Gunfight at the Wild West Stadium

This evening, while waiting for the early showing of this year’s Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure during Halloween Horror Nights, I pondered… In the old Wild West Stadium at Universal Studios Florida, which show has had more performances: The original Wild Wild Wild West Stunt Show, its successor – Fear Factor Live, or the HHN annual tribute to pop culture – Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure. So here’s my very unscientifically scientific analysis (and yes, that's a play on the line from Rocky Horror - you're quite observant):

The Champion: The Wild Wild Wild West Stunt Show

Opened: July 4, 1991
Closed: September 1, 2003

Traditionally, WWWWest was closed during September & October each year for Bill & Ted’s. So, assume 4 shows per day, 10 months per year, for 12 years.

4 x 30 x 10 x 12 = 14,400 performances

The Upstart: Fear Factor Live

Opened: June 3, 2005

While Fear Factor Live still exists, it has been a seasonal show since February 2009 – only operating during Spring Break, Summer rush, and over the Holidays. So, we’ll have to take that into account.

2005-2009: Again assuming 4 shows per day, 10 months per year for just over 3 1/2 years.

4 x 30 x 10 x 3.5 = 4,200 performances

2009-Present: As stated, the show now operates seasonally. We’ll say that the show runs for 10 weeks per year for the last 2 years.

4 x 7 x 10 x 2 = 560 performances

So, the estimate for FFL is 4,760 performances.

The Underdog: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure

Opened: HHN II (2001)

By far, the hardest to figure out. The number of HHN event nights has changed over the years, and Bill & Ted’s held at the Toon Lagoon Stage in Island's of Adventure for HHN XII until HHN XVI. So we’ll break it down by year, again assuming 4 shows per night.

HHN II (5 nights): 4 x 5 = 20
HHN III (5 nights): 4 x 5 = 20
HHN IV (5 nights): 4 x 5 = 20
HHN V (12 nights): 4 x 12 = 48
HHN VI (15 nights): 4 x 15 = 60
HHN VII (18 nights): 4 x 18 = 72
HHN VIII (19 nights): 4 x 19 = 76
HHN IX (19 nights): 4 x 19 = 76
HHN X (19 nights): 4 x 19 = 76
HHN XI (19 nights): 4 x 19 = 76
HHN XVI (19 nights): 4 x 19 = 76
HHN XVII (22 nights): 4 x 22 = 88
HHN XVIII (23 nights): 4 x 23 = 92
HHN XIX (23 nights): 4 x 23 = 92
HHN XX (24 nights): 4 x 24 = 96
HHN XXI (25 nights): 4 x 25 = 100

Add them up and you get 1,088 performances.

Results

While I figured that WWWWest would win hands-down in this analysis, I really thought that Bill & Ted’s would be closer or even ahead of Fear Factor Live considering FF’s brief run. But the early years of HHN, with just a few nights each year, dampened B&T’s numbers. While I realize that each of the three shows had days where there were more performances and some days with less, considering the disparity in the data it’s unlikely there would be any change.

Our Winner: The Wild Wild Wild West Stunt Show

Review: Star Tours - The Adventure Continues

Note: This is a review of the Orlando version of the attraction, though I imagine it's likely identical at the other parks. And pictures would have been great for this review, but as they don't want to reveal much leading up to the grand opening, pictures inside the building are prohibited.

After being closed for several months for renovation, Star Tours re-opened over the weekend for "flight testing" leading up to the official grand opening this weekend, coinciding with Disney Hollywood Studios' annual Star Wars Weekends.

The original Disneyland version of Star Tours opened in 1987 and was imported to Orlando, relatively unchanged, in 1989. Created more than a decade prior to Episode I, it focused on a rebel assault on a Death Star similar to the finale of the original Star Wars (I could do a complete nerd rage post on why I refuse to call the original film Episode IV). The renovation, then, was not just to modernize a 20 year-old ride but to update the attraction with elements taken from the prequel trilogy.

Queue

The exterior queue, and for the most part the first room (the maintenance bay with R2-D2 and C-3PO) remain relatively unchanged. The most noticeable update is to the video screen on the far wall, updated to show the new "tours" being offered. 3PO, still in his same spot, will comment on the tours while occasionally yelling at R2 for his incompetence. You then enter the second room, formerly the a droid maintenance facility, which is now a luggage & cargo inspection area. For a cute shout-out to the original attraction, look immediately to the left as you enter this room. The new area now features two new droids: a luggage inspector (really cool & funny scene) and a security guard you could liken to a TSA agent. Also keep an eye on the window into the terminal in the corner of the room.

While the actual preshow room is virtually unchanged, the preshow video obviously is different. Like in the original, you view a live feed of your Speeder being prepared for your journey with the customary safety spiel.

Ride

So before you board you'll notice the first difference, the need to pick-up a pair of 3-D "flight glasses". Which leads me to my first, well complaint's not the right word for it, but the 3-D doesn't add much of anything to the experience. Muppet-Vision next door, an attraction which just celebrated its 20th anniversary, makes better use of 3-D. It's there and it works but if it wasn't there I think you'd feel the same coming off the ride. As most know by now, the "tour" you take is supposed to be different with each ride. I believe a cast member said there are roughly 50 different possible iterations. (To dispel a rumor I had heard during the renovation, you do not get to pick the scenes you'll be experiencing, Horizons-style.) After an opening encounter, which I believe is the same for everyone, the ride breaks into 3 different segments which changes each ride: 2 action scenes and a finale. Which brings me to my second... I'll go with concern. If you're just an average tourist with limited exposure to the Star Wars universe (like someone who would recognize Luke Skywalker but can't name off-hand what planet he's from), you'll likely enjoy the ride's "story". If you not only can name Tatooine but also the output of moisture vaporators, the storyline will likely confuse you. Because the different segments are independent, it's hard to nail down when in the Star Wars continuity this supposedly takes place. The opening scene I mentioned is definitely in the "original trilogy"-era with stormtroopers, TIE fighters, and Star Destroyers. But after that it can vary. On my second ride-through, we went from the Battle of Hoth from the beginning of 'Empire Strikes Back' to a battle over the planet Geonosis, likely an homage to the end of 'Attack of the Clones'. In addition, the Geonosis scene has a couple other major continuity issues that I won'g spoil but will definitely baffle a Star Wars fan.

Finally is the actual movement of the ride. The original version, the first mainstream flight-simulator, was a fairly intense action ride. Obviously not as extreme as a roller-coaster, there were instances where it'd toss you around and shake you a bit. But the new generation ride is toned down quite a bit. If the original was akin to the Back to the Future/The Simpsons Ride at Universal Studios, the new one is closer to EPCOT's Soarin'. The lightspeed jumps are probably the most extreme parts while the actual "action" scenes were relatively tame.

Conclusion

While definitely worth a ride, it didn't live up to the build-up that it's receiving on the Internet. I did go on it twice last night, but not because it was such a great ride, more because I wanted to see if the experience changed significantly based on the scenes you go through (it does, but it didn't seem like the scenes make the ride any calmer or rougher) and the line was only 10 minutes because Fantasmic! was just starting. So yea, not to disappoint, but I found it kinda meh. Nothing wrong with it but nothing overly great. This original type of motion simulator style ride is growing kind of stale, and really the only cool aspect of this ride is the different scenes you can go through. Still, I had fun both times I rode and would recommend to anyone to give it a shot.

Who Marvel Should Have Killed Off…

For the three of you who will actually read this post, if you have any interest in the current Fantastic Four storyline, please wait to read this until after you read the current issue.  As one of the people who had the ending spoiled for me on Tuesday, I don’t want to be the one who ruins it for someone else.  And, to those of you who started tweeting & blogging who died on Tuesday, knowing full well that most of us couldn’t get our hands on a copy until Wednesday, I’d just like to say:  FUCK YOU!

---

The Fantastic Four was never a comic I read a lot as a kid.  However, as a person who grew up on Spidey & Hulk comics, I was obviously aware of Marvel’s “first family”.  Two of my favorite villains, Dr. Doom & Galactus, are spawned from their pages.  However, I always thought the FF were lame and cheesy.  It took the start of their current run Three, where it was announced at the beginning that one of the four would die, to actually get me to buy my first issue.

However, leading into the event, it was becoming evident who WASN’T going to die.  The Thing is currently a New Avenger, so killing him off in one title would mean he’d have to die in the other (at least you’d home Marvel wouldn’t create such a huge continuity hole).  Meanwhile, during the run, Mr. Fantastic popped in the Avengers title as a member of the Illuminati, which already featured a plot point where one of its members has died.  So we’re left with the Storm siblings:  Johnny & Susan.

While one is a seemingly ancillary character, the other is a linchpin of the series.  Would Marvel take it safe or return to their “dropping Gwen Stacey from a bridge” roots?  Indicative of current-gen Marvel, consisting of mostly tired and uninspiring stories, the poor Human Torch is no more.  Even worse, Marvel didn’t even give Johnny a creative exit!  It was an Aerosmith song away from the ending of Armageddon.

 

Had Marvel wanted to create a compelling storyline that would keep me interested in the Fantastic Four now that I know who dies, it was the Invisible Woman who should have perished.  Really, what are the ramifications of losing Johnny?  Sue mourns the loss of her brother, Thing and Spider-Man are bummed about losing their friend, Reed shows 10 minutes of concern before he’s distracted by his next project, and random hot New York chicks miss out on Johnny making “flame on this” jokes.

 

But imagine the lingering affect losing Susan would have merely on the other inhabitants of the Baxter Building’s penthouse:

• Reed and the Kids:  on the Slacker & the Man podcast last Father’s Day, Reed was ranked as one of the worst dad's in geekdom.  He’s as much of an absent father as a guy who works from home can be.  How would a guy whose brain runs a mile a second be able to slow down not only to cope with the loss of his wife but also help his two children mourn the death of their mother?
• Johnny:  as far as I remember, Johnny & Sue’s mother died when they were kids and their father went to jail for killing a guy in self-defense.  So Sue has always had to act as a surrogate mother to Johnny.  Heck, she’s the reason why he’s the Human Torch to begin with!  How does Johnny react to losing pretty much the only family he’s ever known (well, other than his niece and nephew)?

• Ben:  his response would probably be the most heart-breaking.  Odd, since he’s the only one who’s not related to Susan.  However, as overly-protective and big-hearted as The Thing is, he would likely take Sue’s death as some sort of shortcoming on his part and his response could go in several directions.

And that would be the effect on just the other members of the Fantastic Four…  How would the arrogant Namor react had he been responsible for the death of the woman he desired?  Since Susan was generally the only one able to talk sense into Dr. Doom (she just did in a recent issue of the somewhat off-kilter retelling of the Infinity Gauntlet story)…  How would his dealing with the Fantastic Four change?  In addition, he was also known to have a thing for Sue.  It’s easy to see a side story where, once he finds out Namor’s responsible for her death, Doom leads the armies of Latveria in an attack on Atlantis.

 

Instead, we lose the Human Torch (at least for the brief period of time they decide to keep him dead).  At least his funeral issue should be more entertaining than that shitty one they did for Sentry last year.  Meanwhile, Marvel’s a fan of doing the “What if?” one-shots, so I can see them doing one where Sue dies instead.  But, by the time it’s published, no one will care and as a one-shot there wouldn’t be time to truly flesh-out how losing Susan affects the family, the team, and the Marvel Universe as a whole.

 

Note to Marvel:  Other than Spider-Man, your storylines lately have been crap.  I followed Dark Reign expecting for it to turn into some socio-political commentary on living in a police state led by an egomaniacal madmen.  Instead, it was just a bad guys-playing-good guys story that you’ve done better in Thunderbolts.  Siege, even at 4 issues, seemed long because it just didn’t seem to matter.  Quit focusing on the Films Division and get back to your core.  Maybe you wouldn’t have to fish for amateurs to write a screenplay for one of your secondary characters if you had decent plots in the comics to draw from.