June 24, 2005
On the Road Again
Well, in playing around on the Internet today, I found that Yahoo! 360 has now gone live... At least on the Beta level. So, I'm setting up my blog over on my 360 page, http://360.yahoo.com/thegrandowl. Be patient, as since this is still in testing you may get an error page, but keep trying. You also get the shock of a lifetime... The face of your future dictator!
June 21, 2005
Thank You!
Thanks to the NBA for not being as stupid as the NHL! No lockout, no strike, play will start on time in November, and we will have the 2006 NBA Champion Orlando Magic!
ESPN.com - NBA, Players' Union Agree to New Labor Deal
ESPN.com - NBA, Players' Union Agree to New Labor Deal
June 20, 2005
I Shoulda Brought My Gun!
What's up, my little minions?! Man, nothing makes you ponder your own mortality than the weekend that I had. First, I had my 10-year class reunion on Saturday night. I also got to visit with my great-grandfather yesterday for Father's Day, who's about to celebrate his 94th birthday (his birthday happens to be July 1st or Canada Day, any coincidence that my life's dream is to move to Canada?). And finally, your malevolent dictator is moving closer to an anniversary of his own, as I celebrate my 28th birthday on Friday. All tribute may be forwarded to me, in care of AOwL.com.
My Own Version of Grosse Pointe Blank
Well, some of my early converts probably remember that one of my favorite movies of all-time is John Cusack's Grosse Pointe Blank, the story of a hitman returning to his suburban Detroit home to celebrate his 10-year high school reunion. While Cusack's character Martin Blank travels from Los Angeles to Grosse Pointe, Michigan to confront demons in his closet, my commute was only two hours from St. Petersburg to suburban Orlando.
Let me paint a picture for you... The year was 1995, and yours truly, unbelievable as it may seem, was not exactly the most popular person in the graduating class of Pick Your Various Orlando Lake High School. It wasn't really anything more than that I was very anti-social (no way!), I had a small group of friends I hung-out with, and that was it. I never went to prom (I was out of town at a state conference for a club I was in), didn't attend homecoming, didn't start dating until my Sophomore year in college, and I was 6 ft. by the 9th Grade so nobody picked on me. Pretty much, I avoided the "American Pie" high school experience of parties and trying to hook-up. The group of four friends from the Class of 1995 that I had back then, I still communicate with regularly. So, I went to my high school reunion to see the other 296 people from my graduating class that I didn't really communicate with back then.
Like in the movie, I decided to team up with my former krewe to attend the reunion together. Unfortunately, I didn't have any great lines like "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork, how have you been?" to use on my fellow classmates, I totally felt like I was living the movie. Walking into the hotel that was housing the event (luckily, ours was not held in the high school auditorium as in the movie), seeing the pretty people coming out intimidated me to the point that I was ready to leave right then! Screw my $60, I'd have a better time watching Caliente on the Tivo. But, sucked it up and walked in to meet my fellow classmate. Apparently, one of my friends who I came to the reunion with didn't share my disdain for those we went to school with and actually knew other people than our intimate clique. Of course, even though he introduces himself to me, I have no recollection of who he is or why I knew him. As we approach the lobby where registration was taking place, we finally begin to run into some recognizable faces, all still looking great which of course means BEER TIME! Nothing helps the self-image like some liquid courage. So, after checking in, we head over to the bar only to run into a woman that I had known dating back to when I moved to Orlando from Daytona Beach. She had definitely had more than a few beverages, and apparently is a fan of my sparkling wit (like the blog, my bizzare sense of humor is displayed on our alumni website). So, like the one woman that Martin runs into at the bar, she comes up to me going "You're so funny!" Anyways, I introduce her to the rest of my mates and she in turn introduces me to her husband as we get our drinks and go our separate ways. I always say how high school girls now are much hotter than back in our days, but maybe I just missed out. The women at my reunion were INCREDIBLE, either women I had gone to school with or dates of guys that had gone to my school. Whatever, they were hot! Then, I see this stunning woman there who looked like a cuter Kirsten Dunst, in this elegant black dress, and was just racking my brain to remember if I went to school with her. Well, that question was answered when I see that her date is standing right next to her, a guy I actually stuck up for back in middle school. Back then, this guy wasn't exactly a nerd, but he just was enough out there that people would pick on him. Of course, birds of a feather flock together, so we ended up sitting near each other in many classes and jerks would constantly make stupid remarks and throw shit at him and usually I would end up getting caught in the middle. So, I remember it clearly, we were in the 7th grade in typing class and they threw a wad of paper at him that hit me (yes, they really were aiming for him). So, when the teacher left the room I picked up one of my books and just nailed the dude in the chest, spitting out some threat that if any more shit were thrown in my general direction I'd do something or other. Note again, I was 6' by 9th grade, so I was already pretty big in the 7th grade so me threatening violence against somebody much smaller than me could be kind of intimidating. Anyways, following class I was talking with some girl who wanted to know why I would stick up for him, and I had an afterschool special moment trying to explain why I thought bullying was dumb and that if you pick on one person over trivial stuff what's to keep them from picking on you for trivial things. Really Blossom-level material. I mean, there was more to that moment than that (and I eventually got in trouble because someone ratted me out), but after that he was generally left alone. Well, for the time at least. But, now back in the modern day, I have to say that I was kind of jealous. If he could hook up with "Hotter" Kirsten Dunst, he could have stood up for himself back then.
Then, the moment that everyone hopes for during a reunion, running across the girl/guy that you had a crush on years before, but haven't seen since then. Mine happened to be a girl whom I had dozens of classes with starting back in the 7th grade. As a cheerleader for the Pop Warner team, seeing her in those outfits is probably the reason why I still obsess over cheerleaders. She also would always wear her hair in a ponytail, another huge turn-on for me that lasts to this day. Pretty much, everything that I look for in a woman both physically and personality-wise, other than being Asian or Hispanic (which I developed in college), stems from this girl that I originally met nearly 20 years ago. And today, she's as cute as ever. Her long blonde hair has grown darker, and she has it cut short in a way that perfectly frames her face. If it weren't for her nametag, I would have thought that she was just another hottie I missed out on. While we weren't tight back then, we were always friendly but I always would shield the fact that I had a huge crush on her. So, it was no surprise that in seeing her again I couldn't bring myself to talk to her. What can I say other than that I'm a huge wuss? So, I'm sure she's one of the millions of devoted AOwL readers, so if this situation sounds familiar to you and you just attended your high school reunion, feel free to contact me via AOwL.com.
Anyways, during dinner they had a "special band" composed of fellow classmates play. OK, muscially they were pretty good. A little too loud for the space they were in, but not bad. But their singer was abysmal. Apparently, another of my friends knew one of the band members, and following their set he talked to him to find out that their performance was "a joke that went over everyone's heads." Umm, yeah! That had to be it. After that, and with about five beers in my system, it was time to bust a move out on the dance floor. While out there, I pretty much hung with my friends when the same girl who I had met earlier that night who said I was so funny came out and started dancing with me with her husband right there. Well, the fifth beer was still in my hand and hadn't quite kicked in yet, so I still had some sense of decorum so I drug my friend's wife out to dance with me. That worked for a while, but as I was finishing off Beer #6, and I was definitely beyond tipsy (I'm a cheap drunk as two will get me feeling good and three will begin pushing the limits of my sobriety), she came back out and started dancing with me and I just didn't care anymore. The freaky thing is that her husband asked to use my camera and took a picture. Of course, now my camera isn't working right and that shot's probably lost forever, but I definitely would have loved to have had it just as a reminder of how weird that moment was.
All in all, what I thought would be a nightmare of an evening turned out OK as I realized that my teenage angst was entirely internal and that my grudge back then was more with myself than anyone I had gone to school with. Just like the end of the movie, I feel like coming to that revelation and dealing with it can allow me to move on with my life than being hung up on the past. Of course, I've come to recognize that before, but growing beyond who you were for nearly 30 years is definitely easier said than done. And for those who I told what I do and you say that I totally sold out to 'The Man' realize this, the Revolution's coming!
Movie Review: Batman Begins (5 Owls Out of 5)
Going into this film, I had really low expectations. The only thing that I had seen Christian Bale in was the Shaft remake. So, while I was sure he was a capable actor, I wasn't sure how well he could pull off a young Bruce Wayne. And of course, there was the debacle that was Batman & Robin. However, that film was just so bad that if it comes on TV I watch it just to laugh at how ridiculously bad it is (I love the whole fight sequence between Batman and Mr. Freeze's henchman staged like an adaptation of Starlight Express at a hockey game). So, I was amazed out how incredible this film turned out.
The story, based on the Batman: Year One serial, describes the origin of the Caped Crusader, some of his comic book counterparts (with young Dick Grayson thankfully absent), and features the villain Scarecrow. The opening of the film jumps back-and-forth through time, taking us through young Bruce's childhood to his training in a remote mountaintop hideout of the League of Shadows. You find out why he chose bats to represent him, how he became so skilled in fighting, and also with the help of Morgan Freeman how he got all of his cool gadgets. Unlike Revenge of the Sith, the doomed romance between Bruce Wayne and longtime gal-pal assistant DA Rachel Dawes doesn't come off as middle school production of Romeo & Juliet. Not exactly the most brilliant piece of writing ever, but comparable to the final scene in the original Spider-Man.
Of course, with all superhero movies, the story does suffer from some lame plotpoints. The villainous plan is overly complicated and impractical, you have the damsel/young kid in distress moments, the morality tale, and all of that type of garbage. But, unlike other films, it keeps these points short and quick. The action seems tepid at times as they try to breathe more life into the characters, but when it kicks in is intense. And of course, they have to set it up for a sequel, which makes you anticipate the next in the series. All in all, it displays Batman's personality in all of its dark glory just as the Spider-Man series did a great job of showing his conflict in character of being an average teenager or a superhero.
Random Thoughts
My Own Version of Grosse Pointe Blank
Well, some of my early converts probably remember that one of my favorite movies of all-time is John Cusack's Grosse Pointe Blank, the story of a hitman returning to his suburban Detroit home to celebrate his 10-year high school reunion. While Cusack's character Martin Blank travels from Los Angeles to Grosse Pointe, Michigan to confront demons in his closet, my commute was only two hours from St. Petersburg to suburban Orlando.
Let me paint a picture for you... The year was 1995, and yours truly, unbelievable as it may seem, was not exactly the most popular person in the graduating class of Pick Your Various Orlando Lake High School. It wasn't really anything more than that I was very anti-social (no way!), I had a small group of friends I hung-out with, and that was it. I never went to prom (I was out of town at a state conference for a club I was in), didn't attend homecoming, didn't start dating until my Sophomore year in college, and I was 6 ft. by the 9th Grade so nobody picked on me. Pretty much, I avoided the "American Pie" high school experience of parties and trying to hook-up. The group of four friends from the Class of 1995 that I had back then, I still communicate with regularly. So, I went to my high school reunion to see the other 296 people from my graduating class that I didn't really communicate with back then.
Like in the movie, I decided to team up with my former krewe to attend the reunion together. Unfortunately, I didn't have any great lines like "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork, how have you been?" to use on my fellow classmates, I totally felt like I was living the movie. Walking into the hotel that was housing the event (luckily, ours was not held in the high school auditorium as in the movie), seeing the pretty people coming out intimidated me to the point that I was ready to leave right then! Screw my $60, I'd have a better time watching Caliente on the Tivo. But, sucked it up and walked in to meet my fellow classmate. Apparently, one of my friends who I came to the reunion with didn't share my disdain for those we went to school with and actually knew other people than our intimate clique. Of course, even though he introduces himself to me, I have no recollection of who he is or why I knew him. As we approach the lobby where registration was taking place, we finally begin to run into some recognizable faces, all still looking great which of course means BEER TIME! Nothing helps the self-image like some liquid courage. So, after checking in, we head over to the bar only to run into a woman that I had known dating back to when I moved to Orlando from Daytona Beach. She had definitely had more than a few beverages, and apparently is a fan of my sparkling wit (like the blog, my bizzare sense of humor is displayed on our alumni website). So, like the one woman that Martin runs into at the bar, she comes up to me going "You're so funny!" Anyways, I introduce her to the rest of my mates and she in turn introduces me to her husband as we get our drinks and go our separate ways. I always say how high school girls now are much hotter than back in our days, but maybe I just missed out. The women at my reunion were INCREDIBLE, either women I had gone to school with or dates of guys that had gone to my school. Whatever, they were hot! Then, I see this stunning woman there who looked like a cuter Kirsten Dunst, in this elegant black dress, and was just racking my brain to remember if I went to school with her. Well, that question was answered when I see that her date is standing right next to her, a guy I actually stuck up for back in middle school. Back then, this guy wasn't exactly a nerd, but he just was enough out there that people would pick on him. Of course, birds of a feather flock together, so we ended up sitting near each other in many classes and jerks would constantly make stupid remarks and throw shit at him and usually I would end up getting caught in the middle. So, I remember it clearly, we were in the 7th grade in typing class and they threw a wad of paper at him that hit me (yes, they really were aiming for him). So, when the teacher left the room I picked up one of my books and just nailed the dude in the chest, spitting out some threat that if any more shit were thrown in my general direction I'd do something or other. Note again, I was 6' by 9th grade, so I was already pretty big in the 7th grade so me threatening violence against somebody much smaller than me could be kind of intimidating. Anyways, following class I was talking with some girl who wanted to know why I would stick up for him, and I had an afterschool special moment trying to explain why I thought bullying was dumb and that if you pick on one person over trivial stuff what's to keep them from picking on you for trivial things. Really Blossom-level material. I mean, there was more to that moment than that (and I eventually got in trouble because someone ratted me out), but after that he was generally left alone. Well, for the time at least. But, now back in the modern day, I have to say that I was kind of jealous. If he could hook up with "Hotter" Kirsten Dunst, he could have stood up for himself back then.
Then, the moment that everyone hopes for during a reunion, running across the girl/guy that you had a crush on years before, but haven't seen since then. Mine happened to be a girl whom I had dozens of classes with starting back in the 7th grade. As a cheerleader for the Pop Warner team, seeing her in those outfits is probably the reason why I still obsess over cheerleaders. She also would always wear her hair in a ponytail, another huge turn-on for me that lasts to this day. Pretty much, everything that I look for in a woman both physically and personality-wise, other than being Asian or Hispanic (which I developed in college), stems from this girl that I originally met nearly 20 years ago. And today, she's as cute as ever. Her long blonde hair has grown darker, and she has it cut short in a way that perfectly frames her face. If it weren't for her nametag, I would have thought that she was just another hottie I missed out on. While we weren't tight back then, we were always friendly but I always would shield the fact that I had a huge crush on her. So, it was no surprise that in seeing her again I couldn't bring myself to talk to her. What can I say other than that I'm a huge wuss? So, I'm sure she's one of the millions of devoted AOwL readers, so if this situation sounds familiar to you and you just attended your high school reunion, feel free to contact me via AOwL.com.
Anyways, during dinner they had a "special band" composed of fellow classmates play. OK, muscially they were pretty good. A little too loud for the space they were in, but not bad. But their singer was abysmal. Apparently, another of my friends knew one of the band members, and following their set he talked to him to find out that their performance was "a joke that went over everyone's heads." Umm, yeah! That had to be it. After that, and with about five beers in my system, it was time to bust a move out on the dance floor. While out there, I pretty much hung with my friends when the same girl who I had met earlier that night who said I was so funny came out and started dancing with me with her husband right there. Well, the fifth beer was still in my hand and hadn't quite kicked in yet, so I still had some sense of decorum so I drug my friend's wife out to dance with me. That worked for a while, but as I was finishing off Beer #6, and I was definitely beyond tipsy (I'm a cheap drunk as two will get me feeling good and three will begin pushing the limits of my sobriety), she came back out and started dancing with me and I just didn't care anymore. The freaky thing is that her husband asked to use my camera and took a picture. Of course, now my camera isn't working right and that shot's probably lost forever, but I definitely would have loved to have had it just as a reminder of how weird that moment was.
All in all, what I thought would be a nightmare of an evening turned out OK as I realized that my teenage angst was entirely internal and that my grudge back then was more with myself than anyone I had gone to school with. Just like the end of the movie, I feel like coming to that revelation and dealing with it can allow me to move on with my life than being hung up on the past. Of course, I've come to recognize that before, but growing beyond who you were for nearly 30 years is definitely easier said than done. And for those who I told what I do and you say that I totally sold out to 'The Man' realize this, the Revolution's coming!
Movie Review: Batman Begins (5 Owls Out of 5)
Going into this film, I had really low expectations. The only thing that I had seen Christian Bale in was the Shaft remake. So, while I was sure he was a capable actor, I wasn't sure how well he could pull off a young Bruce Wayne. And of course, there was the debacle that was Batman & Robin. However, that film was just so bad that if it comes on TV I watch it just to laugh at how ridiculously bad it is (I love the whole fight sequence between Batman and Mr. Freeze's henchman staged like an adaptation of Starlight Express at a hockey game). So, I was amazed out how incredible this film turned out.
The story, based on the Batman: Year One serial, describes the origin of the Caped Crusader, some of his comic book counterparts (with young Dick Grayson thankfully absent), and features the villain Scarecrow. The opening of the film jumps back-and-forth through time, taking us through young Bruce's childhood to his training in a remote mountaintop hideout of the League of Shadows. You find out why he chose bats to represent him, how he became so skilled in fighting, and also with the help of Morgan Freeman how he got all of his cool gadgets. Unlike Revenge of the Sith, the doomed romance between Bruce Wayne and longtime gal-pal assistant DA Rachel Dawes doesn't come off as middle school production of Romeo & Juliet. Not exactly the most brilliant piece of writing ever, but comparable to the final scene in the original Spider-Man.
Of course, with all superhero movies, the story does suffer from some lame plotpoints. The villainous plan is overly complicated and impractical, you have the damsel/young kid in distress moments, the morality tale, and all of that type of garbage. But, unlike other films, it keeps these points short and quick. The action seems tepid at times as they try to breathe more life into the characters, but when it kicks in is intense. And of course, they have to set it up for a sequel, which makes you anticipate the next in the series. All in all, it displays Batman's personality in all of its dark glory just as the Spider-Man series did a great job of showing his conflict in character of being an average teenager or a superhero.
Random Thoughts
- It's not really their fault, but I'm growing increasingly disappointed in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Last Tuesday's episode was the second in their new season, and it looks like they're trying to move into the territory of shows like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The series originally would take the average guy and give him and his home the metrosexual makeover but recent episodes dating back to last season appear to have sad-sap stories behind them. The most recent episode displayed the life of a family that has quintuplets. What made Queer Eye so cool for me is that I saw people who were similar to me making small changes in their lives which I could copy. I don't have five babies, nor do I play for the Red Sox (even though that episode was cool for introducing us to Johnny Damon's hot wife Michelle). It appears that tomorrow's episode is going to feature a soldier preparing to go into combat. Each one has a great and sometimes inspirational story, but it's losing it's appeal to me as I no longer relate to the people being made over. But, as the ratings continue to slip for them, I'm sure Bravo is going to keep up these story driven episodes because they feel that they capture the audience's interest.
- Sticking to the TV realm, last week was the final episode for this season of The Shield. With Glenn Close signed for only this season, you knew that something would happen to her in this episode. While I thought that she would be killed, what does happen to her character is ten times more heartbreaking. It also sets up for what will be a shitstorm next season, as the LAPD gains dirt on the goings-on of Detective Mackey's group of rogue cops. But, as one incredible show leaves us for another year, another comes to take its place as tomorrow night starts the second season of Rescue Me. Also, FX premiered their newest show last week 30 Days, which is based on the film Super Size Me where they will be taking people and exposing them to different lifestyles for a month. And FX has another great looking show coming up called Over There about soldiers fighting in Iraq. FX is definitely the best network on basic cable!
- But, moving on to the best network period... HBO. I finally bit the bullet and forked over the extra $11/month to DirecTV to get HBO. Just to detour real quick, HBO on DirecTV is pretty expensive. First off, you only get five channels: HBO, HBO 2, HBO Signature, and HBO Family (they claim you get seven, but as I don't have a high-def TV or the Spanish-language feed, I don't get HBO HD or HBO Latino). The equivalent cable package has HBO for a buck cheaper, includes HBO Zone, HBO Comedy, and HBO On Demand. Just saying! Anyways, I guess I picked the worst time to pick it up as there really isn't anything great on. Obviously, The Sopranos is still another year away, Curb Your Enthusiasm is gone for a while, and the show I got it for, Deadwood, just had their most recent season end. I have on my Tivo the three most recent episodes of a comedy called Entourage that looked kind of funny and also recorded a new series called Cathouse which is supposed to show life in a Las Vegas brothel. Anyways, I gave up hope on Time Warner following News Corp.'s lead with FX to move some of their edgier programming from HBO to one of their basic cable channels, TNT or TBS. I've always shunned subscribing to HBO because I still think of it as a movie channel, and most of the movies that they air I didn't want to see in the first place. But with all of these great shows that everyone raves to me about, I just had to chin up and get it. Hopefully, it's money well spent.
- I heard so much about it that I searched the Internet to find Jessica Simpson's new video for These Boots Are Made For Walking, which is off the soundtrack for the new Dukes of Hazzard movie. Now, of Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera, and Mandy Moore, the late-90's pop princesses, I was always a Britney guy. I thought that Jessica and Christina were cute (and Mandy was way too young for my liking), but overrated. Well man, I had never seen Jessica move like this! I thought she was the goody-goody of the group. Wow, I'm dying for her to come by my place and wash my car!
- Major cudos to CNN for ending their subscription service to watch video on their website. We all know that it's because they'll make more money in advertising revenues than they were in subscription fees, but still. They were the only one of the major broadcast news outlets that still required a subscription to view video of stories they aired, and the F that I was going to pay for that.
- Finally, I know I love to talk about Sirius Satellite Radio (by the way Sirius, good work on getting picked up in Canada so I don't have to cancel my subscription when I move to the Great White North), but there's another thing I have to sing the praises of. No, it's not the new Radio Margaritaville channel... It's the Radio Chick on Sirius Talk Central. It's just an incredibly hysterical show, coming on weekdays from 10-2. I had started listening to her back when her show was first picked up by Sirius but kind of lost track of it amongst all of the other great stuff on. But definitely, if you have Sirius, check it out some day because the show's addicting.
June 13, 2005
Tonight at The Pit... Everybody Gets Laid
Ah, PCU... An underrated college sex kind of comedy. Check it out on one of its several weekly showings on Comedy Central. What's up everybody out there in Internet-land?! Your malevolent dictator here, still reeling from being plucked out of his personal Nirvana, Toronto, for his own pit of hell, Tampa. And, may I say, it is officially summer here in the Sunshine State. Driving home from work on Friday evening in a near monsoon as Tropical Storm Arlene brushed by the Bay Area. Followed by the ridiculous midday heat mixed with the standing water driving up the humidity to uncomfortable levels, which lasted late into the evening. Then, coming out of the movie theater at 11:30 it felt about as hot as it was that afternoon. Blech!
And this week has the potential of being totally emotionally draining. Because, coming up on Saturday, it's my 10-year high school reunion. Honestly, I don't know what the thing with me and age is, but I don't like the fact that I'm getting old(er). Next weekend I celebrate my 28th birthday, another glaring reminder that 30 is right around the corner. But, I'm sure I'll have some great stories next Monday coming out of my reunion. There's always the incredibly gorgeous popular girl who has hit hard times, the nerdy guy who all the women want to cling to (which would be me, but I was never the nerdy guy... just the guy all the women wanted to cling to), and there's going to be a band!
Thank You, Lou!
My first topic for today's post was going to be an open-letter to Devil Rays manager Lou Piniella, appealing him to say something in public that would rally support around him and the team against Rays management. Lou is really the only one in the entire organization that has any pull with the public, as the general public probably has no clue who many players on the roster even are and has utter disdain for current general partner Vince Naimoli.
Lou came to Tampa, his hometown, to lead this team under false pretenses. He was told when he took the helm that the purse-pinching attitude that the D-Rays have followed after their failed "Hit Show" experiment (when they signed big name veterans to contracts, just to finish in last). And it wasn't even that Lou was promised that the Rays would go from last in the league in payroll to dropping $100-200 million like the Sox and Yankees. It was just moderate progress over the term of tenure, possibly moving from the high $20s to maybe the low $40s. This would put them in the league of big spending clubs like THE ROYALS! But no, the Rays continued to strip payroll with their constant promise of great young players developing down in the minors. Always the one thing that I hate about baseball and hockey... If your team stinks, they'll always claim that there's promise in their prospects in the minors. Always giving you hope that there's a bright future right around the corner (and yes, I was a Cubs fan prior to moving here, so I've been through this for years).
The Rays are coming off a horrible three-week road trip where they won only two games. They scored 55 runs in the twelve games outside of the Trop (4.5/game), and they gave up 103 (8.6/game). Not to mention the blown opportunities, such as yesterday where they give up a game-tying home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth (but they took the game in 13 innings). And then there's poor Lou after every game trying to rationalize yet another loss.
So, as I was thinking of arguments to write on behalf of Lou, he goes out yesterday prior to their game against the Pirates and blasts the current ownership. The fact of the matter is that Lou is done at the end of this season, so it's a matter of if he goes on his own terms or if he's pushed aside. George Steinbrenner's up in New York salivating over the opportunity to put in a tempestuous personality which he believes could perk up his stagnant Yankees, so it's not like Sweet Lou is going to fall on hard times if he's no longer the D-Rays manager. And while I think his quote kind of throws his own players under the bus, he firmly points the fingers at the current ownership. The miserly Vince Naimoli (who is the managing partner while owning only 15% of the team), and the seemingly disinterested majority shareholder Stu Steinberg. The Bay Area totally knows about bad ownership, as they had to deal with fifteen years of Hugh Culverhouse over the Bucs. But see what a change can do. These people don't change... Just look at The Bidwells, owners of the Arizona Cardinals, and Donald Sterling of the LA Clippers. No matter how bad they are, no matter the lack of fan support, they're not going to put any resources into their clubs because it's like a business to them. Hopefully, this will galvanize the team and the community around Lou but, as there's an article in today's St. Petersburg Times which pretty much states that the only recourse that the team has is to fire Lou now, stating that he's been picking at management in an attempt to get himself fired. I think that if Lou wanted out that badly, he'd step aside knowing full well that the baseball community would understand. No, I think that he's doing this intentionally to shame ownership into making some changes. Will it work?! Well, it's doubtful but I applaud Lou for putting himself out on the line like that.
Movie Review
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Three Owls Out of Five)
OK, I didn't buy into the Brad and Angelina hype around this movie. If Brad dumped cutie Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie, that's his business and means that Jennifer Anniston's back on the market. But the movie actually looked, from the previews, that it would be fun and the critics were drooling all over themselves in their reviews. So, I thought I would check it out... Seems like the critics bought into the hype or maybe were watching a different movie, because I sure didn't see it.
I think this sometimes happens with critics. They either get caught up in the hype, or give make-up reviews (kind of like in sports you'll hear someone comment that the referees gave a make-up call, where they're making up for something they missed earlier). Most say that the on-screen chemistry between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie was electric; to me it was about as magnetic as Arnold and Jamie Lee in True Lies. One said that the final car chase is one of the best sequences in recent memory, so when the credits popped up at the end of the movie I thought I might have missed it (the one they must have been referring to wasn't that great). In other words, I just don't get what the critics saw so I'll tell you what I saw. The movie progresses very slowly, there's often big gaps in the action, the plotline is mumbled, and really the only good thing in there is Vince Vaughn's character (who's barely in the movie). Admittedly, I don't see what the big deal is with Angelina Jolie. She's all right, but I remember seeing her in Tomb Raider wondering why the producers couldn't find someone hotter to play Lara Croft. Both her and Brad Pitt had their funny moments, but all in all, this is getting way too much hype because of the alleged off-screen romance between them which just doesn't match what this movie has to offer.
Speaking of too much hype, it makes me weary of the whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes thing. I'd almost tune out of their films if they weren't Batman and Steven Spielberg adapting War of the Worlds (one of the trailers before Mr. & Mrs. Smith that looked really good).
Random Thoughts
And this week has the potential of being totally emotionally draining. Because, coming up on Saturday, it's my 10-year high school reunion. Honestly, I don't know what the thing with me and age is, but I don't like the fact that I'm getting old(er). Next weekend I celebrate my 28th birthday, another glaring reminder that 30 is right around the corner. But, I'm sure I'll have some great stories next Monday coming out of my reunion. There's always the incredibly gorgeous popular girl who has hit hard times, the nerdy guy who all the women want to cling to (which would be me, but I was never the nerdy guy... just the guy all the women wanted to cling to), and there's going to be a band!
Thank You, Lou!
My first topic for today's post was going to be an open-letter to Devil Rays manager Lou Piniella, appealing him to say something in public that would rally support around him and the team against Rays management. Lou is really the only one in the entire organization that has any pull with the public, as the general public probably has no clue who many players on the roster even are and has utter disdain for current general partner Vince Naimoli.
Lou came to Tampa, his hometown, to lead this team under false pretenses. He was told when he took the helm that the purse-pinching attitude that the D-Rays have followed after their failed "Hit Show" experiment (when they signed big name veterans to contracts, just to finish in last). And it wasn't even that Lou was promised that the Rays would go from last in the league in payroll to dropping $100-200 million like the Sox and Yankees. It was just moderate progress over the term of tenure, possibly moving from the high $20s to maybe the low $40s. This would put them in the league of big spending clubs like THE ROYALS! But no, the Rays continued to strip payroll with their constant promise of great young players developing down in the minors. Always the one thing that I hate about baseball and hockey... If your team stinks, they'll always claim that there's promise in their prospects in the minors. Always giving you hope that there's a bright future right around the corner (and yes, I was a Cubs fan prior to moving here, so I've been through this for years).
The Rays are coming off a horrible three-week road trip where they won only two games. They scored 55 runs in the twelve games outside of the Trop (4.5/game), and they gave up 103 (8.6/game). Not to mention the blown opportunities, such as yesterday where they give up a game-tying home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth (but they took the game in 13 innings). And then there's poor Lou after every game trying to rationalize yet another loss.
So, as I was thinking of arguments to write on behalf of Lou, he goes out yesterday prior to their game against the Pirates and blasts the current ownership. The fact of the matter is that Lou is done at the end of this season, so it's a matter of if he goes on his own terms or if he's pushed aside. George Steinbrenner's up in New York salivating over the opportunity to put in a tempestuous personality which he believes could perk up his stagnant Yankees, so it's not like Sweet Lou is going to fall on hard times if he's no longer the D-Rays manager. And while I think his quote kind of throws his own players under the bus, he firmly points the fingers at the current ownership. The miserly Vince Naimoli (who is the managing partner while owning only 15% of the team), and the seemingly disinterested majority shareholder Stu Steinberg. The Bay Area totally knows about bad ownership, as they had to deal with fifteen years of Hugh Culverhouse over the Bucs. But see what a change can do. These people don't change... Just look at The Bidwells, owners of the Arizona Cardinals, and Donald Sterling of the LA Clippers. No matter how bad they are, no matter the lack of fan support, they're not going to put any resources into their clubs because it's like a business to them. Hopefully, this will galvanize the team and the community around Lou but, as there's an article in today's St. Petersburg Times which pretty much states that the only recourse that the team has is to fire Lou now, stating that he's been picking at management in an attempt to get himself fired. I think that if Lou wanted out that badly, he'd step aside knowing full well that the baseball community would understand. No, I think that he's doing this intentionally to shame ownership into making some changes. Will it work?! Well, it's doubtful but I applaud Lou for putting himself out on the line like that.
Movie Review
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Three Owls Out of Five)
OK, I didn't buy into the Brad and Angelina hype around this movie. If Brad dumped cutie Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie, that's his business and means that Jennifer Anniston's back on the market. But the movie actually looked, from the previews, that it would be fun and the critics were drooling all over themselves in their reviews. So, I thought I would check it out... Seems like the critics bought into the hype or maybe were watching a different movie, because I sure didn't see it.
I think this sometimes happens with critics. They either get caught up in the hype, or give make-up reviews (kind of like in sports you'll hear someone comment that the referees gave a make-up call, where they're making up for something they missed earlier). Most say that the on-screen chemistry between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie was electric; to me it was about as magnetic as Arnold and Jamie Lee in True Lies. One said that the final car chase is one of the best sequences in recent memory, so when the credits popped up at the end of the movie I thought I might have missed it (the one they must have been referring to wasn't that great). In other words, I just don't get what the critics saw so I'll tell you what I saw. The movie progresses very slowly, there's often big gaps in the action, the plotline is mumbled, and really the only good thing in there is Vince Vaughn's character (who's barely in the movie). Admittedly, I don't see what the big deal is with Angelina Jolie. She's all right, but I remember seeing her in Tomb Raider wondering why the producers couldn't find someone hotter to play Lara Croft. Both her and Brad Pitt had their funny moments, but all in all, this is getting way too much hype because of the alleged off-screen romance between them which just doesn't match what this movie has to offer.
Speaking of too much hype, it makes me weary of the whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes thing. I'd almost tune out of their films if they weren't Batman and Steven Spielberg adapting War of the Worlds (one of the trailers before Mr. & Mrs. Smith that looked really good).
Random Thoughts
- Well, I got to check out some new music over the last week. First, I got the new White Stripes CD, Get Behind Me Satan, as an early birthday present from my friend. Really good, but it kind of strays from their last two mainstream albums. While current hit Blue Orchid is more along the lines of White Blood Cells, most of the album follows the more folk sound of the latter tracks on Elephant. My favorite album, after briefly referencing it last week, was Paul Anka's Rock Swings. I mean, he totally turns tracks that I love, like "Blackhole Sun" and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" around to make me love them more, and can even make songs like Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger" tolerable. Definitely a pick up for anyone who can appreciate a mixture of different music genres. I also have gotten to hear most, but not all, of Coldplay's newest X&Y. Again, a great album and totally Coldplay. I just love the current mainstream music scene at the moment as it "seems" more artistic and less corporate (like the boy band and bubblegum pop era of a couple years ago).
- This week, I'm going back to the world of broadcast journalism for my "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy". This week, the "honor" goes to yummy CNN anchor Veronica De La Cruz. I honestly had never seen her until her stint on CNN Headline News last night, and she was that cute (I don't really like her hair in their picture, as she has grown it out). I don't have much to add for her since I only saw her for the first time last night, other than that Atlanta's not that far Veronica, so if you'd like to stalk me feel free to contact me, in care of AOwL.com.
June 08, 2005
Oh Winnie!
Hello my little droogies!
I've been updating yesterday's post as more items and stories come to mind. I'm also fixing the picture links which apparently don't work.
But, I just had to say that I got my July issue of Stuff Magazine, and flipping through the pages I just found this goddess; so I look for the name and it's... Danica McKellar! I had Danica as one of my "Women I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" a few months ago prior to a guest spot on some lame UPN show that I don't even remember anymore (she got me to watch UPN, that's how much I love her!). Anyways, she looks incredible in her photo spread so to any guy out there who used to fantasize about having a Winnie Cooper as your next door neighbor, definitely pick up a copy.
I've been updating yesterday's post as more items and stories come to mind. I'm also fixing the picture links which apparently don't work.
But, I just had to say that I got my July issue of Stuff Magazine, and flipping through the pages I just found this goddess; so I look for the name and it's... Danica McKellar! I had Danica as one of my "Women I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" a few months ago prior to a guest spot on some lame UPN show that I don't even remember anymore (she got me to watch UPN, that's how much I love her!). Anyways, she looks incredible in her photo spread so to any guy out there who used to fantasize about having a Winnie Cooper as your next door neighbor, definitely pick up a copy.
June 07, 2005
Vacation, All I Ever Wanted
What's up, everybody! I have returned from my trip to the Great White North. I have my future capital staked out for my global empire of evil... All's good. Lots 'o stories to tell, and pix to share.
Weirdest Marketing Campaign
While up there, I was reading one of the smaller dailies, Dose, when I run across an ad for a Canadian convenience store called Mac's. The ad was for their version of the Slurpee called the Froster. Mac's has introduced a new flavor called... the Bloody Zit! Mmm... But if that hasn't gotten your taste buds salivating, the ad (which I also saw in a larger version on a bus stop) has a Froster cup sitting on what appears to be a surgery table with blood and puss splattered behind it. Delicious! To add to it, though I didn't get the opportunity to see it, there apparently is a television ad campaign where two teenage lovers who have "acne problems" see zits bleeding on each other, and lick them.
Now see, as a marketing grad I know that this is just brilliant. This extreme imagery is the only reason why I even noticed it, and of course as the corporate tool that I am, I checked out the Mac's across the street from my hotel to try it out. But, they went just a little too far in the theming department. To get myself to enjoy a beverage called a "Bloddy Zit" would have been hard enough, but once you get to the store they have sprinkle-on flavors that you may add with names such as the "Oily Blackhead". That just made the mental imagery too gross, and I ended up getting a Pepsi Froster. But see, it did enough to get me into the store, and that's a success in the advertising world.
But, if any of my massive legions of Canadian readers have tried the Bloody Zit, feel free to contact me here at AOwL.com to tell me what flavor it is.
Getting Around... Getting Lost!
Being a cold-weather climate, Torontonians take advantage of a massive underground city in their downtown area linked by tunnels called the PATH. Being the first week of warm-weather temperatures in the area, and not wanting to deal with the huslte-and-bustle of traffic on the surface, I chose to utilize the PATH to get around the city as often as I could. Lets just say, I probably could have used a GPS to navigate my way through the labyrinth of tunnels underneath the city. First, maps are few and far between, and don't mark where you are. So, once you're lucky enough to find a map, you have to run back to find a sign somewhere that tells you what building you're under. Then, you have to try and memorize the trail of buildings that you'll need to follow to get to your intended destination because you don't know when you'll find another map. Plus, each time you access a new building, you enter its food court and retail area which usually looks exactly like the one you just left, making you think that you're walking in circles.
The saddest example of this in my case was getting from the CBC building to Toronto city hall, which was the end of the PATH and next door to my hotel. The trip was about 10-15 blocks, so not right around the corner but not that far. If I would have stuck to the surface streets, it probably would have taken me about 20-30 minutes to make the trip. It took me nearly three hours! I ended up going in the complete opposite direction as I ended up walking in a giant circle underneath the city. If I had stuck to the surface, I could have used landmarks like the CN Tower to navigate myself, but you don't have that luxury when you're underground (and I was too stubborn to give up on my quest of making it back). And those who are looking for assistance from the denizens of the underground will quickly learn that they mainly stay in the PATH. Thus, they may not know how to get to where you want to go as they only know the route to get to where they need to be.
So, a tip for future visitors to Toronto that want to try out the underground... Take the map with you! Trust me on this, you'll save yourself a lot of headaches while getting to traverse the city in relative comfort.
Maybe Canadians Aren't That Smart
There's a great website out there called An American's Guide to Canada with cute little factoids observed by an American who moved up to Canada. One of her observations that I didn't fully grasp is that milk in Canada comes in plastic bags. I was thinking like single servings come in small bags like a Capri-Sun. I imagined little Canadian children at lunch fruitlessly punching at their pouch of milk with their crummy little plastic straws. But no, THEY SELL REGULAR MILK CARTONS IN PLASTIC BAGS! It was just so weird that I had to take a picture in the local grocery store. I had to like pick it up and survey it just to figure out the logistics of why it was deemed a preferable method of holding milk than, say, something that won't pop when you throw it in your cart. Now, I'm guessing that this is done to cut back on waste, as in order to use it you have to use a reusable plastic milk pitcher but there has to be a better way. Maybe they're just that far ahead of us Americans that they look at the plastic jugs that we use in astonishment.
They're Also Just As Likely to Blow A News Story Out of Proportion
Well, here in the Bay Area, we have the story of hottie teacher Debra Lafave having an illicit tryst with one of her students... In Canada the story of Karla Homolka. In just the couple of days that I was up there, I think I pretty much understand the story. About 15 years or so ago, Karla was married to a guy named Paul Bernardo, a dude who got his rocks off by raping and torturing young women before killing them. While wife Karla was not indicted with being involved in any of the murders, she isn't exactly an innocent party. It's said that she knew exactly what was going on, and even offered up her own sister by drugging her and giving her to Paul as a type of gift. In all, three women including Karla's sister, were murdered and Bernardo has been locked up for the rest of his life.
However, the Canadian media has jumped all over the story of Karla's upcoming release and the Ontario government's attempts to insure that she's not released unrestrained on the general population. Since the courtrooms were closed to the media, news reports showed countless photographers chasing after the prison van carrying the blonde-haired convict (probably another reason why the nation is so enraptured with the case, she was a very beautiful woman). Reports of her narcissim and her manipulative nature were front page news in all of the Toronto dailies, and things blew up when news of a prison library liaison with a fellow inmate, a guy who was convicted of strangling his ex-girlfriend who had just dumped him, was released.
Watching the news on CityTV Wednesday night, almost half of the entire newscast was reports on the Homolka case. They had news from the Quebec courtroom, interviews with protesters, a trip to Karla's hometown to get the reaction of locals, and any other bit of information they could milk out of the case.
Visit to Canada's Wonderland
One of the main things that I wanted to do was visit Parmount Canada's Wonderland, which is said to be home to the most roller coasters in Canada. The newest attraction at Canada's Wonderland is a new coaster based on the film The Italian Job called... Well, The Italian Job Stunt Track (pic). After waiting in line for about 45 minutes just for the ride to open, luckily the wait once it opened was relatively short (especially in comparison to the wait times throughout the day). In all, The Italian Job was kind of quick, but a cute little ride. Coming from Universal, I'm used to their massive coasters like the Incredible Hulk and Dueling Dragons. Definitely, none of the attractions at Canada's Wonderland comes close to these two awesome rides, but there were a lot of great rides. The Mighty Canadian Minebuster is probably the roughest wooden coaster I've ever been on, and while I only could stand going on it once, it was probably one of the coolest. A ride, that if it were a little bit longer would probably rate as my favorite inverted coaster over Dragons and Busch Gardens' Montu, was Top Gun. And a lot of love to theming an attraction after a movie that's nearly twenty years old. The Tomb Raider "flying" coaster was cool, but not as intense as Superman Ultimate Flight at Six Flags Over Georgia which was awesome. Plus, that there appeared to be dog crap right beneath you at the point that you go face-down was kind of gross. Luckily you were already a few feet up at that point so it wasn't like your face was going to rub in it.
Of course, me being as lame as I am, my favorite attraction wasn't one of the coasters... No, it was the SpongeBob Squarepants 3-D movie. Obviously, the attraction isn't meant to be there long-term, so it doesn't have any of the in-theater elements like at Universal's Shrek 4-D. However, the motion of the seats is more along the lines of Jimmy Neutron or the old Hanna-Barbera ride (if we're doing Universal comparisons). If only they had put a little more theming and more elements into it, it probably would have topped both of those in my opinion.
And that, I guess, is the thing at Universal and the other major Florida theme parks that you don't appreciate until you go to other parks. When you get into the line at say Jaws, you're supposedly immersed entirely into life in Amity Village which was the site of the movie. You enter the line, the TVs show the faux-TV show Good Day Amity on TV station WJWS, if you get stuck out in the extended queue, they have the radio station WJAW with Amity billboards. The queue building is made to look like a building on a fisherman's wharf with various fishing equipment and even some props from the film. It's, as we would say, a total experience from once you enter the line until you get off the ride. That kind of stuff is missing from places like Canada's Wonderland. Having never seen the movie The Italian Job, I couldn't really appreciate the elements of the attraction (like, if it's called The Italian Job, why are you racing around LA?). Each queue ran the same in-house video with various ads (Friday nights on the Family Channel and Lords of Dogtown, which I don't think even is a Paramount movie, and videos ran CONSTANTLY) don't really get you pumped for the ride. I know that these places are from a different era of theme parks, but it really does make you appreciate what goes into the new attractions here.
Anyways, I loved Canada's Wonderland... I wish that my legs weren't hurting from the journey through the PATH from the day before, or that I didn't want to go to the free night at the Royal Ontario Museum, to have gotten to spend more time there. I was wanting to go on an old school coaster called The Bat which took riders backwards and forwards over the same track, but as it could only run one cycle at a time, the line for it was long throughout the day.
Scott Thompson -- Gay Icon
I guess with the start of June being Gay Pride Month, last Wednesday Canadian television network launched their newest reality program My Fabulous Gay Wedding with host, former Kids In the Hall troupe member, Scott Thompson on the Global Network. I think Scott's pretty much found a niche for himself... Anything having to do with gay men, he seems to pop up. Hey, nothing wrong with that.
What made watching the show funny for me is the fact that my hotel, which is really a college dorm that leases rooms out during the summer, did not have television sets in the room. Like in a college dorm, there was a common room that had a television. Normally, I'd be in there all by myself, but halfway through the show, someone actually came in and sat down to watch TV with me. I'm about as straight a guy as can be, but I thought that it was funny that I was sitting there watching a gay marriage show with another guy. Can only imagine what type of impression that I made on him.
Anyways, the show was Queer Eye if the guys made over each other and got married at the end. I think I actually saw the first week's couple, Rob and Greg, at a dog festival I attended on Saturday. Anyways, Scott was barely in it but acted as the show's narrator (and would pop up on screen with cards showing how many more days to the wedding) as the future spouses go through the motions of having their weddings planned for them by a crew of wedding experts. The show is supposed to be carried as one of the inaugural programs for Viacom's gay-centric network Logo, but I haven't seen much on that channel in a while. It was supposed to launch in February, but it didn't and now the Viacom website makes no mention of them.
Other Things That I Got to Do
Weirdest Marketing Campaign
While up there, I was reading one of the smaller dailies, Dose, when I run across an ad for a Canadian convenience store called Mac's. The ad was for their version of the Slurpee called the Froster. Mac's has introduced a new flavor called... the Bloody Zit! Mmm... But if that hasn't gotten your taste buds salivating, the ad (which I also saw in a larger version on a bus stop) has a Froster cup sitting on what appears to be a surgery table with blood and puss splattered behind it. Delicious! To add to it, though I didn't get the opportunity to see it, there apparently is a television ad campaign where two teenage lovers who have "acne problems" see zits bleeding on each other, and lick them.
Now see, as a marketing grad I know that this is just brilliant. This extreme imagery is the only reason why I even noticed it, and of course as the corporate tool that I am, I checked out the Mac's across the street from my hotel to try it out. But, they went just a little too far in the theming department. To get myself to enjoy a beverage called a "Bloddy Zit" would have been hard enough, but once you get to the store they have sprinkle-on flavors that you may add with names such as the "Oily Blackhead". That just made the mental imagery too gross, and I ended up getting a Pepsi Froster. But see, it did enough to get me into the store, and that's a success in the advertising world.
But, if any of my massive legions of Canadian readers have tried the Bloody Zit, feel free to contact me here at AOwL.com to tell me what flavor it is.
Getting Around... Getting Lost!
Being a cold-weather climate, Torontonians take advantage of a massive underground city in their downtown area linked by tunnels called the PATH. Being the first week of warm-weather temperatures in the area, and not wanting to deal with the huslte-and-bustle of traffic on the surface, I chose to utilize the PATH to get around the city as often as I could. Lets just say, I probably could have used a GPS to navigate my way through the labyrinth of tunnels underneath the city. First, maps are few and far between, and don't mark where you are. So, once you're lucky enough to find a map, you have to run back to find a sign somewhere that tells you what building you're under. Then, you have to try and memorize the trail of buildings that you'll need to follow to get to your intended destination because you don't know when you'll find another map. Plus, each time you access a new building, you enter its food court and retail area which usually looks exactly like the one you just left, making you think that you're walking in circles.
The saddest example of this in my case was getting from the CBC building to Toronto city hall, which was the end of the PATH and next door to my hotel. The trip was about 10-15 blocks, so not right around the corner but not that far. If I would have stuck to the surface streets, it probably would have taken me about 20-30 minutes to make the trip. It took me nearly three hours! I ended up going in the complete opposite direction as I ended up walking in a giant circle underneath the city. If I had stuck to the surface, I could have used landmarks like the CN Tower to navigate myself, but you don't have that luxury when you're underground (and I was too stubborn to give up on my quest of making it back). And those who are looking for assistance from the denizens of the underground will quickly learn that they mainly stay in the PATH. Thus, they may not know how to get to where you want to go as they only know the route to get to where they need to be.
So, a tip for future visitors to Toronto that want to try out the underground... Take the map with you! Trust me on this, you'll save yourself a lot of headaches while getting to traverse the city in relative comfort.
Maybe Canadians Aren't That Smart
There's a great website out there called An American's Guide to Canada with cute little factoids observed by an American who moved up to Canada. One of her observations that I didn't fully grasp is that milk in Canada comes in plastic bags. I was thinking like single servings come in small bags like a Capri-Sun. I imagined little Canadian children at lunch fruitlessly punching at their pouch of milk with their crummy little plastic straws. But no, THEY SELL REGULAR MILK CARTONS IN PLASTIC BAGS! It was just so weird that I had to take a picture in the local grocery store. I had to like pick it up and survey it just to figure out the logistics of why it was deemed a preferable method of holding milk than, say, something that won't pop when you throw it in your cart. Now, I'm guessing that this is done to cut back on waste, as in order to use it you have to use a reusable plastic milk pitcher but there has to be a better way. Maybe they're just that far ahead of us Americans that they look at the plastic jugs that we use in astonishment.
They're Also Just As Likely to Blow A News Story Out of Proportion
Well, here in the Bay Area, we have the story of hottie teacher Debra Lafave having an illicit tryst with one of her students... In Canada the story of Karla Homolka. In just the couple of days that I was up there, I think I pretty much understand the story. About 15 years or so ago, Karla was married to a guy named Paul Bernardo, a dude who got his rocks off by raping and torturing young women before killing them. While wife Karla was not indicted with being involved in any of the murders, she isn't exactly an innocent party. It's said that she knew exactly what was going on, and even offered up her own sister by drugging her and giving her to Paul as a type of gift. In all, three women including Karla's sister, were murdered and Bernardo has been locked up for the rest of his life.
However, the Canadian media has jumped all over the story of Karla's upcoming release and the Ontario government's attempts to insure that she's not released unrestrained on the general population. Since the courtrooms were closed to the media, news reports showed countless photographers chasing after the prison van carrying the blonde-haired convict (probably another reason why the nation is so enraptured with the case, she was a very beautiful woman). Reports of her narcissim and her manipulative nature were front page news in all of the Toronto dailies, and things blew up when news of a prison library liaison with a fellow inmate, a guy who was convicted of strangling his ex-girlfriend who had just dumped him, was released.
Watching the news on CityTV Wednesday night, almost half of the entire newscast was reports on the Homolka case. They had news from the Quebec courtroom, interviews with protesters, a trip to Karla's hometown to get the reaction of locals, and any other bit of information they could milk out of the case.
Visit to Canada's Wonderland
One of the main things that I wanted to do was visit Parmount Canada's Wonderland, which is said to be home to the most roller coasters in Canada. The newest attraction at Canada's Wonderland is a new coaster based on the film The Italian Job called... Well, The Italian Job Stunt Track (pic). After waiting in line for about 45 minutes just for the ride to open, luckily the wait once it opened was relatively short (especially in comparison to the wait times throughout the day). In all, The Italian Job was kind of quick, but a cute little ride. Coming from Universal, I'm used to their massive coasters like the Incredible Hulk and Dueling Dragons. Definitely, none of the attractions at Canada's Wonderland comes close to these two awesome rides, but there were a lot of great rides. The Mighty Canadian Minebuster is probably the roughest wooden coaster I've ever been on, and while I only could stand going on it once, it was probably one of the coolest. A ride, that if it were a little bit longer would probably rate as my favorite inverted coaster over Dragons and Busch Gardens' Montu, was Top Gun. And a lot of love to theming an attraction after a movie that's nearly twenty years old. The Tomb Raider "flying" coaster was cool, but not as intense as Superman Ultimate Flight at Six Flags Over Georgia which was awesome. Plus, that there appeared to be dog crap right beneath you at the point that you go face-down was kind of gross. Luckily you were already a few feet up at that point so it wasn't like your face was going to rub in it.
Of course, me being as lame as I am, my favorite attraction wasn't one of the coasters... No, it was the SpongeBob Squarepants 3-D movie. Obviously, the attraction isn't meant to be there long-term, so it doesn't have any of the in-theater elements like at Universal's Shrek 4-D. However, the motion of the seats is more along the lines of Jimmy Neutron or the old Hanna-Barbera ride (if we're doing Universal comparisons). If only they had put a little more theming and more elements into it, it probably would have topped both of those in my opinion.
And that, I guess, is the thing at Universal and the other major Florida theme parks that you don't appreciate until you go to other parks. When you get into the line at say Jaws, you're supposedly immersed entirely into life in Amity Village which was the site of the movie. You enter the line, the TVs show the faux-TV show Good Day Amity on TV station WJWS, if you get stuck out in the extended queue, they have the radio station WJAW with Amity billboards. The queue building is made to look like a building on a fisherman's wharf with various fishing equipment and even some props from the film. It's, as we would say, a total experience from once you enter the line until you get off the ride. That kind of stuff is missing from places like Canada's Wonderland. Having never seen the movie The Italian Job, I couldn't really appreciate the elements of the attraction (like, if it's called The Italian Job, why are you racing around LA?). Each queue ran the same in-house video with various ads (Friday nights on the Family Channel and Lords of Dogtown, which I don't think even is a Paramount movie, and videos ran CONSTANTLY) don't really get you pumped for the ride. I know that these places are from a different era of theme parks, but it really does make you appreciate what goes into the new attractions here.
Anyways, I loved Canada's Wonderland... I wish that my legs weren't hurting from the journey through the PATH from the day before, or that I didn't want to go to the free night at the Royal Ontario Museum, to have gotten to spend more time there. I was wanting to go on an old school coaster called The Bat which took riders backwards and forwards over the same track, but as it could only run one cycle at a time, the line for it was long throughout the day.
Scott Thompson -- Gay Icon
I guess with the start of June being Gay Pride Month, last Wednesday Canadian television network launched their newest reality program My Fabulous Gay Wedding with host, former Kids In the Hall troupe member, Scott Thompson on the Global Network. I think Scott's pretty much found a niche for himself... Anything having to do with gay men, he seems to pop up. Hey, nothing wrong with that.
What made watching the show funny for me is the fact that my hotel, which is really a college dorm that leases rooms out during the summer, did not have television sets in the room. Like in a college dorm, there was a common room that had a television. Normally, I'd be in there all by myself, but halfway through the show, someone actually came in and sat down to watch TV with me. I'm about as straight a guy as can be, but I thought that it was funny that I was sitting there watching a gay marriage show with another guy. Can only imagine what type of impression that I made on him.
Anyways, the show was Queer Eye if the guys made over each other and got married at the end. I think I actually saw the first week's couple, Rob and Greg, at a dog festival I attended on Saturday. Anyways, Scott was barely in it but acted as the show's narrator (and would pop up on screen with cards showing how many more days to the wedding) as the future spouses go through the motions of having their weddings planned for them by a crew of wedding experts. The show is supposed to be carried as one of the inaugural programs for Viacom's gay-centric network Logo, but I haven't seen much on that channel in a while. It was supposed to launch in February, but it didn't and now the Viacom website makes no mention of them.
Other Things That I Got to Do
- Hang out at the top of the CN Tower: an obvious must if you're visiting the city (pic 1, pic 2, pic 3)
- Visited the Steam Whistle Brewery: located in a really cool old-fashioned building just next to the CN Tower, they were giving out free samples and it was really, really good. I'm not a beer connosieur per se, but I know what I like. (pic 1, pic 2, pic 3) It also had a great piece of art that I just don't understand why it's not hanging in a museum somewhere.
- Got to see the Stanley Cup at the Hockey Hall of Fame: makes you wonder what some of those guys in the "Legends" room think of what's happening to their sport now (pic 1, pic 2, pic 3)
- Visited the grandest palace in the game of hockey, Maple Leaf Gardens: really, something needs to be done to preserve this place. I had heard that a local grocery store chain was considering buying it and putting one of their stores in there, but opted not to partially due to public outrage. But right now, it's just an empty building and it's almost depressing to see it in the state it's in.
- Got to see the current homes of Toronto sports, the Air Canada Centre (pic) and the Rogers Centre (formerly SkyDome - pic): it killed me because I had found online that the last tours of the ACC were on May 31st, the day I got into town. Then, on Saturday at 4, I found a posting on their website stating that they were still offering tours through the end of June! So I missed out on my chance to visit the Leafs locker room.
- Visited the CBC Museum: kind of a waste of time, as it's really small and doesn't really offer much. I was thinking that there would be like a room dedicated to The Kids In the Hall or something. Nope, nada... But I did get to see the original trolley from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood which apparently started out as a Canadian television show.
- Attended Woofstock, a dog festival in the Distillery District: a lot of fun as the place was just crammed with people and dogs. (pic 1, pic 2, pic 3)
- Flying home on WestJet Airlines: well, WestJet is the equivalent to JetBlue airlines over here, with more legroom and TVs built into the headrests. As a TV junkie, I was totally looking forward to watching TV on my way back to Orlando, but for most of the flight the TVs didn't work. And, when they did, I couldn't really get the channels I wanted. So, I ended up finally getting to see Desparate Housewives... Only I had to watch it in French. But if anything can possibly make Eva Longoria hotter, it's hearing her with a French voiceover. C'est magnifique!
- Since I was so lazy that I wouldn't go out some nights, I did get to check out some cool stuff on TV. Besides Scott Thompson's reality show, I also got to see The Story of the Beastie Boys and Britney Spears: Live From Miami, which was from her Onyx Hotel Tour which they feature on her reality show, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, on MuchMusic. I swear, I know people who have paid to see certain "shows" in New Orleans that don't get to see as much action as you could see at a Britney concert. Damn!
- Another show I got to watch (see, I keep telling you people I'm lazy!) was this Dancing With the Stars, which in Canada comes on CTV (here in the States it comes on ABC). At first, I had no idea what it was other than just a ballroom dancing show, but what caught my eye as I was flipping channels was this large guy gliding across the floor who looked exactly like boxer Evander Holyfield. Of course, it ends up that he really is Evander Holyfield. While I definitely like seeing him more on the dance floor than in the ring (where you can't help but worry over him), how many cool points do you lose by being seen on national television ballroom dancing? Just asking.
- Also, while watching TV, I got to see Canadian crooner Paul Anka, who was in town promoting his new album and was going to be inducted in the Canadian Entertainers Hall of Fame or something. Anyways, on his new album he remakes modern rock songs into big band and swing songs. He was on the news signing a skat version of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit, and it was really cool! Don't know how Kurt would have felt about it if he were still alive, but I liked it.
Things I Missed Out On
- I got to walk through the Entertainment District, but there wasn't really anything going on at the time that I wanted to check out. But, there were plenty of cool little bars and shops to visit that I saw.
- CityTV: well, I got to check out the news on City, but Friday nights on the channel are great. The first time I visited Toronto, I was flipping channels and came across this sock puppet smoking a cigar and swearing like a sailor. Something you never see in "the States". This was my first encounter with Ed the Sock whose show runs on Friday nights. He formerly had a show on MuchMusic USA before they changed the format to make Fuse. In addition, I could have totally embrassed all that makes me a wannabe Canadian as, on regular over-the-air television, they air Skinemax-style soft-core porn on Friday nights as part of their Baby Blue 2 series. I love that their website pretty much admits to the fact that they originally began airing these shows back when the channel first started out as a way to generate publicity for itself... And it worked! But, I was way too tired to make it that late on Friday, so I missed out on both.
- Reservoir Bitches: what sounded pretty funny, it was a play running at The Pilot which was an adaptation of Reservoir Dogs if it was played by women. Where being Mr. Pink would not be considered an insult (well, probably Ms. Pink wouldn't be an insult). Unfortunately, my lazy butt and my aching legs refused to let me get the ten blocks to see the play.
Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy
Man, I saw so many gorgeous women while I was up in Toronto that it wasn't even funny. I actually started taking pictures to post for you, but the first day I had taken up so much space on my camera's data card that I started to delete them so I could take other pictures. So, ladies of Toronto, it's a good thing that I don't live up there... And that I'm so lazy, or you'd be in trouble.
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