy rubbernecker driving by. First off, I can hardly remember more than ten people from my high school days. There was my group of friends; Aaron, Mike, Rob, Brian, Shaun, and Paul; and there was the girl I had a crush on Kelly. That's about it. These people not only remember each other, they have long standing grudges over miniscule events that occurred over a decade ago! I can't remember stuff I did ten days ago, let alone some guy who wants to kick my ass because I cut in front of him in the lunchline my sophomore year in high school.
Another great element of "High School Reunion" is how they give these people these tags like "The Jock", "The Cheerleader", "The Class Clown", like they're still exactly like they were ten years ago. Then, they totally live up to it. I guess it's true that we don't change as much as we think we do. This year's breakout star is Jamie "The Obsessed Ex", who is stalking her ex Gianni "The Basketball Star". As the story goes, Jamie and Gianni were a high school item, pretty much to the chagrin of Gianni himself. He couldn't talk with another member of the fairer sex without going psychotic, apparently cracking his windshield when she spotted him talking with another girl. While in high school, Gianni was enchanted with another member of his class "The Dream Girl" Loretta, but never had the opportunity to ask her out. Last night, Gianni got his "dream date" with Loretta and they had a little sleepover. Of course, they hook you in before a commercial break with Jamie tearing the house apart looking for them the following morning. Just great drama/unintentional comedy.
Random Thoughts
TV is Great!
Well, I had just a hugely-cheesy weekend this weekend, and what better way to heap huge helpings of cheese then watching made-for-cable movies. Sunday, with the Bucs playing in the afternoon and the Bears game not on TV, I settled in to two basic cable movies off of the Tivo: ESPN's Dale Earnhardt biopic "3" and the TNT action-adventure spoof "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear."
"3", like most biopics, chooses to combine huge moments in a public figure's life to save time. Thus, things seem to happen too conveniently to be real. As in one scene where Dale meets future wife Teresa on the same day as his first Winston Cup race which is also the same day that he meets who would become his future boss. In another, the infamous black 3 car is revealed in a press conference where Dale reunites with his estranged son. But, for the most part, ESPN does a good job with their biopics. I had no clue that Bear Bryant even coached at Texas A&M when I watched their take on "The Junction Boys" and the Pete Rose take in "Hustle" was entertaining, even if both suffer from the same faults. The acting, though, was incredible. Barry Pepper had Earnhardt's look and mannerisms down. Chad McCumbee as Dale Jr. and Greg Thompson as Darrell Waltrip were also incredible in their portrayals, nearly identical to the real-life people they were playing. While the ending, with Dale rising to heaven to meet his deceased father outside a textile mill was WAY over the top, I think the image of the final lap of the Daytona 500, with the FOX Sports commentary was the most poignant as you hear the voice of long-time rival Darrell Waltrip, whose brother just won his first NASCAR race in the sport's biggest event, is desperate for a sign that Dale's OK. I'd also like to point out, as a Darrell Waltrip fan when he was a racer, that Darrell has put up an excellent response to the movie on his website AllWaltrip.com. Yes people, I'm a NASCAR fan. Sorry to disappoint, but I grew up in Daytona Beach where it's pretty much mandatory.
On the flip-side from the unintentional cheese of "3" was the farcical TNT movie "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear". Pretty much, The Librarian is a spoof of the Indiana Jones series, with Noah Wyle playing the lead as a bumbling bookworm who's appointed to the task of protecting some of the world's greatest treasures. The movie's low on production values, a script filled with lame jokes, and REALLY bad acting, and yet it still is OK because you know that nobody's taking this seriously. Of course, it was also helped by Kelly Hu looking hot and falling for the nerdy Noah. The best scene, by far, is a fight scene between an evil group called the Serpent Brotherhood and BOB NEWHART! Honestly, this is a movie to watch if your bored with friends and want to do your own Mystery Science Theater 3000, but to a movie that gets the joke as well.
Some other great stuff on TV recently is the CourtTV/Sundance Channel short-series "The First Amendment Project", which are special features documenting court cases challenging the rights of Americans to the First Amendment; Bravo's history of Christmas specials creatively titled "The Christmas Special Christmas Special", and... Well this show deserves it's own topic...
The Return of High School Reunion
One of the funniest/saddest shows in the realm of reality TV made its return last week, and I couldn't be happier. It's the WB series "High School Reunion" where they take members of a graduating high school class and hold their 10-year reunion over a week in a Hawaiian mansion. This show is a human car wreck, and I'm just a happy rubbernecker driving by. First off, I can hardly remember more than ten people from my high school days. There was my group of friends; Aaron, Mike, Rob, Brian, Shaun, and Paul; and there was the girl I had a crush on Kelly. That's about it. These people not only remember each other, they have long standing grudges over miniscule events that occurred over a decade ago! I can't remember stuff I did ten days ago, let alone some guy who wants to kick my ass because I cut in front of him in the lunchline my sophomore year in high school.
Another great element of "High School Reunion" is how they give these people these tags like "The Jock", "The Cheerleader", "The Class Clown", like they're still exactly like they were ten years ago. Then, they totally live up to it. I guess it's true that we don't change as much as we think we do. This year's breakout star is Jamie "The Obsessed Ex", who is stalking her ex Gianni "The Basketball Star". As the story goes, Jamie and Gianni were a high school item, pretty much to the chagrin of Gianni himself. He couldn't talk with another member of the fairer sex without going psychotic, apparently cracking his windshield when she spotted him talking with another girl. While in high school, Gianni was enchanted with another member of his class "The Dream Girl" Loretta, but never had the opportunity to ask her out. Last night, Gianni got his "dream date" with Loretta and they had a little sleepover. Of course, they hook you in before a commercial break with Jamie tearing the house apart looking for them the following morning. Just great drama/unintentional comedy.
Random Thoughts
- We're going with another twofer to make up for the Women I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy, but not because they're underage. More because I've been too lazy to even write the dumb column. But these two beauties would definitely be worthy of my stalking resources should I ever be motivated to use them and would make a great combination. This week's "lucky" ladies are the CNN Headline News duo of morning anchor Robin Meade and evening anchor Sophia Choi. Both are incredibly beautiful, smart (or at least play it well on TV), and funny. So, as usual, if you ladies want to save me the effort of attempting to stalk you, feel free to write me in care of AOwL.com.
- While flipping channels last night, I came across the New Orleans Bowl on ESPN between North Texas and Southern Mississippi. The game was such an attractive draw that it appeared that the upper two levels of the Superdome were closed off and that there were still plenty of tickets available in the lower levels if you wanted to go. Of course, nobody cared much for the game, so the five minutes I spent watching were used by the commentators to draw up their dream college football playoff scenario. That got me to thinking (which, as you know, hurts my head), it's because people watch meaningless matchups like this that we're never going to get a meaningful playoff. Hell, I don't think the average football fan could locate the campuses of either school on a map (and some probably wouldn't even get the state right). But because people are willing to watch them on TV or travel to attend games, networks will keep on shelling out cash and cities will continue jockeying to start their own. So, there needs to be a fan strike! People, these games are the football equivalent of the basketball NIT Tournament, there's no point! So don't watch. If your team's in a bowl game, so what?! I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to see my Noles play West Virginia in the Gator Bowl. If people aren't willing to shell out cash to attend or even to bother watching on TV, the bowls will have less money to spend to attract teams. If college presidents see their cash cow headed for the slaughterhouse, they'll probably be more willing to turn to the Golden Goose of having a high profile home game with ticket revenues partially split with their opponents. A playoff will definitely attract the interest of networks who will shell out plenty to get exclusive coverage (CBS is paying the NCAA $6 billion for coverage of the men's basketball tournament). So, college football fans, make your New Year's Resolution early... DON'T WATCH BOWL GAMES! This has been a paid message provided by AOwL.com.
December 08, 2004
Hey Howdy, Buckaroo!
Boy, you have to be an old-schooler from Orlando to get that reference. If not, that was the intro from the now defunct Ranger Bob Cartoon Show on TV-63 back in the late-80s. It's kind of sad, because now the kids get the Cowboy Bob & Buster Show on local TV. What makes that sad are that "Cowboy Bob & Buster" are cartoon spokesman for a local group of car dealerships. Indoctrinate them while they're young I guess.
Are You In the Christmas Spirit Yet???
Wow, so far here in the Sunshine State we've had a whopping ONE DAY of semi-cool weather. Hopefully, the weatherman is saying that another cold front will be coming through the area tomorrow and cooler temperatures will come back over the weekend. But this is Florida, where cooler temperatures means highs in the low-60s. Brrrr....
But it's time for my favorite thing about Christmas... I'm talking, of course, about absurd car ads that make it seem like common practice that people buy $40,000 luxury automobiles as gifts for each other. There was a great little segment in this week's *tbt (that's the Tampa Bay Times for you unhip readers out there). But really, if there's any incredibly hot women out there who normally buy their boyfriends BMWs as Christmas presents, please send a picture and what you're willing to buy me in care of AOwL.com.
But I'm just a big kid at heart, so my favorite part of the season is watching the old Christmas specials of my childhood. With my Tivo player, I've been able to get most of them but I've noticed something. The Christmas specials that usually would air over a week or so are now just repeating endlessly on several stations. The classic Grinch will be airing on the WB, the Cartoon Network, and TBS. I mean, I love it but it's becoming over-saturated.
Are You In the Christmas Spirit Yet???
Wow, so far here in the Sunshine State we've had a whopping ONE DAY of semi-cool weather. Hopefully, the weatherman is saying that another cold front will be coming through the area tomorrow and cooler temperatures will come back over the weekend. But this is Florida, where cooler temperatures means highs in the low-60s. Brrrr....
But it's time for my favorite thing about Christmas... I'm talking, of course, about absurd car ads that make it seem like common practice that people buy $40,000 luxury automobiles as gifts for each other. There was a great little segment in this week's *tbt (that's the Tampa Bay Times for you unhip readers out there). But really, if there's any incredibly hot women out there who normally buy their boyfriends BMWs as Christmas presents, please send a picture and what you're willing to buy me in care of AOwL.com.
But I'm just a big kid at heart, so my favorite part of the season is watching the old Christmas specials of my childhood. With my Tivo player, I've been able to get most of them but I've noticed something. The Christmas specials that usually would air over a week or so are now just repeating endlessly on several stations. The classic Grinch will be airing on the WB, the Cartoon Network, and TBS. I mean, I love it but it's becoming over-saturated.
December 06, 2004
"With Your 'T' Formation"
Man, I'm running out of lines to the Bears fight song to quote for the Monday following a Bears victory. I have to say that I feel like a traitor. I was listening to the Sirius NFL Radio channel yesterday morning while doing some errands, when one of their experts announced that his upset pick was the Bears over the Vikings. Of course, after doing my general Bears rant whenever someone says anything good about them, I started laughing at how dumb a pick that was. I mean, the Bears were starting the umpteenth quarterback this year, and are one more injury away from the return of Jeff George. The Vikes are needing a win to stay up with Green Bay for the division. But hey, a win's a win, and I'm psyched for Chad Hutchinson. Unlike the recent games of Craig Krenzel, Chad actually lead the offense to some scores other than leaving that to the defense.
Movie Review
National Treasure
**** (out of five stars)
As usual, I'm always running a little behind when it comes to anything. So, this weekend I finally took in the Nick Cage action movie, National Treasure. The film pretty much takes advantage of the DaVinci Code phenomenon by putting a patriotic twist to the story of the Knights Templar. Here's one thing that I don't get... The first twenty minutes of the movie is spent trying to find the clue that leads to a mythical treasure map and them trying to decipher where the map is. Anyone who has seen any commercial for the film knows that it's supposedly on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Just seems like time wasted.
Pretty much, if you've ever seen any other Nicholas Cage/Jerry Bruckheimer collaboration, you pretty much know how the storyline's going to go. Unfortunately, it lacks the action of a planeful of convicts, a chemical warhead on Alcatraz, or switching faces with John Travolta. But, if you go in just expecting a mindless action movie, you can enjoy the typical car chase, showdowns, and all the other typical action movie scenes.
Movie Review
National Treasure
**** (out of five stars)
As usual, I'm always running a little behind when it comes to anything. So, this weekend I finally took in the Nick Cage action movie, National Treasure. The film pretty much takes advantage of the DaVinci Code phenomenon by putting a patriotic twist to the story of the Knights Templar. Here's one thing that I don't get... The first twenty minutes of the movie is spent trying to find the clue that leads to a mythical treasure map and them trying to decipher where the map is. Anyone who has seen any commercial for the film knows that it's supposedly on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Just seems like time wasted.
Pretty much, if you've ever seen any other Nicholas Cage/Jerry Bruckheimer collaboration, you pretty much know how the storyline's going to go. Unfortunately, it lacks the action of a planeful of convicts, a chemical warhead on Alcatraz, or switching faces with John Travolta. But, if you go in just expecting a mindless action movie, you can enjoy the typical car chase, showdowns, and all the other typical action movie scenes.
December 04, 2004
Radio, "Sirius"-ly
Well, for one of my Christmas presents (I love this new tradition for me over the last couple of years where I get my Christmas presents on Thanksgiving), I got the Sirius satellite radio system. It's funny, because the main reason that I wanted it was to get the Howard Stern Show when he moves over to Sirius in January 2006. Not only did I get a year jump on Howard, but I don't really even listen to him that much to begin with. I may watch his show occassionally on E! if I'm up that late. My commute is only about five to ten minutes in the morning, so I can often go my entire drive during one of his commercial breaks (which happens at least once a week), and the local radio station that he comes on here doesn't come in at my desk in my office.
But, I just got to say how incredible having satellite radio is! I really just wanted it to listen to in my office since the electrical interference by all of the computers there blocks out most radio stations, leaving just the all-'80s and the classic rock stations. Sirius comes in great, and I really don't sit near a window. In addition, there's just so much choice. I'm not the type of person who flips channels, but if there's a song on one radio station that I don't like I can just sit on a channel guide section that Sirius offers to see if there's one that I like on another station. In addition, Sirius has exclusive contracts with the NBA, NFL, and NHL (not that it really matters right now) to broadcast all games. I was able to tune in to the Magic/Knicks game that didn't air locally here in the Tampa Bay area. With the NFL, in addition to a full-time channel dedicated to NFL coverage, they also air the local broadcast of each game. So, if you live say... In Tampa Bay... And want to hear the Bears broadcast from Chicago, it's no problem. They have music from just about every genre, talk stations about pretty much anything, news broadcasts from CNN, CNBC, Fox News, the Weather Channel, and more. If you live in a major metropolitan area, you can even get your local weather and traffic reports every four minutes.
I guess, as you can see, I highly recommend it. I, personally, chose Sirius. XM is just as good, with their recent contract with Major League Baseball to air all of their games and contracts with some collegiate conferences including the ACC for sports content.
If you're fed up with the FCC yanking anything that may possibly entertain you on radio, make it as generic and lame as network television, satellite radio is really going to be your only outlet. But it is a great alternative, and if you're really into music, totally worth the extra $10-$13/month.
By the way, to people at Sirius, I just plugged you big time to both of the people who read my blog. So feel free to kick some free stuff my way, in care of AOwL.com.
But, I just got to say how incredible having satellite radio is! I really just wanted it to listen to in my office since the electrical interference by all of the computers there blocks out most radio stations, leaving just the all-'80s and the classic rock stations. Sirius comes in great, and I really don't sit near a window. In addition, there's just so much choice. I'm not the type of person who flips channels, but if there's a song on one radio station that I don't like I can just sit on a channel guide section that Sirius offers to see if there's one that I like on another station. In addition, Sirius has exclusive contracts with the NBA, NFL, and NHL (not that it really matters right now) to broadcast all games. I was able to tune in to the Magic/Knicks game that didn't air locally here in the Tampa Bay area. With the NFL, in addition to a full-time channel dedicated to NFL coverage, they also air the local broadcast of each game. So, if you live say... In Tampa Bay... And want to hear the Bears broadcast from Chicago, it's no problem. They have music from just about every genre, talk stations about pretty much anything, news broadcasts from CNN, CNBC, Fox News, the Weather Channel, and more. If you live in a major metropolitan area, you can even get your local weather and traffic reports every four minutes.
I guess, as you can see, I highly recommend it. I, personally, chose Sirius. XM is just as good, with their recent contract with Major League Baseball to air all of their games and contracts with some collegiate conferences including the ACC for sports content.
If you're fed up with the FCC yanking anything that may possibly entertain you on radio, make it as generic and lame as network television, satellite radio is really going to be your only outlet. But it is a great alternative, and if you're really into music, totally worth the extra $10-$13/month.
By the way, to people at Sirius, I just plugged you big time to both of the people who read my blog. So feel free to kick some free stuff my way, in care of AOwL.com.
December 03, 2004
Where, or where, has my Grand Owl gone?!
Wow, I didn't realize that it's been quite so long since I last made a post. I'll fill you in, though, I've been working undercover for the Disney Corp. See, they needed a little boost for their television stations, so I worked with them to generate some publicity. So, I was the one who pulled the towel off Nicollette Sheridan in the Monday Night Football promo with Terrell Owens. I was also the one who threw the cup in the Palace of Auburn Hills at Ron Artest causing the Pistons-Palace Brawl. And I was the one that told Barry Bonds' trainer that the rub-on steroids were really flaxseed oil, even though I have no clue what flaxseed oil is. I just thought it sounded good. What can I say, I do good work as ratings on SportsCenter are on the rise and Desperate Housewives and Monday Night Football were on the tip of everyone's tongues.
I Fought the Jock and the Jock Won
I want to make a little comment on the fight at the Palace, even though I realize that it's about two weeks old and people are really sick of hearing about it. Here's my only take... Lets just face it - people are jerks! I sadly, have been just as bad in abusing athletes (though not to the point of throwing stuff at them; if I'm paying $7 for a beer I'm sure as hell drinking it). I remember going to a hockey preseason game last year between the Lightning and Blue Jackets where I spent the first period screaming "baby killer" at Espen Knutsen. Knutsen, if you don't remember, was the hockey player who had one of his slapshots deflected into the stands killing a 10 year-old girl. And frankly, I didn't have anything to drink, I was just being an ass.
We all know that Ron Artest isn't 100% there (probably in the mid-40% range), but it's not like he was just running into the crowd for no reason. He had been provoked, and while the actions of Stephen Jackson are more inexcusable, these players form a strong bond and if I see one of my brothers fighting for his life, I sure as hell would go in there and defend them.
So, can anything be done? Well, while the other three professional leagues pretend to take the high ground, each has a blemish when it comes to fan/player altercations. True, the NFL has about eight foot walls that seperate the fans from the action. But does that keep fans off the field in college football from tearing down the goal posts? How about in Cleveland and New York where fans threw objects (from snowballs to bottles) onto the field? And we've seen Packers players make the "Lambeau Leap" into the stands in Green Bay, so what makes you think they wouldn't make a more insidious leap should they be pelted with a foreign object. Or how about baseball? While they have security throughout the stands of a stadium including along the field lines, that didn't stop Milton Bradley from throwing a bullpen chair into the crowd at Dodgers Stadium or the Dumb & Dumber father-son duo in Chicago from lynching that Royals coach. And who can forget the dumb fan who tried to jump Toronto Maple Leaf Tie Domi while he was in the penalty box in Philadelphia. So, what can be done? Well, apparently high walls, tall plexiglass, and security along the basepaths haven't worked 100% of the time. But, luckily, these are still the exception to the rule. We still don't have to have police in riot gear patrolling the stands as they do in European soccer matches, and I don't see it ever really coming to that in the States. So, prosecute the players as if they were in any bar brawl. Make sure that those responsible in the stands are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (yeah, banning them from the property... not really going to do any good), and lets move on.
And I said it was a "quick thought." Pssh, you should know better from me.
Ride Review
Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, I had the opportunity to put some mileage on my annual pass for the theme parks at Universal Orlando, taking in the three new attractions at my former stomping ground Universal Studios Florida. One day, I'll set up a specific website for ride reviews at the major theme parks in Orlando with some insider info from someone who worked in the parks for five years.
The Revenge of the Mummy
**** (out of five stars)
News of the Kongfrontation attraction closing had been spreading for years around Universal Studios Florida. But, I think it was the opening of the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at the Disney-MGM Studios which got the creative forces at Universal in gear. What they came up with is a great ride concept, even though it could have definitely come out as a better ride.
Universal refers to ROTM as a "psychological thrill ride." Really, since no old-school ride category fits the ROTM mold, I'll consider it a coaster-lite. It's part standard "look & point" ride where you run through several show scenes as a story plays out before you, part "roller coaster." But, if you're looking for a true coaster, you're going to find ROTM lacking. And if you're looking for a standard ride to relax and enjoy, ROTM might be too intense for you.
You'll enter through the Paramount Building to the left of the old Penn Station entrance where you entered Kongfrontation (it was formerly the JVC "Be A Star Experience", and later the Islands of Adventure Preview Center). The queue video is really funny, and it's recommended that you follow it as it'll help you understand some of the jokes for when you're actually on-board. You come to find out that you're on location with the cast and crew of the new Mummy sequel (not the old Boris Karloff in bandages movies of the '30s, but the Brendan Frasier movies of the late-'90s). Then, you'll enter the main building where you're immersed in an Egyptian archaelogical dig. Be careful, as the room is really dark and there are stairs (yes, I am clumsier than the average person and fell and hurt my ankle, but I did see some others trip over them as well).
Spoiler Alert (Don't read the next italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised)
Of course, you'll board your car out of the dig when the curse of the mummy's chamber is revealed and Imhotep begins taking souls to rebuild himself into the most powerful being on Earth. The early portions of the ride are, as I said before, the standard "look and point" as you travel through the Mummy's treasure chamber where you're "attacked" by the priest's guards (one of the lamest animatronic gimmicks in a modern ride, think of a spook house at a below average county fair). You narrowly escape their menace when you meet a dead-end, then from the walls, the flesh-eating scarabs from the films begin creeping in search of fresh meat. It's at this point where the ride starts to get good as you escape the beetles by plunging backwards onto a turntable as you prepare for the coaster portion. The coaster portion is fairly tame in comparison to Island of Adventure's Hulk and Dueling Dragons, but the excitement of having it in the dark enhances the experience. If you've been on MGM's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, the experience is similar except ROTM doesn't have (at least I don't remember it having) any inversions. A quick psych-out (making you think the ride's over when it's not) was a really cool touch.
The main problem that I have with ROTM is that the effects are on the cheesy side, and the ride is VERY short. The Roller Coaster Database clocks it at four minutes, but the majority of that time is the slow-moving "look & point" elements and not the coaster portion. The ride definitely has promise, and if Universal is smart they'll do a quick refurb to fix some of the elements and they'd definitely have a top draw ride for the Studios which definitely needs one.
Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast
**** (out of five stars)
With the diminishing appeal of the classic Hanna-Barbera characters among today's younger generations, Universal executives decided to dump the likes of Yogi Bear, Scooby-Doo, and The Jetsons for fresher cartoon stars when refurbishing the old Funtastic World of Hanna-Barbera attraction. Now, we have Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast featuring the animated stars of some of Nickelodeon's hit shows.
For those who loved the old Hanna ride, the Nicktoon Blast is pretty much the same thing. Instead of saving Elroy Jetson from the hands of Dick Dastardly, you're helping Jimmy Neutron "Boy Genius" (I tried to give myself the same nickname to limited success) protect the world, and more specifically the Nicktoon backlot, from alien invaders. The old rocket cars from Hanna are still there as well as the interactive area following the ride. Really, all they did was change the faces on-screen.
I LOVED the old Hanna ride, and while I was disappointed that the characters I remember from my childhood are gone, this ride still is a lot of fun and retains its place in my heart as one of my favorite attractions in the park.
Shrek 4-D
***** (out of five stars)
As you'll see when I do publish my full website of ride reviews, I don't give out five stars regularly. An attraction has to have great theming, a great concept, and follow through on that concept at a high level. No other attraction at Universal Studios Florida scores a five, and the only other attraction at the resort that scores a perfect mark is IOA's Spider-Man. But for an attraction that works on so many levels, entertaining kids, teens, and adults, a perfect score is more than deserved.
Shrek 4-D replaces the former Alfred Hitchcock exhibit, which is probably a disappointment to only the master's most hardcore fans. As you wind through the exterior queue you're reminded of how the original Shrek film ended with the mean green ogre falling in love with the beautiful princess Fiona and stopping her wedding to the incredibly evil (and incredibly short) Lord Farquaad. In true storybook fashion, the heroes live happily ever after as the wicked are vanquished. Or... so we think!
Once again... SPOILER ALERT! Don't read the italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised
When you reach the doors and are greeted with a hardy "Head inside, prisoner!" you know that not everything is serene in the land of Duloc. Apparently, while the physical being of Lord Farquaad was destroyed by the friendly dragon at the end of the first film, his spirit has returned to destroy Shrek and once-again take the hand of the princess. You're lead into a torture chamber where Farquaad has rounded up some of Shrek's storybook friends to find the location of the lovable ogre and his new wife. This is just the PRE-SHOW and you're already laughing in hysterics! Once he realizes that nobody's going to spill the beans, he's got no choice but to ELIMINATE YOU! Of course, the execution chamber is the main theater where the film plays out. The elements in the movie are similar to that of Muppetvision 4-D at Disney-MGM Studios, Honey, I Shrunk the Audience at EPCOT Center, and it's big sister Terminator 3-D where on-screen action meshes with elements within the theater and in your seats. I'll keep most of the film's elements to myself, but needless to say, if just the pre-show was hysterical, you can imagine how the movie is.
Just a note to parents of young children... Since you're dealing with the "ghost" of Lord Farquaad, some of the movie's scenes take place in areas that may be scary to small children. In addition, you have the option of forgoing the movies in-seat elements by using the stationary seats at the front of the theater (that's right, "stationary"... that's a hint as to what you'll experience).
The sense of humor of this ride definitely makes it one of the top attractions in Orlando, and definitely gets away with stuff that just wouldn't fly down at the House of Mouse. This attraction is highly recommended for anyone who just wants to sit-back, relax, and have a great time.
Random Thoughts
Well, this is where I'd put them, but I've already spent so much time on this that we'll just make them real quick...
I Fought the Jock and the Jock Won
I want to make a little comment on the fight at the Palace, even though I realize that it's about two weeks old and people are really sick of hearing about it. Here's my only take... Lets just face it - people are jerks! I sadly, have been just as bad in abusing athletes (though not to the point of throwing stuff at them; if I'm paying $7 for a beer I'm sure as hell drinking it). I remember going to a hockey preseason game last year between the Lightning and Blue Jackets where I spent the first period screaming "baby killer" at Espen Knutsen. Knutsen, if you don't remember, was the hockey player who had one of his slapshots deflected into the stands killing a 10 year-old girl. And frankly, I didn't have anything to drink, I was just being an ass.
We all know that Ron Artest isn't 100% there (probably in the mid-40% range), but it's not like he was just running into the crowd for no reason. He had been provoked, and while the actions of Stephen Jackson are more inexcusable, these players form a strong bond and if I see one of my brothers fighting for his life, I sure as hell would go in there and defend them.
So, can anything be done? Well, while the other three professional leagues pretend to take the high ground, each has a blemish when it comes to fan/player altercations. True, the NFL has about eight foot walls that seperate the fans from the action. But does that keep fans off the field in college football from tearing down the goal posts? How about in Cleveland and New York where fans threw objects (from snowballs to bottles) onto the field? And we've seen Packers players make the "Lambeau Leap" into the stands in Green Bay, so what makes you think they wouldn't make a more insidious leap should they be pelted with a foreign object. Or how about baseball? While they have security throughout the stands of a stadium including along the field lines, that didn't stop Milton Bradley from throwing a bullpen chair into the crowd at Dodgers Stadium or the Dumb & Dumber father-son duo in Chicago from lynching that Royals coach. And who can forget the dumb fan who tried to jump Toronto Maple Leaf Tie Domi while he was in the penalty box in Philadelphia. So, what can be done? Well, apparently high walls, tall plexiglass, and security along the basepaths haven't worked 100% of the time. But, luckily, these are still the exception to the rule. We still don't have to have police in riot gear patrolling the stands as they do in European soccer matches, and I don't see it ever really coming to that in the States. So, prosecute the players as if they were in any bar brawl. Make sure that those responsible in the stands are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (yeah, banning them from the property... not really going to do any good), and lets move on.
And I said it was a "quick thought." Pssh, you should know better from me.
Ride Review
Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, I had the opportunity to put some mileage on my annual pass for the theme parks at Universal Orlando, taking in the three new attractions at my former stomping ground Universal Studios Florida. One day, I'll set up a specific website for ride reviews at the major theme parks in Orlando with some insider info from someone who worked in the parks for five years.
The Revenge of the Mummy
**** (out of five stars)
News of the Kongfrontation attraction closing had been spreading for years around Universal Studios Florida. But, I think it was the opening of the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at the Disney-MGM Studios which got the creative forces at Universal in gear. What they came up with is a great ride concept, even though it could have definitely come out as a better ride.
Universal refers to ROTM as a "psychological thrill ride." Really, since no old-school ride category fits the ROTM mold, I'll consider it a coaster-lite. It's part standard "look & point" ride where you run through several show scenes as a story plays out before you, part "roller coaster." But, if you're looking for a true coaster, you're going to find ROTM lacking. And if you're looking for a standard ride to relax and enjoy, ROTM might be too intense for you.
You'll enter through the Paramount Building to the left of the old Penn Station entrance where you entered Kongfrontation (it was formerly the JVC "Be A Star Experience", and later the Islands of Adventure Preview Center). The queue video is really funny, and it's recommended that you follow it as it'll help you understand some of the jokes for when you're actually on-board. You come to find out that you're on location with the cast and crew of the new Mummy sequel (not the old Boris Karloff in bandages movies of the '30s, but the Brendan Frasier movies of the late-'90s). Then, you'll enter the main building where you're immersed in an Egyptian archaelogical dig. Be careful, as the room is really dark and there are stairs (yes, I am clumsier than the average person and fell and hurt my ankle, but I did see some others trip over them as well).
Spoiler Alert (Don't read the next italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised)
Of course, you'll board your car out of the dig when the curse of the mummy's chamber is revealed and Imhotep begins taking souls to rebuild himself into the most powerful being on Earth. The early portions of the ride are, as I said before, the standard "look and point" as you travel through the Mummy's treasure chamber where you're "attacked" by the priest's guards (one of the lamest animatronic gimmicks in a modern ride, think of a spook house at a below average county fair). You narrowly escape their menace when you meet a dead-end, then from the walls, the flesh-eating scarabs from the films begin creeping in search of fresh meat. It's at this point where the ride starts to get good as you escape the beetles by plunging backwards onto a turntable as you prepare for the coaster portion. The coaster portion is fairly tame in comparison to Island of Adventure's Hulk and Dueling Dragons, but the excitement of having it in the dark enhances the experience. If you've been on MGM's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, the experience is similar except ROTM doesn't have (at least I don't remember it having) any inversions. A quick psych-out (making you think the ride's over when it's not) was a really cool touch.
The main problem that I have with ROTM is that the effects are on the cheesy side, and the ride is VERY short. The Roller Coaster Database clocks it at four minutes, but the majority of that time is the slow-moving "look & point" elements and not the coaster portion. The ride definitely has promise, and if Universal is smart they'll do a quick refurb to fix some of the elements and they'd definitely have a top draw ride for the Studios which definitely needs one.
Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast
**** (out of five stars)
With the diminishing appeal of the classic Hanna-Barbera characters among today's younger generations, Universal executives decided to dump the likes of Yogi Bear, Scooby-Doo, and The Jetsons for fresher cartoon stars when refurbishing the old Funtastic World of Hanna-Barbera attraction. Now, we have Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast featuring the animated stars of some of Nickelodeon's hit shows.
For those who loved the old Hanna ride, the Nicktoon Blast is pretty much the same thing. Instead of saving Elroy Jetson from the hands of Dick Dastardly, you're helping Jimmy Neutron "Boy Genius" (I tried to give myself the same nickname to limited success) protect the world, and more specifically the Nicktoon backlot, from alien invaders. The old rocket cars from Hanna are still there as well as the interactive area following the ride. Really, all they did was change the faces on-screen.
I LOVED the old Hanna ride, and while I was disappointed that the characters I remember from my childhood are gone, this ride still is a lot of fun and retains its place in my heart as one of my favorite attractions in the park.
Shrek 4-D
***** (out of five stars)
As you'll see when I do publish my full website of ride reviews, I don't give out five stars regularly. An attraction has to have great theming, a great concept, and follow through on that concept at a high level. No other attraction at Universal Studios Florida scores a five, and the only other attraction at the resort that scores a perfect mark is IOA's Spider-Man. But for an attraction that works on so many levels, entertaining kids, teens, and adults, a perfect score is more than deserved.
Shrek 4-D replaces the former Alfred Hitchcock exhibit, which is probably a disappointment to only the master's most hardcore fans. As you wind through the exterior queue you're reminded of how the original Shrek film ended with the mean green ogre falling in love with the beautiful princess Fiona and stopping her wedding to the incredibly evil (and incredibly short) Lord Farquaad. In true storybook fashion, the heroes live happily ever after as the wicked are vanquished. Or... so we think!
Once again... SPOILER ALERT! Don't read the italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised
When you reach the doors and are greeted with a hardy "Head inside, prisoner!" you know that not everything is serene in the land of Duloc. Apparently, while the physical being of Lord Farquaad was destroyed by the friendly dragon at the end of the first film, his spirit has returned to destroy Shrek and once-again take the hand of the princess. You're lead into a torture chamber where Farquaad has rounded up some of Shrek's storybook friends to find the location of the lovable ogre and his new wife. This is just the PRE-SHOW and you're already laughing in hysterics! Once he realizes that nobody's going to spill the beans, he's got no choice but to ELIMINATE YOU! Of course, the execution chamber is the main theater where the film plays out. The elements in the movie are similar to that of Muppetvision 4-D at Disney-MGM Studios, Honey, I Shrunk the Audience at EPCOT Center, and it's big sister Terminator 3-D where on-screen action meshes with elements within the theater and in your seats. I'll keep most of the film's elements to myself, but needless to say, if just the pre-show was hysterical, you can imagine how the movie is.
Just a note to parents of young children... Since you're dealing with the "ghost" of Lord Farquaad, some of the movie's scenes take place in areas that may be scary to small children. In addition, you have the option of forgoing the movies in-seat elements by using the stationary seats at the front of the theater (that's right, "stationary"... that's a hint as to what you'll experience).
The sense of humor of this ride definitely makes it one of the top attractions in Orlando, and definitely gets away with stuff that just wouldn't fly down at the House of Mouse. This attraction is highly recommended for anyone who just wants to sit-back, relax, and have a great time.
Random Thoughts
Well, this is where I'd put them, but I've already spent so much time on this that we'll just make them real quick...
- Boy, at halftime of that USC/Notre Dame game, I really thought my Irish upset was going to happen. But, these last two season really shouldn't have cost Ty his job and I'm sure he's going to have success with another program in the near future.
- Hooters Restaurants yesterday lost a case in an Orlando court with restaurant chain Ker's WingHouse, who they accused of trademark infringement. While the restaurant's have similar theming, what finally brough Hooters to the courtroom against the WingHouse is that the chain's new stores in the Orlando and Daytona Beach areas are a huge success. Now, not only did they quest for a monopoly in the "breastaurant" industry backfire, it totally blew up in there face as they now owe the WingHouse $1.2 million in legal fees awarded by the jury.
- Give it up for my Orlando Magic, who are having a great start. After last year where we were waiting... And waiting... And waiting for the team to mesh together, this team just plays so well as a unit! They play for win #10 tonight in New York against the Knicks. They didn't reach that point last season until January 16th!
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