Yeah, to both of my faithful readers, I've moved AOwL.com to a new location. It's been moved from the free realm of Blogger to the other free realm of MSN Spaces. You can now find AOwL.com at http://spaces.msn.com/members/aowl/.
December 27, 2004
December 18, 2004
Bye-Bye VC
Well, underneath the radar of the Major League Baseball Hot Stove, Vince Carter finally got his wish to leave Toronto and is headed to the Jersey swamplands to play with J-Kidd and the Nets. This winter is not going to be pretty for my adpoted hometown up in the Great White North. Vince making a break for the bright lights of Asbury Park, Carlos Delgado looking to leave the Blue Jays for a job south of the border, and not a Maple Leafs game in sight any time soon. Hey, you've always got that indoor lacrosse team the Toronto Rock to look forward to.
But, I hope that Vince does well out in Jersey. As a fellow hometown boy from Daytona Beach (I used to know Vince's brother through a mutual friend, and my aunt was his banker), Vince has done much for the community. A matter of fact, he footed the bill for a new athletic complex at his alma-mater Mainland High School. So, he's a good guy, even though it was evident that he wasn't playing at the same level this year as he has in the last few.
A Note of Thanks to DirecTV
Man, that was close. At the beginning of the current basketball season, it was announced that the Orlando Magic had signed a deal with local Tampa Bay station WXPX, our local PAX affiliate. Two seasons ago, our local baseball team the Tampa Bay Devil Rays signed a similar agreement to air on PAX. However, DirecTV didn't carry our local affiliate as they provided the national feed to the network (and who wants to watch that?). I had written to them twice about picking it up, but to no avail.
I switched to DirecTV when our local cable conglomerate BrightHouse Networks dropped the cable provider of the Orlando Magic, the Sunshine Network, in a contract dispute. I'm a man who needs to see my Magic! Not being able to see half the D-Rays games for a couple seasons... Sucks, but I can get over it. But not the Magic. So, I was pricing the switch back to cable this week planning to go through with it after the holidays (the BrightHouse/Sunshine dispute was resolved last year) when, last night, I was flipping channels and noticed "Hey, we get channel 66 now!" So, my love affair with DirecTV continues meaning that I get to keep dating the hottest chick in school instead of having to go with the backup plan of the ugly girl who'll put out.
And DirecTV/D-Rays fans here in the Tampa Bay area, you may send me your thanks and praise for getting us those games in care of AOwL.com. Now, since CNNfn shut down this week, lets see if we can get them to switch it for the Anime Network!
Some Love for Maxim Radio
Starting this week, Sirius Radio started the gradual rollout of their newest station Maxim Radio. The station is a joint venture between Sirius and Maxim Magazine. And so far, even just being on the air for about seven hours a day, it has become my favorite station on the service. Pretty much, just like the magazine, it's strategically aimed at guys. The station provides a great mix of popular music, inane DJ banter, comedy sketches, and more. I won't give it my full endorsement until I get a chance to hear the full schedule (the channel is supposed to go on the air full-time the week of the Super Bowl), but so far it's worth a listen if you're on the service.
But, I hope that Vince does well out in Jersey. As a fellow hometown boy from Daytona Beach (I used to know Vince's brother through a mutual friend, and my aunt was his banker), Vince has done much for the community. A matter of fact, he footed the bill for a new athletic complex at his alma-mater Mainland High School. So, he's a good guy, even though it was evident that he wasn't playing at the same level this year as he has in the last few.
A Note of Thanks to DirecTV
Man, that was close. At the beginning of the current basketball season, it was announced that the Orlando Magic had signed a deal with local Tampa Bay station WXPX, our local PAX affiliate. Two seasons ago, our local baseball team the Tampa Bay Devil Rays signed a similar agreement to air on PAX. However, DirecTV didn't carry our local affiliate as they provided the national feed to the network (and who wants to watch that?). I had written to them twice about picking it up, but to no avail.
I switched to DirecTV when our local cable conglomerate BrightHouse Networks dropped the cable provider of the Orlando Magic, the Sunshine Network, in a contract dispute. I'm a man who needs to see my Magic! Not being able to see half the D-Rays games for a couple seasons... Sucks, but I can get over it. But not the Magic. So, I was pricing the switch back to cable this week planning to go through with it after the holidays (the BrightHouse/Sunshine dispute was resolved last year) when, last night, I was flipping channels and noticed "Hey, we get channel 66 now!" So, my love affair with DirecTV continues meaning that I get to keep dating the hottest chick in school instead of having to go with the backup plan of the ugly girl who'll put out.
And DirecTV/D-Rays fans here in the Tampa Bay area, you may send me your thanks and praise for getting us those games in care of AOwL.com. Now, since CNNfn shut down this week, lets see if we can get them to switch it for the Anime Network!
Some Love for Maxim Radio
Starting this week, Sirius Radio started the gradual rollout of their newest station Maxim Radio. The station is a joint venture between Sirius and Maxim Magazine. And so far, even just being on the air for about seven hours a day, it has become my favorite station on the service. Pretty much, just like the magazine, it's strategically aimed at guys. The station provides a great mix of popular music, inane DJ banter, comedy sketches, and more. I won't give it my full endorsement until I get a chance to hear the full schedule (the channel is supposed to go on the air full-time the week of the Super Bowl), but so far it's worth a listen if you're on the service.
December 17, 2004
The Last Blog of 2004
And not a moment too soon, I tells ya! Nah, just kidding, but I wish I had a job like some of the DJs I've been listening to so far this morning. It sounds like everybody in the world gets the last two weeks of the year off but me. That's pretty plush.
More of What I Do Best... Watch TV
Well, it's fair to say that I am always willing to forgive those of their mistakes. For minor transgressions, I can find it in my heart to give you a second chance. That's why, last night, I fired up the Tivo to watch the SpikeTV 2004 Video Game Awards. As I mentioned in a posting from November 8th, the 2003 edition of the VGAs was probably the most nonsensical undertaking in modern television history. Nobody really knew what was going on, and the awards were secondary to all the other lame events they had set up.
Which brings us to this year's festivities, which got off to a similar start. The show was kicked off with a cute skit between Snoop Dogg and Tiger Woods, and then devolved into a 10 minute long shameless plug for the game Def Jam: Fight For NY, a wrestling game featuring several rap stars. What I thought was just going to be a quick song by rapper Ludacris turned into some hip-hop West Side Story with dancing street thugs duking it out in the audience. I was just waiting for DMX to come out singing "I Feel Pretty (the Puff Daddy Remix ft. Little John)"
DMX: "I feel prettyyyy..."
Little John: "Oookkayyyyyy!!!"
DMX: "Oh so prettyyyy..."
Puff Daddy: "Uh-huh, yeah."
DMX: "I feel pretty, and witty, and gayyyy."
Little John: "WHAT?!?!?!"
Sorry, I loved that joke while I was thinking it up. This year's edition was at least easier for viewers to follow. The traditional awards show format of a presenter coming out and announcing the nominees prior to the winners (except for certain categories which got the "Before the Show" type awards) at least let people understand what was being awarded unlike last year's "ambush" awarding where even the people who won weren't expecting it.
But, this still was pretty bad. Snoop as the host... Well he doesn't do too well in scripted comedy. When he was the guest host on Jimmy Kimmel Live last year, his best moments were sitting on the couch ripping on the guests. When they tried to use him in a sketch, it was just abysmal (except for the Snoop Garage Sale, which was classic). The presenters looked as if they were unexectedly thrust on stage to read inane banter from a cue card. The people who won the awards didn't seem to know where or when they were supposed to get up to accept their monkey trophies. Unlike last year, which was a full-on Amtrak style train wreck, this show was just a slight derailment.
One thing I have to say, maybe for next year, is that maybe let a game gain a foothold before you nominate it for an award that's supposed to cover the previous year. Out of the five "Game of the Year" nominees; Halo 2, Half-Life 2, and Metal Gear Solid 3 had come out just last month. Two of those hadn't even been released when they announced the nominations, and Halo 2 had only been out for a couple of days. Just a thought.
Grand Owl: BMOC
The other show I watched last night (as I said, I'm usually about a day behind when it comes to TV), was the Wednesday night premier of the new WB reality show BMOC - Big Man on Campus. Boy, oh boy... As a guy who used to frequent the University of Central Florida campus in Orlando to go use their library while I attended a nearby community college, I can definitely tell you that the university is not exactly Babe Central (for that, you have to check out the preppy private school hunnies over at Rollins College). But, no offense ladies, but couldn't they have found at least ONE! UCF is the third largest university in the state with nearly 40,000 students, and while none are ugly, there's none that are great. But who am I to complain?
The premise is a college version of The Bachelor, and this initial episode followed that of its sister series as the ladies scoured the campus for their knight in shining armor. Of course, they have to go with the OVERLY dramatic when, while preparing for a house party, one girl accidently cuts another with a kitchen knife. So, they show the paramedics coming in for a cut that only appeared to be about an inch or so while the girl who did it is sobbing in the bathroom! The other girls in the house make it sound like she tried to carve her up Norman Bates-style. I got worse scrapes from falling off my big wheel (yes, it is possible).
The show will probably hold my attention for at least this season, as I love watching shows or movies from Orlando so I can play "I Spy" with local landmarks (I sat through "Earnest Saves Christmas" a couple of weeks ago simply because so many scenes were shot at the old Orlando Science Center). One last comment I've gotta make, of the final six candidates for BMOC, three of them were marketing majors because... lets face it... marketing majors are HOT!!!
More of What I Do Best... Watch TV
Well, it's fair to say that I am always willing to forgive those of their mistakes. For minor transgressions, I can find it in my heart to give you a second chance. That's why, last night, I fired up the Tivo to watch the SpikeTV 2004 Video Game Awards. As I mentioned in a posting from November 8th, the 2003 edition of the VGAs was probably the most nonsensical undertaking in modern television history. Nobody really knew what was going on, and the awards were secondary to all the other lame events they had set up.
Which brings us to this year's festivities, which got off to a similar start. The show was kicked off with a cute skit between Snoop Dogg and Tiger Woods, and then devolved into a 10 minute long shameless plug for the game Def Jam: Fight For NY, a wrestling game featuring several rap stars. What I thought was just going to be a quick song by rapper Ludacris turned into some hip-hop West Side Story with dancing street thugs duking it out in the audience. I was just waiting for DMX to come out singing "I Feel Pretty (the Puff Daddy Remix ft. Little John)"
DMX: "I feel prettyyyy..."
Little John: "Oookkayyyyyy!!!"
DMX: "Oh so prettyyyy..."
Puff Daddy: "Uh-huh, yeah."
DMX: "I feel pretty, and witty, and gayyyy."
Little John: "WHAT?!?!?!"
Sorry, I loved that joke while I was thinking it up. This year's edition was at least easier for viewers to follow. The traditional awards show format of a presenter coming out and announcing the nominees prior to the winners (except for certain categories which got the "Before the Show" type awards) at least let people understand what was being awarded unlike last year's "ambush" awarding where even the people who won weren't expecting it.
But, this still was pretty bad. Snoop as the host... Well he doesn't do too well in scripted comedy. When he was the guest host on Jimmy Kimmel Live last year, his best moments were sitting on the couch ripping on the guests. When they tried to use him in a sketch, it was just abysmal (except for the Snoop Garage Sale, which was classic). The presenters looked as if they were unexectedly thrust on stage to read inane banter from a cue card. The people who won the awards didn't seem to know where or when they were supposed to get up to accept their monkey trophies. Unlike last year, which was a full-on Amtrak style train wreck, this show was just a slight derailment.
One thing I have to say, maybe for next year, is that maybe let a game gain a foothold before you nominate it for an award that's supposed to cover the previous year. Out of the five "Game of the Year" nominees; Halo 2, Half-Life 2, and Metal Gear Solid 3 had come out just last month. Two of those hadn't even been released when they announced the nominations, and Halo 2 had only been out for a couple of days. Just a thought.
Grand Owl: BMOC
The other show I watched last night (as I said, I'm usually about a day behind when it comes to TV), was the Wednesday night premier of the new WB reality show BMOC - Big Man on Campus. Boy, oh boy... As a guy who used to frequent the University of Central Florida campus in Orlando to go use their library while I attended a nearby community college, I can definitely tell you that the university is not exactly Babe Central (for that, you have to check out the preppy private school hunnies over at Rollins College). But, no offense ladies, but couldn't they have found at least ONE! UCF is the third largest university in the state with nearly 40,000 students, and while none are ugly, there's none that are great. But who am I to complain?
The premise is a college version of The Bachelor, and this initial episode followed that of its sister series as the ladies scoured the campus for their knight in shining armor. Of course, they have to go with the OVERLY dramatic when, while preparing for a house party, one girl accidently cuts another with a kitchen knife. So, they show the paramedics coming in for a cut that only appeared to be about an inch or so while the girl who did it is sobbing in the bathroom! The other girls in the house make it sound like she tried to carve her up Norman Bates-style. I got worse scrapes from falling off my big wheel (yes, it is possible).
The show will probably hold my attention for at least this season, as I love watching shows or movies from Orlando so I can play "I Spy" with local landmarks (I sat through "Earnest Saves Christmas" a couple of weeks ago simply because so many scenes were shot at the old Orlando Science Center). One last comment I've gotta make, of the final six candidates for BMOC, three of them were marketing majors because... lets face it... marketing majors are HOT!!!
December 15, 2004
As the World Spins Outta Control
Hello all! Finally, we're getting a little Winterlike weather here in the Sunshine State. Woke up this morning to a beautiful 38-degree day. As usual here in Florida, whenever the temperature drops below 40 it's the lead story on the local news. Reporters are camped out at local gardens, farms, and nursuries showing how they're going to deal with the chilly temperatures. I think, at least I hope, that even the average Floridian knows how to take care of their plants when it gets cold, and that it's probably not a good idea to leave Fido outside overnight. Maybe that's just having too much confidence in general common sense.
TV is Great!
Well, I had just a hugely-cheesy weekend this weekend, and what better way to heap huge helpings of cheese then watching made-for-cable movies. Sunday, with the Bucs playing in the afternoon and the Bears game not on TV, I settled in to two basic cable movies off of the Tivo: ESPN's Dale Earnhardt biopic "3" and the TNT action-adventure spoof "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear."
"3", like most biopics, chooses to combine huge moments in a public figure's life to save time. Thus, things seem to happen too conveniently to be real. As in one scene where Dale meets future wife Teresa on the same day as his first Winston Cup race which is also the same day that he meets who would become his future boss. In another, the infamous black 3 car is revealed in a press conference where Dale reunites with his estranged son. But, for the most part, ESPN does a good job with their biopics. I had no clue that Bear Bryant even coached at Texas A&M when I watched their take on "The Junction Boys" and the Pete Rose take in "Hustle" was entertaining, even if both suffer from the same faults. The acting, though, was incredible. Barry Pepper had Earnhardt's look and mannerisms down. Chad McCumbee as Dale Jr. and Greg Thompson as Darrell Waltrip were also incredible in their portrayals, nearly identical to the real-life people they were playing. While the ending, with Dale rising to heaven to meet his deceased father outside a textile mill was WAY over the top, I think the image of the final lap of the Daytona 500, with the FOX Sports commentary was the most poignant as you hear the voice of long-time rival Darrell Waltrip, whose brother just won his first NASCAR race in the sport's biggest event, is desperate for a sign that Dale's OK. I'd also like to point out, as a Darrell Waltrip fan when he was a racer, that Darrell has put up an excellent response to the movie on his website AllWaltrip.com. Yes people, I'm a NASCAR fan. Sorry to disappoint, but I grew up in Daytona Beach where it's pretty much mandatory.
On the flip-side from the unintentional cheese of "3" was the farcical TNT movie "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear". Pretty much, The Librarian is a spoof of the Indiana Jones series, with Noah Wyle playing the lead as a bumbling bookworm who's appointed to the task of protecting some of the world's greatest treasures. The movie's low on production values, a script filled with lame jokes, and REALLY bad acting, and yet it still is OK because you know that nobody's taking this seriously. Of course, it was also helped by Kelly Hu looking hot and falling for the nerdy Noah. The best scene, by far, is a fight scene between an evil group called the Serpent Brotherhood and BOB NEWHART! Honestly, this is a movie to watch if your bored with friends and want to do your own Mystery Science Theater 3000, but to a movie that gets the joke as well.
Some other great stuff on TV recently is the CourtTV/Sundance Channel short-series "The First Amendment Project", which are special features documenting court cases challenging the rights of Americans to the First Amendment; Bravo's history of Christmas specials creatively titled "The Christmas Special Christmas Special", and... Well this show deserves it's own topic...
The Return of High School Reunion
One of the funniest/saddest shows in the realm of reality TV made its return last week, and I couldn't be happier. It's the WB series "High School Reunion" where they take members of a graduating high school class and hold their 10-year reunion over a week in a Hawaiian mansion. This show is a human car wreck, and I'm just a happy rubbernecker driving by. First off, I can hardly remember more than ten people from my high school days. There was my group of friends; Aaron, Mike, Rob, Brian, Shaun, and Paul; and there was the girl I had a crush on Kelly. That's about it. These people not only remember each other, they have long standing grudges over miniscule events that occurred over a decade ago! I can't remember stuff I did ten days ago, let alone some guy who wants to kick my ass because I cut in front of him in the lunchline my sophomore year in high school.
Another great element of "High School Reunion" is how they give these people these tags like "The Jock", "The Cheerleader", "The Class Clown", like they're still exactly like they were ten years ago. Then, they totally live up to it. I guess it's true that we don't change as much as we think we do. This year's breakout star is Jamie "The Obsessed Ex", who is stalking her ex Gianni "The Basketball Star". As the story goes, Jamie and Gianni were a high school item, pretty much to the chagrin of Gianni himself. He couldn't talk with another member of the fairer sex without going psychotic, apparently cracking his windshield when she spotted him talking with another girl. While in high school, Gianni was enchanted with another member of his class "The Dream Girl" Loretta, but never had the opportunity to ask her out. Last night, Gianni got his "dream date" with Loretta and they had a little sleepover. Of course, they hook you in before a commercial break with Jamie tearing the house apart looking for them the following morning. Just great drama/unintentional comedy.
Random Thoughts
TV is Great!
Well, I had just a hugely-cheesy weekend this weekend, and what better way to heap huge helpings of cheese then watching made-for-cable movies. Sunday, with the Bucs playing in the afternoon and the Bears game not on TV, I settled in to two basic cable movies off of the Tivo: ESPN's Dale Earnhardt biopic "3" and the TNT action-adventure spoof "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear."
"3", like most biopics, chooses to combine huge moments in a public figure's life to save time. Thus, things seem to happen too conveniently to be real. As in one scene where Dale meets future wife Teresa on the same day as his first Winston Cup race which is also the same day that he meets who would become his future boss. In another, the infamous black 3 car is revealed in a press conference where Dale reunites with his estranged son. But, for the most part, ESPN does a good job with their biopics. I had no clue that Bear Bryant even coached at Texas A&M when I watched their take on "The Junction Boys" and the Pete Rose take in "Hustle" was entertaining, even if both suffer from the same faults. The acting, though, was incredible. Barry Pepper had Earnhardt's look and mannerisms down. Chad McCumbee as Dale Jr. and Greg Thompson as Darrell Waltrip were also incredible in their portrayals, nearly identical to the real-life people they were playing. While the ending, with Dale rising to heaven to meet his deceased father outside a textile mill was WAY over the top, I think the image of the final lap of the Daytona 500, with the FOX Sports commentary was the most poignant as you hear the voice of long-time rival Darrell Waltrip, whose brother just won his first NASCAR race in the sport's biggest event, is desperate for a sign that Dale's OK. I'd also like to point out, as a Darrell Waltrip fan when he was a racer, that Darrell has put up an excellent response to the movie on his website AllWaltrip.com. Yes people, I'm a NASCAR fan. Sorry to disappoint, but I grew up in Daytona Beach where it's pretty much mandatory.
On the flip-side from the unintentional cheese of "3" was the farcical TNT movie "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear". Pretty much, The Librarian is a spoof of the Indiana Jones series, with Noah Wyle playing the lead as a bumbling bookworm who's appointed to the task of protecting some of the world's greatest treasures. The movie's low on production values, a script filled with lame jokes, and REALLY bad acting, and yet it still is OK because you know that nobody's taking this seriously. Of course, it was also helped by Kelly Hu looking hot and falling for the nerdy Noah. The best scene, by far, is a fight scene between an evil group called the Serpent Brotherhood and BOB NEWHART! Honestly, this is a movie to watch if your bored with friends and want to do your own Mystery Science Theater 3000, but to a movie that gets the joke as well.
Some other great stuff on TV recently is the CourtTV/Sundance Channel short-series "The First Amendment Project", which are special features documenting court cases challenging the rights of Americans to the First Amendment; Bravo's history of Christmas specials creatively titled "The Christmas Special Christmas Special", and... Well this show deserves it's own topic...
The Return of High School Reunion
One of the funniest/saddest shows in the realm of reality TV made its return last week, and I couldn't be happier. It's the WB series "High School Reunion" where they take members of a graduating high school class and hold their 10-year reunion over a week in a Hawaiian mansion. This show is a human car wreck, and I'm just a happy rubbernecker driving by. First off, I can hardly remember more than ten people from my high school days. There was my group of friends; Aaron, Mike, Rob, Brian, Shaun, and Paul; and there was the girl I had a crush on Kelly. That's about it. These people not only remember each other, they have long standing grudges over miniscule events that occurred over a decade ago! I can't remember stuff I did ten days ago, let alone some guy who wants to kick my ass because I cut in front of him in the lunchline my sophomore year in high school.
Another great element of "High School Reunion" is how they give these people these tags like "The Jock", "The Cheerleader", "The Class Clown", like they're still exactly like they were ten years ago. Then, they totally live up to it. I guess it's true that we don't change as much as we think we do. This year's breakout star is Jamie "The Obsessed Ex", who is stalking her ex Gianni "The Basketball Star". As the story goes, Jamie and Gianni were a high school item, pretty much to the chagrin of Gianni himself. He couldn't talk with another member of the fairer sex without going psychotic, apparently cracking his windshield when she spotted him talking with another girl. While in high school, Gianni was enchanted with another member of his class "The Dream Girl" Loretta, but never had the opportunity to ask her out. Last night, Gianni got his "dream date" with Loretta and they had a little sleepover. Of course, they hook you in before a commercial break with Jamie tearing the house apart looking for them the following morning. Just great drama/unintentional comedy.
Random Thoughts
- We're going with another twofer to make up for the Women I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy, but not because they're underage. More because I've been too lazy to even write the dumb column. But these two beauties would definitely be worthy of my stalking resources should I ever be motivated to use them and would make a great combination. This week's "lucky" ladies are the CNN Headline News duo of morning anchor Robin Meade and evening anchor Sophia Choi. Both are incredibly beautiful, smart (or at least play it well on TV), and funny. So, as usual, if you ladies want to save me the effort of attempting to stalk you, feel free to write me in care of AOwL.com.
- While flipping channels last night, I came across the New Orleans Bowl on ESPN between North Texas and Southern Mississippi. The game was such an attractive draw that it appeared that the upper two levels of the Superdome were closed off and that there were still plenty of tickets available in the lower levels if you wanted to go. Of course, nobody cared much for the game, so the five minutes I spent watching were used by the commentators to draw up their dream college football playoff scenario. That got me to thinking (which, as you know, hurts my head), it's because people watch meaningless matchups like this that we're never going to get a meaningful playoff. Hell, I don't think the average football fan could locate the campuses of either school on a map (and some probably wouldn't even get the state right). But because people are willing to watch them on TV or travel to attend games, networks will keep on shelling out cash and cities will continue jockeying to start their own. So, there needs to be a fan strike! People, these games are the football equivalent of the basketball NIT Tournament, there's no point! So don't watch. If your team's in a bowl game, so what?! I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to see my Noles play West Virginia in the Gator Bowl. If people aren't willing to shell out cash to attend or even to bother watching on TV, the bowls will have less money to spend to attract teams. If college presidents see their cash cow headed for the slaughterhouse, they'll probably be more willing to turn to the Golden Goose of having a high profile home game with ticket revenues partially split with their opponents. A playoff will definitely attract the interest of networks who will shell out plenty to get exclusive coverage (CBS is paying the NCAA $6 billion for coverage of the men's basketball tournament). So, college football fans, make your New Year's Resolution early... DON'T WATCH BOWL GAMES! This has been a paid message provided by AOwL.com.
December 08, 2004
Hey Howdy, Buckaroo!
Boy, you have to be an old-schooler from Orlando to get that reference. If not, that was the intro from the now defunct Ranger Bob Cartoon Show on TV-63 back in the late-80s. It's kind of sad, because now the kids get the Cowboy Bob & Buster Show on local TV. What makes that sad are that "Cowboy Bob & Buster" are cartoon spokesman for a local group of car dealerships. Indoctrinate them while they're young I guess.
Are You In the Christmas Spirit Yet???
Wow, so far here in the Sunshine State we've had a whopping ONE DAY of semi-cool weather. Hopefully, the weatherman is saying that another cold front will be coming through the area tomorrow and cooler temperatures will come back over the weekend. But this is Florida, where cooler temperatures means highs in the low-60s. Brrrr....
But it's time for my favorite thing about Christmas... I'm talking, of course, about absurd car ads that make it seem like common practice that people buy $40,000 luxury automobiles as gifts for each other. There was a great little segment in this week's *tbt (that's the Tampa Bay Times for you unhip readers out there). But really, if there's any incredibly hot women out there who normally buy their boyfriends BMWs as Christmas presents, please send a picture and what you're willing to buy me in care of AOwL.com.
But I'm just a big kid at heart, so my favorite part of the season is watching the old Christmas specials of my childhood. With my Tivo player, I've been able to get most of them but I've noticed something. The Christmas specials that usually would air over a week or so are now just repeating endlessly on several stations. The classic Grinch will be airing on the WB, the Cartoon Network, and TBS. I mean, I love it but it's becoming over-saturated.
Are You In the Christmas Spirit Yet???
Wow, so far here in the Sunshine State we've had a whopping ONE DAY of semi-cool weather. Hopefully, the weatherman is saying that another cold front will be coming through the area tomorrow and cooler temperatures will come back over the weekend. But this is Florida, where cooler temperatures means highs in the low-60s. Brrrr....
But it's time for my favorite thing about Christmas... I'm talking, of course, about absurd car ads that make it seem like common practice that people buy $40,000 luxury automobiles as gifts for each other. There was a great little segment in this week's *tbt (that's the Tampa Bay Times for you unhip readers out there). But really, if there's any incredibly hot women out there who normally buy their boyfriends BMWs as Christmas presents, please send a picture and what you're willing to buy me in care of AOwL.com.
But I'm just a big kid at heart, so my favorite part of the season is watching the old Christmas specials of my childhood. With my Tivo player, I've been able to get most of them but I've noticed something. The Christmas specials that usually would air over a week or so are now just repeating endlessly on several stations. The classic Grinch will be airing on the WB, the Cartoon Network, and TBS. I mean, I love it but it's becoming over-saturated.
December 06, 2004
"With Your 'T' Formation"
Man, I'm running out of lines to the Bears fight song to quote for the Monday following a Bears victory. I have to say that I feel like a traitor. I was listening to the Sirius NFL Radio channel yesterday morning while doing some errands, when one of their experts announced that his upset pick was the Bears over the Vikings. Of course, after doing my general Bears rant whenever someone says anything good about them, I started laughing at how dumb a pick that was. I mean, the Bears were starting the umpteenth quarterback this year, and are one more injury away from the return of Jeff George. The Vikes are needing a win to stay up with Green Bay for the division. But hey, a win's a win, and I'm psyched for Chad Hutchinson. Unlike the recent games of Craig Krenzel, Chad actually lead the offense to some scores other than leaving that to the defense.
Movie Review
National Treasure
**** (out of five stars)
As usual, I'm always running a little behind when it comes to anything. So, this weekend I finally took in the Nick Cage action movie, National Treasure. The film pretty much takes advantage of the DaVinci Code phenomenon by putting a patriotic twist to the story of the Knights Templar. Here's one thing that I don't get... The first twenty minutes of the movie is spent trying to find the clue that leads to a mythical treasure map and them trying to decipher where the map is. Anyone who has seen any commercial for the film knows that it's supposedly on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Just seems like time wasted.
Pretty much, if you've ever seen any other Nicholas Cage/Jerry Bruckheimer collaboration, you pretty much know how the storyline's going to go. Unfortunately, it lacks the action of a planeful of convicts, a chemical warhead on Alcatraz, or switching faces with John Travolta. But, if you go in just expecting a mindless action movie, you can enjoy the typical car chase, showdowns, and all the other typical action movie scenes.
Movie Review
National Treasure
**** (out of five stars)
As usual, I'm always running a little behind when it comes to anything. So, this weekend I finally took in the Nick Cage action movie, National Treasure. The film pretty much takes advantage of the DaVinci Code phenomenon by putting a patriotic twist to the story of the Knights Templar. Here's one thing that I don't get... The first twenty minutes of the movie is spent trying to find the clue that leads to a mythical treasure map and them trying to decipher where the map is. Anyone who has seen any commercial for the film knows that it's supposedly on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Just seems like time wasted.
Pretty much, if you've ever seen any other Nicholas Cage/Jerry Bruckheimer collaboration, you pretty much know how the storyline's going to go. Unfortunately, it lacks the action of a planeful of convicts, a chemical warhead on Alcatraz, or switching faces with John Travolta. But, if you go in just expecting a mindless action movie, you can enjoy the typical car chase, showdowns, and all the other typical action movie scenes.
December 04, 2004
Radio, "Sirius"-ly
Well, for one of my Christmas presents (I love this new tradition for me over the last couple of years where I get my Christmas presents on Thanksgiving), I got the Sirius satellite radio system. It's funny, because the main reason that I wanted it was to get the Howard Stern Show when he moves over to Sirius in January 2006. Not only did I get a year jump on Howard, but I don't really even listen to him that much to begin with. I may watch his show occassionally on E! if I'm up that late. My commute is only about five to ten minutes in the morning, so I can often go my entire drive during one of his commercial breaks (which happens at least once a week), and the local radio station that he comes on here doesn't come in at my desk in my office.
But, I just got to say how incredible having satellite radio is! I really just wanted it to listen to in my office since the electrical interference by all of the computers there blocks out most radio stations, leaving just the all-'80s and the classic rock stations. Sirius comes in great, and I really don't sit near a window. In addition, there's just so much choice. I'm not the type of person who flips channels, but if there's a song on one radio station that I don't like I can just sit on a channel guide section that Sirius offers to see if there's one that I like on another station. In addition, Sirius has exclusive contracts with the NBA, NFL, and NHL (not that it really matters right now) to broadcast all games. I was able to tune in to the Magic/Knicks game that didn't air locally here in the Tampa Bay area. With the NFL, in addition to a full-time channel dedicated to NFL coverage, they also air the local broadcast of each game. So, if you live say... In Tampa Bay... And want to hear the Bears broadcast from Chicago, it's no problem. They have music from just about every genre, talk stations about pretty much anything, news broadcasts from CNN, CNBC, Fox News, the Weather Channel, and more. If you live in a major metropolitan area, you can even get your local weather and traffic reports every four minutes.
I guess, as you can see, I highly recommend it. I, personally, chose Sirius. XM is just as good, with their recent contract with Major League Baseball to air all of their games and contracts with some collegiate conferences including the ACC for sports content.
If you're fed up with the FCC yanking anything that may possibly entertain you on radio, make it as generic and lame as network television, satellite radio is really going to be your only outlet. But it is a great alternative, and if you're really into music, totally worth the extra $10-$13/month.
By the way, to people at Sirius, I just plugged you big time to both of the people who read my blog. So feel free to kick some free stuff my way, in care of AOwL.com.
But, I just got to say how incredible having satellite radio is! I really just wanted it to listen to in my office since the electrical interference by all of the computers there blocks out most radio stations, leaving just the all-'80s and the classic rock stations. Sirius comes in great, and I really don't sit near a window. In addition, there's just so much choice. I'm not the type of person who flips channels, but if there's a song on one radio station that I don't like I can just sit on a channel guide section that Sirius offers to see if there's one that I like on another station. In addition, Sirius has exclusive contracts with the NBA, NFL, and NHL (not that it really matters right now) to broadcast all games. I was able to tune in to the Magic/Knicks game that didn't air locally here in the Tampa Bay area. With the NFL, in addition to a full-time channel dedicated to NFL coverage, they also air the local broadcast of each game. So, if you live say... In Tampa Bay... And want to hear the Bears broadcast from Chicago, it's no problem. They have music from just about every genre, talk stations about pretty much anything, news broadcasts from CNN, CNBC, Fox News, the Weather Channel, and more. If you live in a major metropolitan area, you can even get your local weather and traffic reports every four minutes.
I guess, as you can see, I highly recommend it. I, personally, chose Sirius. XM is just as good, with their recent contract with Major League Baseball to air all of their games and contracts with some collegiate conferences including the ACC for sports content.
If you're fed up with the FCC yanking anything that may possibly entertain you on radio, make it as generic and lame as network television, satellite radio is really going to be your only outlet. But it is a great alternative, and if you're really into music, totally worth the extra $10-$13/month.
By the way, to people at Sirius, I just plugged you big time to both of the people who read my blog. So feel free to kick some free stuff my way, in care of AOwL.com.
December 03, 2004
Where, or where, has my Grand Owl gone?!
Wow, I didn't realize that it's been quite so long since I last made a post. I'll fill you in, though, I've been working undercover for the Disney Corp. See, they needed a little boost for their television stations, so I worked with them to generate some publicity. So, I was the one who pulled the towel off Nicollette Sheridan in the Monday Night Football promo with Terrell Owens. I was also the one who threw the cup in the Palace of Auburn Hills at Ron Artest causing the Pistons-Palace Brawl. And I was the one that told Barry Bonds' trainer that the rub-on steroids were really flaxseed oil, even though I have no clue what flaxseed oil is. I just thought it sounded good. What can I say, I do good work as ratings on SportsCenter are on the rise and Desperate Housewives and Monday Night Football were on the tip of everyone's tongues.
I Fought the Jock and the Jock Won
I want to make a little comment on the fight at the Palace, even though I realize that it's about two weeks old and people are really sick of hearing about it. Here's my only take... Lets just face it - people are jerks! I sadly, have been just as bad in abusing athletes (though not to the point of throwing stuff at them; if I'm paying $7 for a beer I'm sure as hell drinking it). I remember going to a hockey preseason game last year between the Lightning and Blue Jackets where I spent the first period screaming "baby killer" at Espen Knutsen. Knutsen, if you don't remember, was the hockey player who had one of his slapshots deflected into the stands killing a 10 year-old girl. And frankly, I didn't have anything to drink, I was just being an ass.
We all know that Ron Artest isn't 100% there (probably in the mid-40% range), but it's not like he was just running into the crowd for no reason. He had been provoked, and while the actions of Stephen Jackson are more inexcusable, these players form a strong bond and if I see one of my brothers fighting for his life, I sure as hell would go in there and defend them.
So, can anything be done? Well, while the other three professional leagues pretend to take the high ground, each has a blemish when it comes to fan/player altercations. True, the NFL has about eight foot walls that seperate the fans from the action. But does that keep fans off the field in college football from tearing down the goal posts? How about in Cleveland and New York where fans threw objects (from snowballs to bottles) onto the field? And we've seen Packers players make the "Lambeau Leap" into the stands in Green Bay, so what makes you think they wouldn't make a more insidious leap should they be pelted with a foreign object. Or how about baseball? While they have security throughout the stands of a stadium including along the field lines, that didn't stop Milton Bradley from throwing a bullpen chair into the crowd at Dodgers Stadium or the Dumb & Dumber father-son duo in Chicago from lynching that Royals coach. And who can forget the dumb fan who tried to jump Toronto Maple Leaf Tie Domi while he was in the penalty box in Philadelphia. So, what can be done? Well, apparently high walls, tall plexiglass, and security along the basepaths haven't worked 100% of the time. But, luckily, these are still the exception to the rule. We still don't have to have police in riot gear patrolling the stands as they do in European soccer matches, and I don't see it ever really coming to that in the States. So, prosecute the players as if they were in any bar brawl. Make sure that those responsible in the stands are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (yeah, banning them from the property... not really going to do any good), and lets move on.
And I said it was a "quick thought." Pssh, you should know better from me.
Ride Review
Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, I had the opportunity to put some mileage on my annual pass for the theme parks at Universal Orlando, taking in the three new attractions at my former stomping ground Universal Studios Florida. One day, I'll set up a specific website for ride reviews at the major theme parks in Orlando with some insider info from someone who worked in the parks for five years.
The Revenge of the Mummy
**** (out of five stars)
News of the Kongfrontation attraction closing had been spreading for years around Universal Studios Florida. But, I think it was the opening of the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at the Disney-MGM Studios which got the creative forces at Universal in gear. What they came up with is a great ride concept, even though it could have definitely come out as a better ride.
Universal refers to ROTM as a "psychological thrill ride." Really, since no old-school ride category fits the ROTM mold, I'll consider it a coaster-lite. It's part standard "look & point" ride where you run through several show scenes as a story plays out before you, part "roller coaster." But, if you're looking for a true coaster, you're going to find ROTM lacking. And if you're looking for a standard ride to relax and enjoy, ROTM might be too intense for you.
You'll enter through the Paramount Building to the left of the old Penn Station entrance where you entered Kongfrontation (it was formerly the JVC "Be A Star Experience", and later the Islands of Adventure Preview Center). The queue video is really funny, and it's recommended that you follow it as it'll help you understand some of the jokes for when you're actually on-board. You come to find out that you're on location with the cast and crew of the new Mummy sequel (not the old Boris Karloff in bandages movies of the '30s, but the Brendan Frasier movies of the late-'90s). Then, you'll enter the main building where you're immersed in an Egyptian archaelogical dig. Be careful, as the room is really dark and there are stairs (yes, I am clumsier than the average person and fell and hurt my ankle, but I did see some others trip over them as well).
Spoiler Alert (Don't read the next italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised)
Of course, you'll board your car out of the dig when the curse of the mummy's chamber is revealed and Imhotep begins taking souls to rebuild himself into the most powerful being on Earth. The early portions of the ride are, as I said before, the standard "look and point" as you travel through the Mummy's treasure chamber where you're "attacked" by the priest's guards (one of the lamest animatronic gimmicks in a modern ride, think of a spook house at a below average county fair). You narrowly escape their menace when you meet a dead-end, then from the walls, the flesh-eating scarabs from the films begin creeping in search of fresh meat. It's at this point where the ride starts to get good as you escape the beetles by plunging backwards onto a turntable as you prepare for the coaster portion. The coaster portion is fairly tame in comparison to Island of Adventure's Hulk and Dueling Dragons, but the excitement of having it in the dark enhances the experience. If you've been on MGM's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, the experience is similar except ROTM doesn't have (at least I don't remember it having) any inversions. A quick psych-out (making you think the ride's over when it's not) was a really cool touch.
The main problem that I have with ROTM is that the effects are on the cheesy side, and the ride is VERY short. The Roller Coaster Database clocks it at four minutes, but the majority of that time is the slow-moving "look & point" elements and not the coaster portion. The ride definitely has promise, and if Universal is smart they'll do a quick refurb to fix some of the elements and they'd definitely have a top draw ride for the Studios which definitely needs one.
Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast
**** (out of five stars)
With the diminishing appeal of the classic Hanna-Barbera characters among today's younger generations, Universal executives decided to dump the likes of Yogi Bear, Scooby-Doo, and The Jetsons for fresher cartoon stars when refurbishing the old Funtastic World of Hanna-Barbera attraction. Now, we have Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast featuring the animated stars of some of Nickelodeon's hit shows.
For those who loved the old Hanna ride, the Nicktoon Blast is pretty much the same thing. Instead of saving Elroy Jetson from the hands of Dick Dastardly, you're helping Jimmy Neutron "Boy Genius" (I tried to give myself the same nickname to limited success) protect the world, and more specifically the Nicktoon backlot, from alien invaders. The old rocket cars from Hanna are still there as well as the interactive area following the ride. Really, all they did was change the faces on-screen.
I LOVED the old Hanna ride, and while I was disappointed that the characters I remember from my childhood are gone, this ride still is a lot of fun and retains its place in my heart as one of my favorite attractions in the park.
Shrek 4-D
***** (out of five stars)
As you'll see when I do publish my full website of ride reviews, I don't give out five stars regularly. An attraction has to have great theming, a great concept, and follow through on that concept at a high level. No other attraction at Universal Studios Florida scores a five, and the only other attraction at the resort that scores a perfect mark is IOA's Spider-Man. But for an attraction that works on so many levels, entertaining kids, teens, and adults, a perfect score is more than deserved.
Shrek 4-D replaces the former Alfred Hitchcock exhibit, which is probably a disappointment to only the master's most hardcore fans. As you wind through the exterior queue you're reminded of how the original Shrek film ended with the mean green ogre falling in love with the beautiful princess Fiona and stopping her wedding to the incredibly evil (and incredibly short) Lord Farquaad. In true storybook fashion, the heroes live happily ever after as the wicked are vanquished. Or... so we think!
Once again... SPOILER ALERT! Don't read the italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised
When you reach the doors and are greeted with a hardy "Head inside, prisoner!" you know that not everything is serene in the land of Duloc. Apparently, while the physical being of Lord Farquaad was destroyed by the friendly dragon at the end of the first film, his spirit has returned to destroy Shrek and once-again take the hand of the princess. You're lead into a torture chamber where Farquaad has rounded up some of Shrek's storybook friends to find the location of the lovable ogre and his new wife. This is just the PRE-SHOW and you're already laughing in hysterics! Once he realizes that nobody's going to spill the beans, he's got no choice but to ELIMINATE YOU! Of course, the execution chamber is the main theater where the film plays out. The elements in the movie are similar to that of Muppetvision 4-D at Disney-MGM Studios, Honey, I Shrunk the Audience at EPCOT Center, and it's big sister Terminator 3-D where on-screen action meshes with elements within the theater and in your seats. I'll keep most of the film's elements to myself, but needless to say, if just the pre-show was hysterical, you can imagine how the movie is.
Just a note to parents of young children... Since you're dealing with the "ghost" of Lord Farquaad, some of the movie's scenes take place in areas that may be scary to small children. In addition, you have the option of forgoing the movies in-seat elements by using the stationary seats at the front of the theater (that's right, "stationary"... that's a hint as to what you'll experience).
The sense of humor of this ride definitely makes it one of the top attractions in Orlando, and definitely gets away with stuff that just wouldn't fly down at the House of Mouse. This attraction is highly recommended for anyone who just wants to sit-back, relax, and have a great time.
Random Thoughts
Well, this is where I'd put them, but I've already spent so much time on this that we'll just make them real quick...
I Fought the Jock and the Jock Won
I want to make a little comment on the fight at the Palace, even though I realize that it's about two weeks old and people are really sick of hearing about it. Here's my only take... Lets just face it - people are jerks! I sadly, have been just as bad in abusing athletes (though not to the point of throwing stuff at them; if I'm paying $7 for a beer I'm sure as hell drinking it). I remember going to a hockey preseason game last year between the Lightning and Blue Jackets where I spent the first period screaming "baby killer" at Espen Knutsen. Knutsen, if you don't remember, was the hockey player who had one of his slapshots deflected into the stands killing a 10 year-old girl. And frankly, I didn't have anything to drink, I was just being an ass.
We all know that Ron Artest isn't 100% there (probably in the mid-40% range), but it's not like he was just running into the crowd for no reason. He had been provoked, and while the actions of Stephen Jackson are more inexcusable, these players form a strong bond and if I see one of my brothers fighting for his life, I sure as hell would go in there and defend them.
So, can anything be done? Well, while the other three professional leagues pretend to take the high ground, each has a blemish when it comes to fan/player altercations. True, the NFL has about eight foot walls that seperate the fans from the action. But does that keep fans off the field in college football from tearing down the goal posts? How about in Cleveland and New York where fans threw objects (from snowballs to bottles) onto the field? And we've seen Packers players make the "Lambeau Leap" into the stands in Green Bay, so what makes you think they wouldn't make a more insidious leap should they be pelted with a foreign object. Or how about baseball? While they have security throughout the stands of a stadium including along the field lines, that didn't stop Milton Bradley from throwing a bullpen chair into the crowd at Dodgers Stadium or the Dumb & Dumber father-son duo in Chicago from lynching that Royals coach. And who can forget the dumb fan who tried to jump Toronto Maple Leaf Tie Domi while he was in the penalty box in Philadelphia. So, what can be done? Well, apparently high walls, tall plexiglass, and security along the basepaths haven't worked 100% of the time. But, luckily, these are still the exception to the rule. We still don't have to have police in riot gear patrolling the stands as they do in European soccer matches, and I don't see it ever really coming to that in the States. So, prosecute the players as if they were in any bar brawl. Make sure that those responsible in the stands are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (yeah, banning them from the property... not really going to do any good), and lets move on.
And I said it was a "quick thought." Pssh, you should know better from me.
Ride Review
Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, I had the opportunity to put some mileage on my annual pass for the theme parks at Universal Orlando, taking in the three new attractions at my former stomping ground Universal Studios Florida. One day, I'll set up a specific website for ride reviews at the major theme parks in Orlando with some insider info from someone who worked in the parks for five years.
The Revenge of the Mummy
**** (out of five stars)
News of the Kongfrontation attraction closing had been spreading for years around Universal Studios Florida. But, I think it was the opening of the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at the Disney-MGM Studios which got the creative forces at Universal in gear. What they came up with is a great ride concept, even though it could have definitely come out as a better ride.
Universal refers to ROTM as a "psychological thrill ride." Really, since no old-school ride category fits the ROTM mold, I'll consider it a coaster-lite. It's part standard "look & point" ride where you run through several show scenes as a story plays out before you, part "roller coaster." But, if you're looking for a true coaster, you're going to find ROTM lacking. And if you're looking for a standard ride to relax and enjoy, ROTM might be too intense for you.
You'll enter through the Paramount Building to the left of the old Penn Station entrance where you entered Kongfrontation (it was formerly the JVC "Be A Star Experience", and later the Islands of Adventure Preview Center). The queue video is really funny, and it's recommended that you follow it as it'll help you understand some of the jokes for when you're actually on-board. You come to find out that you're on location with the cast and crew of the new Mummy sequel (not the old Boris Karloff in bandages movies of the '30s, but the Brendan Frasier movies of the late-'90s). Then, you'll enter the main building where you're immersed in an Egyptian archaelogical dig. Be careful, as the room is really dark and there are stairs (yes, I am clumsier than the average person and fell and hurt my ankle, but I did see some others trip over them as well).
Spoiler Alert (Don't read the next italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised)
Of course, you'll board your car out of the dig when the curse of the mummy's chamber is revealed and Imhotep begins taking souls to rebuild himself into the most powerful being on Earth. The early portions of the ride are, as I said before, the standard "look and point" as you travel through the Mummy's treasure chamber where you're "attacked" by the priest's guards (one of the lamest animatronic gimmicks in a modern ride, think of a spook house at a below average county fair). You narrowly escape their menace when you meet a dead-end, then from the walls, the flesh-eating scarabs from the films begin creeping in search of fresh meat. It's at this point where the ride starts to get good as you escape the beetles by plunging backwards onto a turntable as you prepare for the coaster portion. The coaster portion is fairly tame in comparison to Island of Adventure's Hulk and Dueling Dragons, but the excitement of having it in the dark enhances the experience. If you've been on MGM's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, the experience is similar except ROTM doesn't have (at least I don't remember it having) any inversions. A quick psych-out (making you think the ride's over when it's not) was a really cool touch.
The main problem that I have with ROTM is that the effects are on the cheesy side, and the ride is VERY short. The Roller Coaster Database clocks it at four minutes, but the majority of that time is the slow-moving "look & point" elements and not the coaster portion. The ride definitely has promise, and if Universal is smart they'll do a quick refurb to fix some of the elements and they'd definitely have a top draw ride for the Studios which definitely needs one.
Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast
**** (out of five stars)
With the diminishing appeal of the classic Hanna-Barbera characters among today's younger generations, Universal executives decided to dump the likes of Yogi Bear, Scooby-Doo, and The Jetsons for fresher cartoon stars when refurbishing the old Funtastic World of Hanna-Barbera attraction. Now, we have Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast featuring the animated stars of some of Nickelodeon's hit shows.
For those who loved the old Hanna ride, the Nicktoon Blast is pretty much the same thing. Instead of saving Elroy Jetson from the hands of Dick Dastardly, you're helping Jimmy Neutron "Boy Genius" (I tried to give myself the same nickname to limited success) protect the world, and more specifically the Nicktoon backlot, from alien invaders. The old rocket cars from Hanna are still there as well as the interactive area following the ride. Really, all they did was change the faces on-screen.
I LOVED the old Hanna ride, and while I was disappointed that the characters I remember from my childhood are gone, this ride still is a lot of fun and retains its place in my heart as one of my favorite attractions in the park.
Shrek 4-D
***** (out of five stars)
As you'll see when I do publish my full website of ride reviews, I don't give out five stars regularly. An attraction has to have great theming, a great concept, and follow through on that concept at a high level. No other attraction at Universal Studios Florida scores a five, and the only other attraction at the resort that scores a perfect mark is IOA's Spider-Man. But for an attraction that works on so many levels, entertaining kids, teens, and adults, a perfect score is more than deserved.
Shrek 4-D replaces the former Alfred Hitchcock exhibit, which is probably a disappointment to only the master's most hardcore fans. As you wind through the exterior queue you're reminded of how the original Shrek film ended with the mean green ogre falling in love with the beautiful princess Fiona and stopping her wedding to the incredibly evil (and incredibly short) Lord Farquaad. In true storybook fashion, the heroes live happily ever after as the wicked are vanquished. Or... so we think!
Once again... SPOILER ALERT! Don't read the italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised
When you reach the doors and are greeted with a hardy "Head inside, prisoner!" you know that not everything is serene in the land of Duloc. Apparently, while the physical being of Lord Farquaad was destroyed by the friendly dragon at the end of the first film, his spirit has returned to destroy Shrek and once-again take the hand of the princess. You're lead into a torture chamber where Farquaad has rounded up some of Shrek's storybook friends to find the location of the lovable ogre and his new wife. This is just the PRE-SHOW and you're already laughing in hysterics! Once he realizes that nobody's going to spill the beans, he's got no choice but to ELIMINATE YOU! Of course, the execution chamber is the main theater where the film plays out. The elements in the movie are similar to that of Muppetvision 4-D at Disney-MGM Studios, Honey, I Shrunk the Audience at EPCOT Center, and it's big sister Terminator 3-D where on-screen action meshes with elements within the theater and in your seats. I'll keep most of the film's elements to myself, but needless to say, if just the pre-show was hysterical, you can imagine how the movie is.
Just a note to parents of young children... Since you're dealing with the "ghost" of Lord Farquaad, some of the movie's scenes take place in areas that may be scary to small children. In addition, you have the option of forgoing the movies in-seat elements by using the stationary seats at the front of the theater (that's right, "stationary"... that's a hint as to what you'll experience).
The sense of humor of this ride definitely makes it one of the top attractions in Orlando, and definitely gets away with stuff that just wouldn't fly down at the House of Mouse. This attraction is highly recommended for anyone who just wants to sit-back, relax, and have a great time.
Random Thoughts
Well, this is where I'd put them, but I've already spent so much time on this that we'll just make them real quick...
- Boy, at halftime of that USC/Notre Dame game, I really thought my Irish upset was going to happen. But, these last two season really shouldn't have cost Ty his job and I'm sure he's going to have success with another program in the near future.
- Hooters Restaurants yesterday lost a case in an Orlando court with restaurant chain Ker's WingHouse, who they accused of trademark infringement. While the restaurant's have similar theming, what finally brough Hooters to the courtroom against the WingHouse is that the chain's new stores in the Orlando and Daytona Beach areas are a huge success. Now, not only did they quest for a monopoly in the "breastaurant" industry backfire, it totally blew up in there face as they now owe the WingHouse $1.2 million in legal fees awarded by the jury.
- Give it up for my Orlando Magic, who are having a great start. After last year where we were waiting... And waiting... And waiting for the team to mesh together, this team just plays so well as a unit! They play for win #10 tonight in New York against the Knicks. They didn't reach that point last season until January 16th!
November 19, 2004
Quasi Near Brush With Death Experience
I'm in a weird mood today, something I haven't felt before. I get to work this morning and open up my newspaper (because where else should one read the newspaper) to see a front-page article on a double murder here in St. Petersburg. Unfortunately, the fact that two innocent people plus the gunman being dead isn't enough to disturb me... It was the time and place. At about 6 last night, after work, I made a quick run into our local Radio Shack to get a price on a wall-mounted DSL filter for my apartment. After seeing that just the basic ones were $10 more than I was willing to spend (and probably wouldn't have fit with my phone anyways), I ran over to Target to pick up some stuff before going home. Apparently, at 6:45, another gentleman walked in the store and opened fire for reasons not yet known.
It's makes you ponder the Butterfly Effect. How, what seem to be small decisions we make, can have such dramatically different circumstances. What if, as I had originally planned, had I run into the nearby Bealls or TJ Maxx stores or just gone to Target first before stopping off in Radio Shack. Ever get caught by a red light to see the car that was in front of you involved in an accident? (I have, once) Or really, just anything serious that had occurred that a slight change of circumstance may have involved you. Just creepy.
It's makes you ponder the Butterfly Effect. How, what seem to be small decisions we make, can have such dramatically different circumstances. What if, as I had originally planned, had I run into the nearby Bealls or TJ Maxx stores or just gone to Target first before stopping off in Radio Shack. Ever get caught by a red light to see the car that was in front of you involved in an accident? (I have, once) Or really, just anything serious that had occurred that a slight change of circumstance may have involved you. Just creepy.
November 18, 2004
$12.95/Month to Watch Commercials
While doing my daily scan of seemingly the endless amount of news on the Internet, I came across an article on USA Today's stating that Tivo, the digital video recorder used by millions to zip past commercials, will begin a new "service" in March that will pop-up an ad of its own when you try to skip through the commercials on a program. So, the people who pay $12.95/month (or in my case $300 for a lifetime contract) to use the service are now going to be subjected to advertising on top of it? Just like how premium services such as HBO and Showtime do not air ads in their programming, neither should a service like Tivo.
Already on Tivo, their "Showcases" option often downloads ads to be viewed if a user chooses. Sometimes, these can be cool such as a movie trailer or a preview of a network's new programs, but usually they're shameless self promotion to upgrade to a new Tivo model or to buy a recorder as a gift. The key is that you can view it if you want to! It's not forced upon you when you're using one of the features of the service that you're already paying for.
And what does this say to the television network execs? That while viewers watch programming that they produce but they opt to forgo the commercials, they're going to be subjected to a commercial from a totally unaffiliated third party that has contributed nothing to the process? Yeah, that's going to go over well with them.
Now, I'm not totally against advertising in all spaces that have recently popped up. Movie theaters showing ads prior to a feature, while I think is dumb, I don't find intrusive since it doesn't interfere with the feature itself (could you imagine movies going into a commercial break after a critical scene). Product placement, if done within the scope of the show, can be OK. Heck, on the now apparently defunct show Father of the Pride, half of one episode was shameless placement for 7-Eleven and was done so well that it turned out to be the funniest part of the short-lived series (Siegfried and Roy, after seeing a 7-Eleven commercial for a Big Gulp, end up taking over their local store and try to make it more "magical"). The WB's summer music special Pepsi Smash at least had some awesome live performances intertwined with the nauseating self-promotion (which I used my Tivo to skip over).
But, what I find the most troubling thing in the article is that currently there is a bill in the Senate that's nearing a vote that would make technology such as this A CRIME!!! The Intellectual Property Protection bill, according to the article, would ban any technology that allows a viewer to skip over the commercials on a DVD or televised movie. While not specifically mentioned, it can be assumed that if this law is passed for the film industry, the television industry will follow suit for a similar bill of their own. What does this mean to you? Instead of having the "freedom" that Tivo and other devices proclaim in their literature to watch what you want when you want, you instead would become a slave to it. If you're watching a recording that you made on your Tivo, you'll have to sit there and watch the whole thing, commercials included. At least if you're watching live television, you can flip the channel and watch something else, but if you're watching a recording you're going to be stuck. Yes people, that's what our government needs to be worrying about, making a person who doesn't want to be subjected to some lame commercial a criminal.
The Sad MNF Controversy Continues
Wow, this whole dumb controversy has already run on nearly 72 hours too long. The best observation on the issue was brought up by Tony Kornheiser on ESPN's Pardon the Interruption yesterday, when he said that all this has done is everytime a news report mentions the uproar, what do they do... They show clips from the skit!!! Heck yesterday, on the 6 PM SportsCenter, ESPN pretty much showed the whole thing in its entirety as they were discussing the controversy of "indecent" material being broadcast during sporting events. So you have the ABC unit of the Disney company apologizing for airing it, while the ESPN unit of Disney is showing it on the SportCenter airing that's most likely to have kids watching.
Then, we have Tony Dungy, who I loved when he was coaching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, dropping the race card implying that they only chose Owens to further the racial stereotype of the promiscuous African American athlete. Of course, I don't believe he could be further off-base. In Monday night's game, who was probably the only player involved that's a household name. Hmm... I would have to say that it would be Terrell Owens. If ABC had decided to do this skit next week, in a game between the Patriots and Chiefs, I doubt they would have Nicollette Sheridan posing in the Chiefs locker room with Priest Holmes... They would have been over with the Patriots have her woo Tom Brady (just as if it were your Colts, Tony, they would have wanted Peyton Manning). He also said that the scene was "insensitive" following Kobe Bryant's legal issues. I guess I missed the portion where Terrell bent her over a chair and fucked her up the ass.
Many sports and news websites out their have the little "Quick Polls" which ask if ABC went overboard in the Monday Night Football skit. Most of them are between the 70/30 and 60/40 range saying that they didn't feel the sketch was inappropriate. So really, enough!
Already on Tivo, their "Showcases" option often downloads ads to be viewed if a user chooses. Sometimes, these can be cool such as a movie trailer or a preview of a network's new programs, but usually they're shameless self promotion to upgrade to a new Tivo model or to buy a recorder as a gift. The key is that you can view it if you want to! It's not forced upon you when you're using one of the features of the service that you're already paying for.
And what does this say to the television network execs? That while viewers watch programming that they produce but they opt to forgo the commercials, they're going to be subjected to a commercial from a totally unaffiliated third party that has contributed nothing to the process? Yeah, that's going to go over well with them.
Now, I'm not totally against advertising in all spaces that have recently popped up. Movie theaters showing ads prior to a feature, while I think is dumb, I don't find intrusive since it doesn't interfere with the feature itself (could you imagine movies going into a commercial break after a critical scene). Product placement, if done within the scope of the show, can be OK. Heck, on the now apparently defunct show Father of the Pride, half of one episode was shameless placement for 7-Eleven and was done so well that it turned out to be the funniest part of the short-lived series (Siegfried and Roy, after seeing a 7-Eleven commercial for a Big Gulp, end up taking over their local store and try to make it more "magical"). The WB's summer music special Pepsi Smash at least had some awesome live performances intertwined with the nauseating self-promotion (which I used my Tivo to skip over).
But, what I find the most troubling thing in the article is that currently there is a bill in the Senate that's nearing a vote that would make technology such as this A CRIME!!! The Intellectual Property Protection bill, according to the article, would ban any technology that allows a viewer to skip over the commercials on a DVD or televised movie. While not specifically mentioned, it can be assumed that if this law is passed for the film industry, the television industry will follow suit for a similar bill of their own. What does this mean to you? Instead of having the "freedom" that Tivo and other devices proclaim in their literature to watch what you want when you want, you instead would become a slave to it. If you're watching a recording that you made on your Tivo, you'll have to sit there and watch the whole thing, commercials included. At least if you're watching live television, you can flip the channel and watch something else, but if you're watching a recording you're going to be stuck. Yes people, that's what our government needs to be worrying about, making a person who doesn't want to be subjected to some lame commercial a criminal.
The Sad MNF Controversy Continues
Wow, this whole dumb controversy has already run on nearly 72 hours too long. The best observation on the issue was brought up by Tony Kornheiser on ESPN's Pardon the Interruption yesterday, when he said that all this has done is everytime a news report mentions the uproar, what do they do... They show clips from the skit!!! Heck yesterday, on the 6 PM SportsCenter, ESPN pretty much showed the whole thing in its entirety as they were discussing the controversy of "indecent" material being broadcast during sporting events. So you have the ABC unit of the Disney company apologizing for airing it, while the ESPN unit of Disney is showing it on the SportCenter airing that's most likely to have kids watching.
Then, we have Tony Dungy, who I loved when he was coaching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, dropping the race card implying that they only chose Owens to further the racial stereotype of the promiscuous African American athlete. Of course, I don't believe he could be further off-base. In Monday night's game, who was probably the only player involved that's a household name. Hmm... I would have to say that it would be Terrell Owens. If ABC had decided to do this skit next week, in a game between the Patriots and Chiefs, I doubt they would have Nicollette Sheridan posing in the Chiefs locker room with Priest Holmes... They would have been over with the Patriots have her woo Tom Brady (just as if it were your Colts, Tony, they would have wanted Peyton Manning). He also said that the scene was "insensitive" following Kobe Bryant's legal issues. I guess I missed the portion where Terrell bent her over a chair and fucked her up the ass.
Many sports and news websites out their have the little "Quick Polls" which ask if ABC went overboard in the Monday Night Football skit. Most of them are between the 70/30 and 60/40 range saying that they didn't feel the sketch was inappropriate. So really, enough!
November 17, 2004
The Good Ol' Days of the Internet
Yep, another boring day here working for the Empire, so you get a twofer here on AOwL.com.
I just finished reading an Lance Ulanoff article on PC Magazine's website decrying AOL's decision to launch the low-priced Netscape ISP service earlier this year. Kind of weird that he just wrote such an article last week, but hey, that's not my call.
But instead of writing on the stupidity of AOL, which would take all remaining space on the Internet not currently reserved for porn, it just reminded me of how different things were when I first started using the Internet. I try to be, what the marketing textbooks classify, an "early adapter". The problem is that I have no money, so I can't necessarily jump on the bandwagon as quickly as I like. So, I didn't get on the Internet bandwagon until 1995 when a neighbor of mine got a computer and would let me use it. Even with that, I didn't really start using the Internet daily until I went off to FSU in 1997 where they had terminals throughout the library that had just been installed.
But I remember just some of the great tools that you could use back then that aren't around anymore, either bought up by a corporate titan (i.e., Hotmail) or has just faded through the years due to better competition (i.e., AltaVista). My favorite search feature, before Yahoo! and Google became the staples, was Infoseek. Just so easy to use, would give you so many results if you were doing a report and needed a lot of information. Just a great tool. Then, Disney had to go and buy it to feature their search technology on their new Go.com portal. But, Disney really mismanaged Go, which had great potential with exclusive content from ABC and ESPN, and Infoseek rotted on the vine with it. Now, Go just offers links to their more popular websites and keeps their old e-mail client server active, while offering a search tool run through Google. My original homepage was on the free webhosting site Angelfire back before they were bought out by Lycos (which was, in turn, bought out by Spanish web-provider Terra) and people would be able to visit it without being inundated with a dozen pop-ups. RocketMail and Launch have since been bought out by Yahoo!, but have kept up their quality of content.
Then there was the old Netscape browser, which was clearly the king. Yet, after being purchased by Internet slumlord AOL, was allowed to whither and die (why did they even bother buying them when they turned around and ran the AOL service off of Microsoft's Internet Explorer?). Luckily, some of Netscape's developers have opened up the source for other developers, and have launched the incredible Mozilla Firefox last week (I've been using it for a couple of months when they launched the Preview Edition, and it's such a great tool).
I just finished reading an Lance Ulanoff article on PC Magazine's website decrying AOL's decision to launch the low-priced Netscape ISP service earlier this year. Kind of weird that he just wrote such an article last week, but hey, that's not my call.
But instead of writing on the stupidity of AOL, which would take all remaining space on the Internet not currently reserved for porn, it just reminded me of how different things were when I first started using the Internet. I try to be, what the marketing textbooks classify, an "early adapter". The problem is that I have no money, so I can't necessarily jump on the bandwagon as quickly as I like. So, I didn't get on the Internet bandwagon until 1995 when a neighbor of mine got a computer and would let me use it. Even with that, I didn't really start using the Internet daily until I went off to FSU in 1997 where they had terminals throughout the library that had just been installed.
But I remember just some of the great tools that you could use back then that aren't around anymore, either bought up by a corporate titan (i.e., Hotmail) or has just faded through the years due to better competition (i.e., AltaVista). My favorite search feature, before Yahoo! and Google became the staples, was Infoseek. Just so easy to use, would give you so many results if you were doing a report and needed a lot of information. Just a great tool. Then, Disney had to go and buy it to feature their search technology on their new Go.com portal. But, Disney really mismanaged Go, which had great potential with exclusive content from ABC and ESPN, and Infoseek rotted on the vine with it. Now, Go just offers links to their more popular websites and keeps their old e-mail client server active, while offering a search tool run through Google. My original homepage was on the free webhosting site Angelfire back before they were bought out by Lycos (which was, in turn, bought out by Spanish web-provider Terra) and people would be able to visit it without being inundated with a dozen pop-ups. RocketMail and Launch have since been bought out by Yahoo!, but have kept up their quality of content.
Then there was the old Netscape browser, which was clearly the king. Yet, after being purchased by Internet slumlord AOL, was allowed to whither and die (why did they even bother buying them when they turned around and ran the AOL service off of Microsoft's Internet Explorer?). Luckily, some of Netscape's developers have opened up the source for other developers, and have launched the incredible Mozilla Firefox last week (I've been using it for a couple of months when they launched the Preview Edition, and it's such a great tool).
Shock & Awe - NFL Style
Man, can anything somewhat entertaining be shown on TV without people going nuts about it?! ABC decided to pre-empt the "dropping helmets" intro to Monday Night Football this week to spoof (and shamelessly plug) their Sunday night series Desperate Housewives. The short, as mentioned yesterday, featured Eagles star Terrell Owens being propositioned to miss the game to spend some "quality time" with Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan, who was clothed only in a towel. The end of the scene showed Sheridan dropping the towel to further convince Terrell to skip the game, and then jumping into his arms when he agrees before cutting away to fellow co-stars Terri Hatcher and Marcia Cross who were watching the proceedings on TV before dropping the "Are you ready for some football?" line.
In all, the whole scene was about as titillating as a soap commercial. While definitely attempting to be risque, it was more of a joke attempting to capitalize on the popularity of the ABC hit. But the powers that be are going nuts, comparing this to Janet Jackson's Nipplegate episode from the Super Bowl. Not in any frame of footage is anything other than arms, legs, or head of Nicollette's body ever shown. After dropping the towel, you get a view of her back. That's it. Even the conversation they were having was veiled in double-entendres and relatively conservative.
While admittedly, MNF probably does have an audience of young football fans, there was really nothing here any more contemptable than one may find in a common beer ad. One thing that has been lost in this conversation is that Monday Night Football and Desperate Housewives come on at the exact same time here in the Eastern time zone. While true that kick-off out west is 6 PM, when kids are more likely to be watching, nothing in the whole skit was any more risque than you would see on a soap opera that comes on in the middle of the afternoon.
So really, the only valid complaint anyone could file against ABC in this whole business is that they chose Nicollette Sheridan instead of having Terrell play gardener with the uber-hot Eva Longoria.
So please, ABC stop apologizing... NFL quit acting like hypocrites (yeah, that stuff in only permissable in commercials from NFL sponsors where the league's getting paid)... And to the people whining: Get over it!
In all, the whole scene was about as titillating as a soap commercial. While definitely attempting to be risque, it was more of a joke attempting to capitalize on the popularity of the ABC hit. But the powers that be are going nuts, comparing this to Janet Jackson's Nipplegate episode from the Super Bowl. Not in any frame of footage is anything other than arms, legs, or head of Nicollette's body ever shown. After dropping the towel, you get a view of her back. That's it. Even the conversation they were having was veiled in double-entendres and relatively conservative.
While admittedly, MNF probably does have an audience of young football fans, there was really nothing here any more contemptable than one may find in a common beer ad. One thing that has been lost in this conversation is that Monday Night Football and Desperate Housewives come on at the exact same time here in the Eastern time zone. While true that kick-off out west is 6 PM, when kids are more likely to be watching, nothing in the whole skit was any more risque than you would see on a soap opera that comes on in the middle of the afternoon.
So really, the only valid complaint anyone could file against ABC in this whole business is that they chose Nicollette Sheridan instead of having Terrell play gardener with the uber-hot Eva Longoria.
So please, ABC stop apologizing... NFL quit acting like hypocrites (yeah, that stuff in only permissable in commercials from NFL sponsors where the league's getting paid)... And to the people whining: Get over it!
November 16, 2004
Another Day for You and Me in Paradise
Blah, blah, blah. I don't feel like writing an intro today. A matter of fact, I don't have that much to say. Still can't get enough of Terrell Owens' reaction shot last night in the opening of Monday Night Football where they were spoofing Desperate Housewives. Classic.
Women of Your Local Business
Playboy is launching another of their "Women of..." series with the "Women of McDonald's" coming today on their website, Playboy.com. This follows recent editions such as "Women of Wal-Mart" and the "Women of Home Depot". Of course, they also recently did a "Girls of the ACC" issue featuring a really cute blonde from my alma mater.
Just thought I'd bring it up to further embarass a friend of mine. During my time at FSU, they did another edition of "Girls of the ACC", where one pinup worked at a local bar across the street from my dorm (I lived in Broward Hall, so the bar was The Sweet Shop for you fellow Noles). Anyways, I just had a friend who was obsessed with her and would drag me along whenever he went over there, regardless of what else I may of had to do (but lets face it, I didn't have much of anything to do). The sum of the story was, that he's stupid and I'm still paying my student loan bills that I probably dumped a good deal of cash at that place. I'm not much of a storyteller. But it is kind of cool to realize that you deal with a Playboy Playmate on nearly a daily basis. Don't know why, but it is.
Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy
Today's is the ultimate in laziness. Don't know her name or really anything about her. But this week's "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" is the girl in the white shirt (third from left) in this picture from Bush's victory celebration in Time Magazine. Today, I present an open letter to her:
Grand Owl's Secret Lair
St. Petersburg, Florida
November 16th, 2004
Dear Girl In the White Shirt (Third From Left) from the Picture in Time on Page 32,
My name is the Grand Owl, and I came across your photo as I was ripping pages out of the Bush victory issue of Time last week to burn in a sacrificial pyre. After seeing your majestic beauty, it gave me a chance to reflect upon myself and also what this past year has done to our nation. Like you, I am thankful that this derisive election season is over and am prepared to start the healing process as this glorious nation proceeds through another four years of a Bush administration.
Yet, I do not believe that our nation can truly begin to mend until members of the Left (i.e., me) and members of the Right (i.e., you) reach out to one another in the spirit of friendship and brotherly love that was fostered by our forefather's (except that whole incident where Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton in a duel, apparently a highlight in American history for certain members of the Senate from Georgia). That's why I believe you should meet me, at your convenience, so that we can do it on live television as a symbolic gesture that the nation has moved on from the animosity generated from the election and is prepared to be reborn in a union of one nation.
You may contact, through AOwL.com, to make arrangements for what I feel will be a historic event in the annals of our great nation. With this one expression of unity, the two of us can make a difference and help to lead this nation to a bright new tomorrow. I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
The Grand Owl
Random Thoughts
Women of Your Local Business
Playboy is launching another of their "Women of..." series with the "Women of McDonald's" coming today on their website, Playboy.com. This follows recent editions such as "Women of Wal-Mart" and the "Women of Home Depot". Of course, they also recently did a "Girls of the ACC" issue featuring a really cute blonde from my alma mater.
Just thought I'd bring it up to further embarass a friend of mine. During my time at FSU, they did another edition of "Girls of the ACC", where one pinup worked at a local bar across the street from my dorm (I lived in Broward Hall, so the bar was The Sweet Shop for you fellow Noles). Anyways, I just had a friend who was obsessed with her and would drag me along whenever he went over there, regardless of what else I may of had to do (but lets face it, I didn't have much of anything to do). The sum of the story was, that he's stupid and I'm still paying my student loan bills that I probably dumped a good deal of cash at that place. I'm not much of a storyteller. But it is kind of cool to realize that you deal with a Playboy Playmate on nearly a daily basis. Don't know why, but it is.
Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy
Today's is the ultimate in laziness. Don't know her name or really anything about her. But this week's "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" is the girl in the white shirt (third from left) in this picture from Bush's victory celebration in Time Magazine. Today, I present an open letter to her:
Grand Owl's Secret Lair
St. Petersburg, Florida
November 16th, 2004
Dear Girl In the White Shirt (Third From Left) from the Picture in Time on Page 32,
My name is the Grand Owl, and I came across your photo as I was ripping pages out of the Bush victory issue of Time last week to burn in a sacrificial pyre. After seeing your majestic beauty, it gave me a chance to reflect upon myself and also what this past year has done to our nation. Like you, I am thankful that this derisive election season is over and am prepared to start the healing process as this glorious nation proceeds through another four years of a Bush administration.
Yet, I do not believe that our nation can truly begin to mend until members of the Left (i.e., me) and members of the Right (i.e., you) reach out to one another in the spirit of friendship and brotherly love that was fostered by our forefather's (except that whole incident where Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton in a duel, apparently a highlight in American history for certain members of the Senate from Georgia). That's why I believe you should meet me, at your convenience, so that we can do it on live television as a symbolic gesture that the nation has moved on from the animosity generated from the election and is prepared to be reborn in a union of one nation.
You may contact, through AOwL.com, to make arrangements for what I feel will be a historic event in the annals of our great nation. With this one expression of unity, the two of us can make a difference and help to lead this nation to a bright new tomorrow. I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
The Grand Owl
Random Thoughts
- Boy, they could have just condensed last night's Monday Night Football game to a series of highlights and mailed in the rest ala a SportsCenter segment. Spectacular plays intertwined with intolerable tedium. By halftime I was watching the Serena Williams/Maria Sharapova tennis match on ESPN 2.
- Last week, the NFL finalized television contracts with Fox and CBS to continue airing Sunday matchups through 2011. One thing about this new arrangement is a provision which allows the league to pull a game from Sunday and move it to either Sunday or Monday night. While this is good for the home fan who watches the games on TV, it's not really good for the fan who pay exorbatant sums to actually go to the game. See, in order to pay $75 a ticket to sit ten stories above the field, people have to work. Generally, these people work normal jobs from Monday-Friday, and may travel a distance to be able to attend a game. So, I'm sure quite a few fans would be upset to have bought tickets for a game that was supposed to take place at 1 PM on a Sunday afternoon, and then have it moved to 9 PM on a Monday night. For example, while I live here in the Tampa Bay area I have tickets to see my beloved Bears play the Jacksonville Jaguars at Alletel Stadium next month. I paid quite a bit to be able to see the Monsters play about four hours from my home and would be extremely upset if, a few weeks before the game, the NFL up and announces that they're moving it to Monday night, meaning I either have to take two days off from my job in order to go or giving up my opportunity to see the Bears play (which, of course, I would want a refund). Just something that these NFL execs should think about as they're rolling in the $8 billion dollars they're about to get.
- Here's something for NHL executives to think about... While the NFL's collective bargaining agreement doesn't expire for a couple years, they're already in talks with Union officials on extending it. Last year, throughout the NHL season, it was like "Are they even going to bother to start talking, or are they just going to wait for the lockout to start?" Well, apparently they chose the latter, and still haven't begun any meaningful discussions, meaning that this entire season is just weeks away from being wiped entirely from the books. Way to f'in go!
November 15, 2004
Let Every Play Lead the Way to Victory
How 'bout those Chicago Bears?! 3-0 QB Craig Krenzel led the Monsters of the Midway to a whopping three points, and yet the Bears still won 19-17, after an OT fumble in the endzone lead to a Chicago safety. Now, what started out as a bleak season with the loss of starting QB Rex Grossman and All-Pro linebacker Brian Urlacher at least has a ray of light as the Bears are one game behind division leader Green Bay, and hold a tiebreaker on the Packers following an early season 21-10 victory.
I Just Don't Get People
OK, real quick I'm going to sit on my sexist, male-chauvanist horse for a moment, but please... It's with the best of intentions. But why, oh why, do guys kill hot women? I mean, not that I condone murder in any circumstance, but kids and hot women are especially more egregious. Over the weekend, a local Tampa insurance adjuster was murdered and had her body dumped into a river. The woman was just doing her job, expecting a home that was damaged during one of the hurricanes, and the home's owner apparently beat her to death. I just don't get it.
Now, to totally make a 180 with how I don't get people (and probably trivializing the tragic murder that occurred), Maurice Clarrett is ratting-out his former college Ohio State to apparently clear his name or something. First things first, there's really not a doubt in my mind that what he says more than likely occurred. And that's my beef... I don't get why these boosters and alumni do stuff like that. What's the gain, that your team beats their arch rival on Saturday afternoon? So the fuck what!!! I love instances like Chris Webber at Michigan where the school pretty much wiped clear the record books of the years he was there as if they never happened. Yeah, way to do something valuable for your university. I guess, in reality, I'm a sports fan with a little something called "perspective". What's the point of cheering for a team when you know that they're cheating to get where they are? It's almost like when FSU plays Duke in football or when the Devil Rays play anyone, the game just loses its entertainment value.
Game Review
Halo 2 - **** (out of five stars)
I'm not going to pretend that I'm a professional game reviewer, but I have to tell you... This is one of the reasons that I kept my Xbox instead of trading it in for a PS2. The Xbox just has a superior graphics engine, and yet most of the games that I have just don't appear to try and tap it. But, Halo 2, with most stuff issued through the Microsoft Game Studios, tries to unleash every ounce of graphics power the Xbox can muster. Obviously, I mention this because Halo 2 looks incredible. I'm still pretty early into the single-player campaign, but the cutscenes and environments are nearly movie quality (speaking of which, they're making one, so I'll be taking bets on how bad it's going to suck shortly). Being able to use two weapons at the same time just makes you wish that you could do a slow-mo replay to get the full John Woo effect of the carnage that you're inflicting.
I'll definitely write more as I progress through the game, but needless to say, if you have an Xbox and love a good shooter, BUY IT! No point in waiting, you still can't get the first Halo cheap and it's three years old. So, don't be cheap and get your hands on a copy.
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic - *** (out of five stars)
OK, while I give this game three stars, I'm not totally feeling it. For those in the know, yes, KOTR is over a year old. I just got it, as I am a cheap bastard and picked it up from the $20 Platinum Hits bin. But, I thought that KOTR would make a good first attempt for me into the realm of the role-playing game. For those outside of the gamer community, an RPG as they're called is pretty much where you live the life of a character and lead them through different adventures... In this case, as a member of the Star Wars universe as you may lead your character to the light side of the Force as a Jedi, or to the dark side as a Sith. I've always found RPGs boring, as they just simulate stuff that I could be doing on my own (you spend a lot of time talking to people to learn information; if I wanted to talk to people I'd go outside).
While I love the graphics and the general story of KOTR, I just can't get into it. After about an hour of running around a city talking to people and collecting items, I'm ready to pop Halo 2 back in (just a small side note, for some reason first-person shooters like Halo 2 cause me to feel sick... this from a guy who's a roller coaster junkie with no effect, but I can't play a dumb video game). Anyways, like with Halo 2, I'll probably write more about it as I progress through the game.
Random Thoughts
I Just Don't Get People
OK, real quick I'm going to sit on my sexist, male-chauvanist horse for a moment, but please... It's with the best of intentions. But why, oh why, do guys kill hot women? I mean, not that I condone murder in any circumstance, but kids and hot women are especially more egregious. Over the weekend, a local Tampa insurance adjuster was murdered and had her body dumped into a river. The woman was just doing her job, expecting a home that was damaged during one of the hurricanes, and the home's owner apparently beat her to death. I just don't get it.
Now, to totally make a 180 with how I don't get people (and probably trivializing the tragic murder that occurred), Maurice Clarrett is ratting-out his former college Ohio State to apparently clear his name or something. First things first, there's really not a doubt in my mind that what he says more than likely occurred. And that's my beef... I don't get why these boosters and alumni do stuff like that. What's the gain, that your team beats their arch rival on Saturday afternoon? So the fuck what!!! I love instances like Chris Webber at Michigan where the school pretty much wiped clear the record books of the years he was there as if they never happened. Yeah, way to do something valuable for your university. I guess, in reality, I'm a sports fan with a little something called "perspective". What's the point of cheering for a team when you know that they're cheating to get where they are? It's almost like when FSU plays Duke in football or when the Devil Rays play anyone, the game just loses its entertainment value.
Game Review
Halo 2 - **** (out of five stars)
I'm not going to pretend that I'm a professional game reviewer, but I have to tell you... This is one of the reasons that I kept my Xbox instead of trading it in for a PS2. The Xbox just has a superior graphics engine, and yet most of the games that I have just don't appear to try and tap it. But, Halo 2, with most stuff issued through the Microsoft Game Studios, tries to unleash every ounce of graphics power the Xbox can muster. Obviously, I mention this because Halo 2 looks incredible. I'm still pretty early into the single-player campaign, but the cutscenes and environments are nearly movie quality (speaking of which, they're making one, so I'll be taking bets on how bad it's going to suck shortly). Being able to use two weapons at the same time just makes you wish that you could do a slow-mo replay to get the full John Woo effect of the carnage that you're inflicting.
I'll definitely write more as I progress through the game, but needless to say, if you have an Xbox and love a good shooter, BUY IT! No point in waiting, you still can't get the first Halo cheap and it's three years old. So, don't be cheap and get your hands on a copy.
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic - *** (out of five stars)
OK, while I give this game three stars, I'm not totally feeling it. For those in the know, yes, KOTR is over a year old. I just got it, as I am a cheap bastard and picked it up from the $20 Platinum Hits bin. But, I thought that KOTR would make a good first attempt for me into the realm of the role-playing game. For those outside of the gamer community, an RPG as they're called is pretty much where you live the life of a character and lead them through different adventures... In this case, as a member of the Star Wars universe as you may lead your character to the light side of the Force as a Jedi, or to the dark side as a Sith. I've always found RPGs boring, as they just simulate stuff that I could be doing on my own (you spend a lot of time talking to people to learn information; if I wanted to talk to people I'd go outside).
While I love the graphics and the general story of KOTR, I just can't get into it. After about an hour of running around a city talking to people and collecting items, I'm ready to pop Halo 2 back in (just a small side note, for some reason first-person shooters like Halo 2 cause me to feel sick... this from a guy who's a roller coaster junkie with no effect, but I can't play a dumb video game). Anyways, like with Halo 2, I'll probably write more about it as I progress through the game.
Random Thoughts
- I'm sitting here watching Monday Night Football, when Eagles tackle Tra Thomas gave some love to the DeLand High School Bulldogs in the opening intros. Being a fellow Volusia boy, I appreciate the shot-out. Meanwhile, my alma mater Lake Mary High School... Well, they just continue to suck.
- How sad is this, I took a test today as I proceed towards my license in the securities industry... Totally cheated and still only managed an 83%. Guess that's what I deserve for spending the weekend playing Halo 2 instead of studying.
- ESPN started their broadcasts tonight of the college basketball season with a preseason NIT matchup between George Washington and Wake Forest. Just have to mention that because I'm a huge college basketball fan. Kind of sad considering that I went to Florida State, obviously a big football school, and just couldn't care less about them. But when it comes to Noles hoops, I've got you covered. Also, while I was there, big into women's college volleyball. They tend to be tall, and I just love those short-shorts they wear.
- Another item to show my sad state, I was watching the Jason Alexander sitcom Listen Up! tonight and the special guest was Wayne Knight. Think about it... Yeah, I was sitting there and couldn't figure out why the studio audience was going nuts, and they were talking about knowing each other from somewhere before. Then, it finally dawned on me that they were both on Seinfeld together. This from a guy who LOVES Seinfeld, and actually plans on getting the DVD set this weekend (comes out tomorrow, and should be good for those other Seinfeld fans out there). I'm telling you, I'm going senile in my old age.
- Who saw the officials give the game over to the Pitt Panthers against Notre Dame on Saturday? Absolutely horrible officiating, with phantom pass interference calls leading to at least two Panther scores (yet an Irish interception was caused by a Pitt player nailing him before the ball was in the vicinity, which the officials let slide). But, I'm usually good for one upset pick a season, and here's mine for 2004... Get your bookies on the line... The Notre Dame Fighting Irish will beat undefeated USC in Los Angeles in two weeks. My prognostications come from gut instinct, and during that debacle on Saturday, it came to me that the Irish will beat the arch-rival Trojans.
- Speaking of the Irish, it tells you the current state of Notre Dame football when the NBC announce team had to constantly talk up that the Irish had a Toyota Gator Bowl bid on the line. Yeah, who needs the exposure that a national championship can provide when you have the prospect of spending the new year in beautiful Jacksonville, Florida. Of course, I'm thinking that it was being talked up so much because, well who happens to air the Gator Bowl... NBC, of course. One prospect that may have me spending my New Year's Weekend in J-Ville... A match-up between Notre Dame and Florida State. But, with their loss on Saturday, that's not looking very likely.
November 10, 2004
Let's Face It... Viacom Sucks!
OK, after ripping on SpikeTV and MTV2 yesterday, I get to rip on CBS today. Love how they walked right into my little trap. Muhahaha! Anyways, I don't know why I'm even defending it because I never saw an episode, but CBS announced today that they're cancelling the baseball drama Clubhouse. Lets just say that it didn't take a genius to see that coming. Probably, the best time to launch a sports-related show aimed at young male viewers isn't during the initial Fall season. Clubhouse originally debuted on a Sunday night (competing against the NFL on ESPN), then moved to Tuesday nights (competing against the baseball playoffs), and finally to Saturday nights (competing against college football and people who have a life). Hopefully, it'll come back mid-season at a better spot in the schedule because it really did look good.
To be fair, here's some stuff from Viacom that I do like:
To be fair, here's some stuff from Viacom that I do like:
- David Letterman
- Comedy Central
- CBSNews.com - probably the best organized American news website, with free video
- Infinity Broadcasting - for being willing to support Howard Stern
- That episode of Eve last night on UPN that had Danica McKellar in that hot red dress (what can I say, put a woman in red or pink and I'm drawn in like a bear to honey)
- Local channel UPN 44 - runs an hour of The Simpsons every weekday and has attempted local programming with Tampa Bay Gamers Unleashed.
November 09, 2004
I-K-U-Z-U-S
Driving to work this morning, I was listening to ESPN Radio's Mike & Mike in the Morning Show where they were waxing nostalgic about the greatest baseball play-by-play man of all time, Harry Caray. How trivial matters such as the actual game would not deter him from finishing whatever story he started on about three innings before. Man I miss him!
T-Plus Seven Days from the Most Important Day of Your Life
Well, we've now had about a week to let the little hiccup we call the presidential election blow over, and no matter who you voted for, doesn't life seem just a little bit better? The only polls that I've heard about in the last week have been college football polls (Go Noles!); the only personal attacks I've heard have been between Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis; local roadways have been cleared of political signage and billboards have returned back to their original purpose... advertising local strip clubs. I tell you, it's a wonderful time to be alive!!!
But fellow liberal-minded people have not taken the news of another four years of Double-Duh in as optimistic a manner as I. Andrew Veal of Athens, Georgia drove up to the former site of the World Trade Center and shot himself in the head. As mentioned last week, Al Franken sounded like he was about ready to cry on his Air America Radio talk show. The Village Voice is running a headline on their homepage "The Dream Is Lost: Four More Years".
Don't fret though, my little owlets... I shall provide you with some quick tips to get you through the 2008 Beijing Olympics and that other thing they normally do every four years.
T-Plus Seven Days from the Most Important Day of Your Life
Well, we've now had about a week to let the little hiccup we call the presidential election blow over, and no matter who you voted for, doesn't life seem just a little bit better? The only polls that I've heard about in the last week have been college football polls (Go Noles!); the only personal attacks I've heard have been between Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis; local roadways have been cleared of political signage and billboards have returned back to their original purpose... advertising local strip clubs. I tell you, it's a wonderful time to be alive!!!
But fellow liberal-minded people have not taken the news of another four years of Double-Duh in as optimistic a manner as I. Andrew Veal of Athens, Georgia drove up to the former site of the World Trade Center and shot himself in the head. As mentioned last week, Al Franken sounded like he was about ready to cry on his Air America Radio talk show. The Village Voice is running a headline on their homepage "The Dream Is Lost: Four More Years".
Don't fret though, my little owlets... I shall provide you with some quick tips to get you through the 2008 Beijing Olympics and that other thing they normally do every four years.
- Don't Like a Double-Duh Policy, Support Organizations that Oppose It
It can be as easy as writing a check or as time-consuming as becoming a full-fledged volunteer or employee. If you're afraid that the Patriot Act may cause additional restrictions on our civil liberties, join an organization like the ACLU. Opposed to the unravelling of thirty years of enivironmental policies, support groups like the Sierra Club. If you support the citizens of the third world instead of the natural resources that can be exploited by corporations, organizations such as CARE can always use help. If there's an action taken that you disagree with, more than likely there is some not-for-profit organization that agrees with you and is working hard against it.
- Civics Lesson for Those New Voters: Congressional Seats Are Elected Every Two Years
So you may have heard that Republicans made gains in the real seat of power, the U.S. Congress (they gained four seats in both the House and the Senate). BUT, the House seats will come up for a vote again in just two years and 1/3 of the seats in the Senate will be up for election in 2006. So, if you're unhappy with an incumbent who ran unoppossed (either literally or practically), find a local official or just anyone who you think would be an asset to Capitol Hill and get the ball rolling. Obviously, for most it's easier to start a Congressional career in the House than running a statewide Senate campaign, but the most important thing is to start early. Work on a platform and start trying to garner some local interest.
- All This Stuff About the National Election, Stuff Sucks Here Too!
Well, have you ever gone to a city council meeting? If there's an intersection in your area that you think needs a stoplight, do you (a) write your local traffic director and city council representative, (b) contact your local homeowner's association or other civic institution that may be able to help, or (c) bitch about it everytime you have to wait for traffic to clear to get across. For those who voted, you probably saw a bunch of weird races where you had no clue who you were voting for... water management district, fire district, city manager (and apparently President). Anyways, each of these people may not get the press but probably make more decisions that affect your day-to-day life than the President or any other federal official. Take the time to see who they are, what it is they do, and find ways that they could do better.
The main point I'm trying to make here is that NOW IS THE TIME! The Democrats put themselves in a hole by whining that Bush was an illegitimate president for two years instead of properly planning a course for the mid-term elections in 2002 and the presidential election of 2004.
So, you may be asking yourself what I plan to do. Can't preach if I'm unwilling to act. Well, I'm going to use my annual bonus to support the three organizations I listed above (but I encourage you to do your own research and find groups that you may more closely agree with) and I'm actually going to check the Florida state constitution to see what the minimum age to be a member of our state house is (I'll be 29 in 2006, so I think I may not be old enough). That's right, Grand Owl for State House 2006!!! If anything, I'd get paid more to sit in boring meetings for three months than I do now in my current job all year.
Did You All Here About This Video Game Revolution Thing?!?!
This holiday season will be good for the Gamers out there. Of course, today is the highly anticipated launch of Halo 2 for Microsoft's Xbox console. In addition, PS2 launched the similarly hyped Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas a couple of weeks ago. Fans excitedly waited for recent releases such as Doom 3 and The Sims 2, and EverCrack II (oops, EverQuest II), Metal Gear Solid 3, and Half-Life 2 are due out in the next couple of weeks. And as you can see, all of the games mentioned are sequels, so who knows what new and original killer game may roll out in time for Christmas.
But what puzzles me is the press that this season is generating. Like the video game fan is a "new" phenomenon. Many are writing that the stereotype of the nerd hiding in his parent's basement for days at a time have been broken, but it has only been the media that perpitrated that stereotype. I remember as a kid going to video game arcades and watching adults dump their quarters into the machines like the rest of us. One of my favorite childhood memories is playing "Frogs & Flies" for the Atari 2600 with my grandfather, then him playing by himself to figure out why I always beat him (I had my controller on the easy setting and his on hard). One of my favorite movie scenes is the "Super Fan 99" scene in the movie "Swingers" where a group of 20-somethings gather around the TV to play EA's NHL 1994 ("Make somebody's head bleed!"). The new flag's already flying from the Capitol, and the media is just now getting wind of the revolution?! While I love the pub for the gaming industry, in my mind it shows the hypocrisy of most media outlets who are attempting to dispell a sterotype that they helped start in the first place.
Random Thoughts
- I don't really get SpikeTV. I was psyched when I heard that TNN was going to change their format to appeal to a young male adult audience. Yet every time they take a stab at something original, it's just a swing and a miss. Over the weekend, I was watching their "Ultimate Gamer" show which was going to focus on Halo 2. What I was expecting was a cool look inside how Halo 2 was made with some gameplay shots and insight on special new features. What I got was like a SpikeTV version of "Queer Eye for the Lame Guy". While I did get some of what I was hoping for, the show focused on someone who they selected as the Halo "Ultimate Gamer" (while giving no explanation as to why he was picked other than that he played the game a lot) as he gets to tour the Bungie Studios in Washington and has his apartment made over in California. You know the shows going to be bad right off the bat when the host's name is "Stryker", denigrates further when all of the lucky participant's "reaction" shots look so staged that it seems he's reading from a cue card, then goes totally off-tangent when for some reason they spend five minutes showing this guy driving around in a dune-buggy. The finale where they show off his new apartment was the capper because, in my opinion, it looked WORSE THAN BEFORE. While his furnishings weren't great, what they replaced them with weren't spectacular either. They painted his living room this ugly and depressing gray, used a grafitti artist to add images from the game on his walls, and pretty much made everything in his place a walk-in advertisement for the game. Not that this guy was a looker, but if I brought a date home to this place I could pretty much guarantee that I wouldn't be getting any action! But enough bitching about this show, SpikeTV has done this kind of thing consistently. If only we could forget the totally awful 2003 SpikeTV Video Game Awards. It would have been Harry Caray's kind of award show since it seemed the producers felt the audience didn't need to be bothered with such minor matters as WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON! They didn't announce the award or who was nominated, they just would pop up and say "The winner for best sports game is Madden 2004!" then show the bewildered developers of the game sitting at a table as confetti rained down and dancing girls joined them, then quickly cut back to their wrestling match or the B-list celebrities that they conjured up to attend this disaster. Some other misses were "Joe Schmo 2" (the first one was cool), "10 Things Every Guy Should Do" which was supposed to show average guys getting to attend premier sporting events but turned into a lame game show (which appears to have been ripped-off for some reason by the ESPN show "I'd Do Anything"), "The John Henson Show" (which I loved him on Talk Soup, but this was a lame "Man Show" rip-off), that weekend late-night programming block from earlier this summer which was just soo all-over the place, and I could go on. But, I write this long rant because I care. I still think the channel could work without reverting back to a USA or TNT type channel (which just replays shlock spooned out by their corporate parents), but the channel execs already seems to be heading in that direction with reruns of Star Trek and CSI that are taking a larger cut of the daily schedule. A last gasp at creativity starts tonight at 9:00 ET, with a new nightly block of original programming (yes, wrestling fans, I know it technically started last night with WWE Raw but it's not new and is not Spike's own original programming): a Tuesday night reality show hosted by Al Sharpton(?!) called "I Hate My Job", a Wednesday night reality show in the guise of "The Casino" or "American Chopper" called "The Club" which highlights the day-to-day activities of a Las Vegas nightclub, a Thursday night Japanese trivia show import called "Hey!", and a Friday night sports retrospective called "Untold" which will show the stories of sports greats (lets see, ESPN Classic has "SportsCentury" and FOX Sports Net has "Beyond the Glory"... yeah we can always use a third show to see where Fran Tarkenton grew up). However, I doubt a quartet of reality shows and a weekly wrestling program will be what it takes to finally launch the network off the ground, but we'll see. HEY, SPIKETV EXECS, I'M ACTUALLY A 27 YEAR-OLD MALE... HIRE ME AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IS WORTH AIRING AND WHAT GUYS LIKE ME WOULD FLIP PAST FASTER THAN THE LIFETIME MOVIE NETWORK!
- Now, to totally burn bridges with anyone from Viacom, I know many others have said it but I have to throw in my two cents, YOU KILLED MTV2!!! Music fans probably remember back to when the network launched in 1996 with execs cracking on themselves on how MTV didn't play music anymore. MTV2 was going to go back to its roots by playing only music videos. Then, it was anything "music-related" which was still cool with live performances such as the "$2 Bill" series and artist collections. Then it began to denegrate into a VH1 clone with lame "Worst of..." specials and celebrity lifestyle shows. Now, it's just as the name suggests, a second channel of MTV. While they still play more music than their sister station, they've drifted away into playing reruns of old MTV shows such as "Road Rules/Real World Challenge", "Celebrity Deathmatch", "Cribs" and all that other crap. Luckily, we at least have a counter-weight to how bad MTV is with the incredible Fuse (which happens to be run by Canadian media conglomerate CityTV, who actually ditched scripted programming for an all-music format when they made the jump from MuchMusic USA to Fuse). Next week, I'll find a way to rip on Viacom's future gay channel LOGO, but I've gotta keep it nice because they are going to have a show featuring Kid in the Hall Scott Thompson.
- As those of you who follow my blog know, I run about a day behind in my TV viewing as a Tivo a show and usually watch it the next day. So last night I was able to watch Sunday night's Adult Swim lineup from Cartoon Network. This week's lineup differed from normal, with the introduction of a short called Perfect Hair Forever which was an Americanized take on how weird Japanese anime shows can be. I can't really explain it, but if you enjoy any Adult Swim shows, you must see this if you missed it! It was then followed-up by a comical "round table discussion" on that short hosted by Space Ghost which was just as bizarre as the short itself (today's blog title was going to be "My father stuck his human penis in my shark mother" before I heard the Harry Caray clip where he tried to pronounce Kaz Suzuki's name backwards). It makes you wonder if the Williams Street people are comic geniuses or if they will just throw any crap they think up out there to show how stupid we are for thinking it's funny.
November 08, 2004
Bear Down, Chicago Bears
YES!!! Two weeks in a row, my glorious Chicago Bears have been the victors in an epic NFL struggle. OK, that's how I would write it if I were working for the group over at NFL Films. But yes, the Bears won again last night. I nearly wrecked my car on I-4 when I heard them do the recap on Fox Sports Radio. They'll be up against another 3-5 team this Sunday in the Tennessee Titans, so do I smell a three game winning streak... Well, no, that's something else entirely. Ewww...
My Brother's Keeper
So, I was back home in Orlando this weekend for my little brother's Eagle Scout ceremony, the top honor in the world of Boy Scouts (I, on the other hand, didn't make it out of Cub Scouts... An old family motto is: "The outside is why mankind invented the inside."). So, big ups to him as I've seen pictures of him out on the camp-out and picked him up from a weekend long canoe trip in the pouring rain and cold.
But the topic of conversation yesterday wasn't my brother's achievement in the world of scouting, but in the world of dating. You see, my 14 year-old brother has been dating a girl from his neighborhood since the beginning of the school year. Last weekend, he took her out for their first homecoming dance, and this weekend she got to meet the rest of the family. At this rate, they may be married by Christmas.
The general consensus of my family, though, is that he's too young and that the girl is a little too wild for him. I didn't start dating until I was nearly 19 (we met a couple of days before my birthday, always good for an easy present), and too this day am not big on the dating scene. However, my brother and I are polar opposites on the personality scale. While I'm more reserved and brooding, he's more outgoing and personable. While his girlfriend maybe a little more crazy, it looks more like they balance each other out than one taking on the personality of the other. So I say, good on ya. Don't listen to the family, as they're the reason why they've never met anyone I've been involved with and they probably won't until one day I show up married.
Random Thoughts
My Brother's Keeper
So, I was back home in Orlando this weekend for my little brother's Eagle Scout ceremony, the top honor in the world of Boy Scouts (I, on the other hand, didn't make it out of Cub Scouts... An old family motto is: "The outside is why mankind invented the inside."). So, big ups to him as I've seen pictures of him out on the camp-out and picked him up from a weekend long canoe trip in the pouring rain and cold.
But the topic of conversation yesterday wasn't my brother's achievement in the world of scouting, but in the world of dating. You see, my 14 year-old brother has been dating a girl from his neighborhood since the beginning of the school year. Last weekend, he took her out for their first homecoming dance, and this weekend she got to meet the rest of the family. At this rate, they may be married by Christmas.
The general consensus of my family, though, is that he's too young and that the girl is a little too wild for him. I didn't start dating until I was nearly 19 (we met a couple of days before my birthday, always good for an easy present), and too this day am not big on the dating scene. However, my brother and I are polar opposites on the personality scale. While I'm more reserved and brooding, he's more outgoing and personable. While his girlfriend maybe a little more crazy, it looks more like they balance each other out than one taking on the personality of the other. So I say, good on ya. Don't listen to the family, as they're the reason why they've never met anyone I've been involved with and they probably won't until one day I show up married.
Random Thoughts
- I was watching one of those "Scariest Police Chases" shows on SpikeTV over the weekend, when what should I see. Three of the segments were from right here in Pinellas County, Florida. They had a drunk trying to do a field sobriety test in Largo, a high speed chase down the Howard Frankland Bridge which is down the street from my apartment, and another chase down what appeared to be U.S. 19 in Clearwater. How about that for some civic pride?
- Speaking of which, I saw the aftermath of a high speed police pursuit this morning across the street from my apartment on my way to work this morning. I couldn't tell what kind of car it was because it was wrapped neatly around a palm tree, killing the passenger. I don't get why people run from the police. What are the odds you're actually going to get away??? 9000-1??? You're one person against the combined efforts of the city police, county sheriff, and state highway patrol! If you're willing to commit the crime, you better just face it when you get busted instead of trying to run like a punk.
- Well, I guess congrats to the Charlotte Bobcats for getting their first win Saturday night against my Orlando Magic. Their win came on the 16th anniversary of the Magic's first win back in 1988 against the New York Knicks (I was there). I guess the silver lining is that the Magic are at least 2-1 with some potential, unlike their 1-2 last year when you kind of sensed that something was wrong and it wouldn't be good.
November 03, 2004
Election Depression
Quote of Election Night:
"It may show sometimes voters are stupid."
Daniel Ruth, Tampa Tribune Columnist during election coverage on WFLA
And so it goes. As I'm writing this reports are running through the news that John Kerry has officially congratulated George W. Bush on his election victory last night. Dooming us to another four years of an inept government that will cost all of us trillions of dollars in deficit spending, future offensives in North Korea and Iran, increased health costs, and reduced domestic productivity as failed economic policies currently installed will be worsened with additional economic policies which are bound to fail. On the positive side, four more years of Baby Barbara and Jenna. Instead of having a boob pop out during this Inaugural Ball like Jenna did in 2000 (probably the greatest moment in C-SPAN history), this year the twins should just show up topless.
But now, I'm left to debate... "What other country may consider me for political asylum?" I hear Guatemala is beautiful this time of year. But just as Florida didn't drift off into the ocean in 1998 when Jeb Bush was elected, nor do I believe that another four years of Double-Duh will wipe this nation from the face of the Earth. I'm fixing to listen to the Al Franken Show on Air America to make sure he's handling the election OK and didn't hang himself from the deck of the USS Constitution.
So that's it. What more can one say? Our guy lost. It's kind of frustrating when you don't understand where other people are coming from that they would choose someone like Bush to be their leader, but what can you do?
In More Positive News...
Last night was the start of the new NBA season. I agree with Mark Cuban, the idea of starting the NBA season on Election Night was probably a big mistake. TNT, which was broadcasting two games nationally last night, made frequent cutaways to their sister-station CNN for updates. But, it was really nice to have a diversion from the disappointing election returns.
The Pistons took care of business in their first game as the defending champs, dispatching the Rockets 87-79 in a pretty tight game. The Ming/Mac Connection didn't really take off, with a combined 24 points, but they did account for a quarter of Houston's points for the game. It looks like T-Mac is going to be content reassuming his role on the Magic, as he took 25% of the Rockets shots. But, I think with the coaching of Jeff Van Gundy, he can lay the smack down on the Tracy Show and have him working better with his teammates as the season proceeds.
And just as I believe Tracy's return to his pre-trade last night won't be permanent, I think the same of the new Kobe, Team Player mirage from last night. I didn't get to see much of that game (they were having a Harvey Birdman marathon on Adult Swim), so I'm going by what I saw in the highlights this morning on SportsCenter. But, c'mon, Chris Mihm is not the next Shaq and the Nuggs - while they're going to be a good team - are not going to be a powerhouse of the West. The Lakers were handedly ahead after the first two periods, and put it on cruise control through the second half to take out Denver 89-78. But you know, the first game when they play a higher caliber team - say the Spurs on Friday night - and things aren't going well; Kobe's going to be putting up shots from all over the floor and trying to cut through the lane like the MJ-clone he thinks he is. And what's going to happen... A Tim Duncan or Kevin Garnett are just going to throw it back in his face. Because they're not going to feel the need to cover new big man Chris Mihm as tight as a Shaq, and are going to close the lane like the DOT (sorry, still bitter about the extra hour in traffic from Tampa to Orlando two weeks ago).
Random Thoughts
- I can proudly announce that Al Franken is still among the living and didn't try anything to drastic. But it doesn't sound like he's taking it too well. For a second there, I thought he was about to cry. Speaking of which, a pro-Bush co-worker here was joking with one of our fellow associates who was for Kerry, and nearly brought a woman who overheard them to tears. PEOPLE, SETTLE!!!
- You may remember my little tirade a year ago about networks placing their logo all over the screen during sporting events. This took a ridiculous turn while watching NBA preseason basketball last Friday night on ESPN. The network keeps their watermark in the bottom-right corner of the screen throughout their programming. During NBA coverage, they keep a little scoreboard right above it which is totally fine. But the scoreboard is predominantly composed of ANOTHER ESPN LOGO! Just in case we forget what channel we turned to, we've got it twice in the span of a couple of centimeters (well, at least on my crappy little TV).
- Another screen-hogging graphic that has to go... Last night's election coverage on our local ABC affiliate WFTS - Channel 28 (which I used to check our local races), was just absurd with the amount of space they took up with stupid stuff. Here's my lame artist rendering: www.geocities.com/jcoriddi/vote2004.bmp. That's right, only about a quarter of the screen had the actual coverage. The rest was a mass of graphics including the entire right side of the screen which offered the timeless advice that we were watching "Vote 2004". Now, CNN Headline News and Bloomberg Television also use graphics at the bottom and side of the screens, and while it's distracting, it at least provides some information. This was just shameless self-promotion. Now, I don't know if they had to do that to crop the screen proportionately or something, but c'mon! Smaller is the key.
- For those of you who tried to follow my advice to watch the Danica McKellar episode of Eve last night on UPN, they postponed it until next week. A sad attempt by UPN to get me to watch their network twice in one lifetime.
- Speaking of which, it's now time for my weekly "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy." Remember the good old days when a television "child" actor was a good five to seven years older than the character they portrayed. While the West Beverly crew on 90210 was only about three years older than me on TV, the actors who portrayed them were pulling down Social Security checks. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore, as is evidence by this weeks two "women" Daniella Monet of the CBS show Listen Up and Alia Shawkat of Fox's Arrested Development. I crushed on these two from watching their TV personas go through high school life and adolescence thinking that the 90210 Rule was still in effect. But these TV Teen Queens are in real life... Teens! Both coming in at the ripe old age of 15. But, growing up in Daytona we had a rule: If you like scamming on underage tail, make sure you hit more than one at the same time. That way you can add up their ages, and you're in the clear. Warped logic... Yes! But that comes from all the salt air mixed with race car exhaust that we breathe in over there. So with that, I present this week's "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" the lovely 30 year-old Daniella Shawkat.
October 26, 2004
Early Voting & You
I had forgotten to mention in some of my recent postings that I had followed my own advice and voted in the upcoming election last Wednesday. Again, I can't say enough how easy it is. I showed up at the polling center and was second in line, took about five minutes to have my information verified and get my ballot and about another five minutes to vote. Luckily, I got in there just before a bus full of senior citizens from a local retirement home began lining up.
Anyways, one thing that I've been hearing a lot about in discussions about the touch-screen voting machines is the prospect of "undervoting". This occurs when a choice is not made in a particular race, either by accident or on purpose. The fear is that people who inadvertantly skip over a particular race won't realize it and won't have the opportunity to go back and make a choice. Well, here in Pinellas County, our race for county sheriff is underwhelming to say the least. It's between Republican candidate Jim Coats, who used a county cable-access show on the role of the Sheriff's Department for his own good (while not inappropriate as he didn't promote his campaign, it's not necessarily fair to a challenger who doesn't have the same priviledge), and Democratic candidate Bubba Clem. If the name enough isn't a reason not to vote for him, he's probably better known as former radio shock-jock Bubba the Love Sponge who was thrown off of local station 98 Rock after station owner ClearChannel was fined $755,000 for material broadcast on his show. Anyways, between these two upstanding individuals it was too tough to make a choice, so I decided to vote for neither (too bad the machines don't allow for write-ins or else I would have put my perennial candidate, Peter Parker -- aka Spider-Man). So, I just move on and complete the rest of my ballot. When you're done, it takes you to a confirmation screen so you can double-check your selections. There in bold red was a box marking the sheriff's race as "NO SELECTION MADE". Since I already knew that, I clicked to submit my ballot where another big box popped on the screen saying "YOU HAVE NOT SELECTED A CHOICE FOR ALL POSITIONS", then stated that I had left the sheriff's election blank and allowed me to hit a button to go back to it. So, needless to say, I think the issue of "undervoting" isn't an issue at all. Just a matter of reading all of the available information the screens provide.
Random Thoughts for Florida Voters
Anyways, one thing that I've been hearing a lot about in discussions about the touch-screen voting machines is the prospect of "undervoting". This occurs when a choice is not made in a particular race, either by accident or on purpose. The fear is that people who inadvertantly skip over a particular race won't realize it and won't have the opportunity to go back and make a choice. Well, here in Pinellas County, our race for county sheriff is underwhelming to say the least. It's between Republican candidate Jim Coats, who used a county cable-access show on the role of the Sheriff's Department for his own good (while not inappropriate as he didn't promote his campaign, it's not necessarily fair to a challenger who doesn't have the same priviledge), and Democratic candidate Bubba Clem. If the name enough isn't a reason not to vote for him, he's probably better known as former radio shock-jock Bubba the Love Sponge who was thrown off of local station 98 Rock after station owner ClearChannel was fined $755,000 for material broadcast on his show. Anyways, between these two upstanding individuals it was too tough to make a choice, so I decided to vote for neither (too bad the machines don't allow for write-ins or else I would have put my perennial candidate, Peter Parker -- aka Spider-Man). So, I just move on and complete the rest of my ballot. When you're done, it takes you to a confirmation screen so you can double-check your selections. There in bold red was a box marking the sheriff's race as "NO SELECTION MADE". Since I already knew that, I clicked to submit my ballot where another big box popped on the screen saying "YOU HAVE NOT SELECTED A CHOICE FOR ALL POSITIONS", then stated that I had left the sheriff's election blank and allowed me to hit a button to go back to it. So, needless to say, I think the issue of "undervoting" isn't an issue at all. Just a matter of reading all of the available information the screens provide.
Random Thoughts for Florida Voters
- One thing that wasn't on my sample ballot that I got online from my local elections office (it was on the one I received in the mail) were the state supreme court and appeals court judges that are up for review. In my case, as a Liberal in a state with a conservative Republican governor and legislature, even if I disapproved of the actions of a particular judge he probably would have been replaced with another judge I disagreed with. So it probably didn't matter to me, but if you want to take the time to review the actions of particular judges I strongly encourage it.
- On my way to Orlando on Friday afternoon, I was able to listen to the WMNF show Critical Times where they were speaking with the president of the League of Pissed-Off Voters. While he was kinda out there (each time the announcer said his name, he would let out this "WHOOMP-POW!!!" sound), his and his organization's mission seems noble enough. On their website IndyVoter.org, they have voter's guides written by progressive (i.e. Liberal; no shame in the term for me) activists for communities throughout the country. So, if you care enough to want to know more about candidate running for local office, but don't want to do the research yourself, definitely see if a voter's guide is available for your area.
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