Election Depression

Quote of Election Night:

"It may show sometimes voters are stupid."

Daniel Ruth, Tampa Tribune Columnist during election coverage on WFLA

And so it goes. As I'm writing this reports are running through the news that John Kerry has officially congratulated George W. Bush on his election victory last night. Dooming us to another four years of an inept government that will cost all of us trillions of dollars in deficit spending, future offensives in North Korea and Iran, increased health costs, and reduced domestic productivity as failed economic policies currently installed will be worsened with additional economic policies which are bound to fail. On the positive side, four more years of Baby Barbara and Jenna. Instead of having a boob pop out during this Inaugural Ball like Jenna did in 2000 (probably the greatest moment in C-SPAN history), this year the twins should just show up topless.

But now, I'm left to debate... "What other country may consider me for political asylum?" I hear Guatemala is beautiful this time of year. But just as Florida didn't drift off into the ocean in 1998 when Jeb Bush was elected, nor do I believe that another four years of Double-Duh will wipe this nation from the face of the Earth. I'm fixing to listen to the Al Franken Show on Air America to make sure he's handling the election OK and didn't hang himself from the deck of the USS Constitution.

So that's it. What more can one say? Our guy lost. It's kind of frustrating when you don't understand where other people are coming from that they would choose someone like Bush to be their leader, but what can you do?

In More Positive News...

Last night was the start of the new NBA season. I agree with Mark Cuban, the idea of starting the NBA season on Election Night was probably a big mistake. TNT, which was broadcasting two games nationally last night, made frequent cutaways to their sister-station CNN for updates. But, it was really nice to have a diversion from the disappointing election returns.

The Pistons took care of business in their first game as the defending champs, dispatching the Rockets 87-79 in a pretty tight game. The Ming/Mac Connection didn't really take off, with a combined 24 points, but they did account for a quarter of Houston's points for the game. It looks like T-Mac is going to be content reassuming his role on the Magic, as he took 25% of the Rockets shots. But, I think with the coaching of Jeff Van Gundy, he can lay the smack down on the Tracy Show and have him working better with his teammates as the season proceeds.

And just as I believe Tracy's return to his pre-trade last night won't be permanent, I think the same of the new Kobe, Team Player mirage from last night. I didn't get to see much of that game (they were having a Harvey Birdman marathon on Adult Swim), so I'm going by what I saw in the highlights this morning on SportsCenter. But, c'mon, Chris Mihm is not the next Shaq and the Nuggs - while they're going to be a good team - are not going to be a powerhouse of the West. The Lakers were handedly ahead after the first two periods, and put it on cruise control through the second half to take out Denver 89-78. But you know, the first game when they play a higher caliber team - say the Spurs on Friday night - and things aren't going well; Kobe's going to be putting up shots from all over the floor and trying to cut through the lane like the MJ-clone he thinks he is. And what's going to happen... A Tim Duncan or Kevin Garnett are just going to throw it back in his face. Because they're not going to feel the need to cover new big man Chris Mihm as tight as a Shaq, and are going to close the lane like the DOT (sorry, still bitter about the extra hour in traffic from Tampa to Orlando two weeks ago).

Random Thoughts

• I can proudly announce that Al Franken is still among the living and didn't try anything to drastic. But it doesn't sound like he's taking it too well. For a second there, I thought he was about to cry. Speaking of which, a pro-Bush co-worker here was joking with one of our fellow associates who was for Kerry, and nearly brought a woman who overheard them to tears. PEOPLE, SETTLE!!!
• You may remember my little tirade a year ago about networks placing their logo all over the screen during sporting events. This took a ridiculous turn while watching NBA preseason basketball last Friday night on ESPN. The network keeps their watermark in the bottom-right corner of the screen throughout their programming. During NBA coverage, they keep a little scoreboard right above it which is totally fine. But the scoreboard is predominantly composed of ANOTHER ESPN LOGO! Just in case we forget what channel we turned to, we've got it twice in the span of a couple of centimeters (well, at least on my crappy little TV).
• Another screen-hogging graphic that has to go... Last night's election coverage on our local ABC affiliate WFTS - Channel 28 (which I used to check our local races), was just absurd with the amount of space they took up with stupid stuff. Here's my lame artist rendering: www.geocities.com/jcoriddi/vote2004.bmp. That's right, only about a quarter of the screen had the actual coverage. The rest was a mass of graphics including the entire right side of the screen which offered the timeless advice that we were watching "Vote 2004". Now, CNN Headline News and Bloomberg Television also use graphics at the bottom and side of the screens, and while it's distracting, it at least provides some information. This was just shameless self-promotion. Now, I don't know if they had to do that to crop the screen proportionately or something, but c'mon! Smaller is the key.
• For those of you who tried to follow my advice to watch the Danica McKellar episode of Eve last night on UPN, they postponed it until next week. A sad attempt by UPN to get me to watch their network twice in one lifetime.
• Speaking of which, it's now time for my weekly "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy." Remember the good old days when a television "child" actor was a good five to seven years older than the character they portrayed. While the West Beverly crew on 90210 was only about three years older than me on TV, the actors who portrayed them were pulling down Social Security checks. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore, as is evidence by this weeks two "women" Daniella Monet of the CBS show Listen Up and Alia Shawkat of Fox's Arrested Development. I crushed on these two from watching their TV personas go through high school life and adolescence thinking that the 90210 Rule was still in effect. But these TV Teen Queens are in real life... Teens! Both coming in at the ripe old age of 15. But, growing up in Daytona we had a rule: If you like scamming on underage tail, make sure you hit more than one at the same time. That way you can add up their ages, and you're in the clear. Warped logic... Yes! But that comes from all the salt air mixed with race car exhaust that we breathe in over there. So with that, I present this week's "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" the lovely 30 year-old Daniella Shawkat.