Back From the Depths

What's up, all my peoples?! Sorry about the lack of a post in a while. I had written a great contribution on Monday or Tuesday of last week, got nearly to the end, had to something else really quickly on my computer... And hit close instead of minimize and lost the entire contribution. And, as my readers probably know, I'm lazy and frankly didn't feel like trying to rewrite it. So, I come to you now after about two weeks. Welcome to the first contribution for May 2005 on AOwL.com.

"Obi-Wan Never Told You the Truth... I'm A Complete Sell Out"

We all know that I am on the cutting-edge of pop culture, so I feel that it's my duty to inform you that George Lucas, creator of the Star Wars film franchise, is releasing the sixth and "final" installment of the series on May 19th. I know that Lucas is attempting to keep it on the DL, but it's my responsibility as a blogger to break the news here first.

OK, subtlty is not something that Lucas and his corporate partners with Fox are known for. But as the opening of "Revenge of the Sith" approaches, the sight of all things Star Wars is a constant presence on television. But, it's not in the normal ways as commercials for the film, or the media hype machine (though you can sense it building like a tidal wave getting ready to break as the release date comes closer)... It's in the non-stop ads for Star Wars branded merchandise and other tie-ins. A trip through the local grocery store reveals so much Star Wars related food products and other goods that you may mistake it for that galaxy far, far away. So far, here's a quick recap of some of the related Star Wars tie-ins that I can just think of off the top of my head:

• Cingular - Star Wars themed cell phones, also running a contest for a Darth Vader themed Dodge Viper
• Lego - you can buy kits that turn into Star Wars vehicles and set pieces, there's also a Star Wars video game featuring Lego creations
• 7-Eleven - new Slurpee flavor named after Darth Vader
• Cheetos - new Star Wars packaging on "Extreme" Cheetos
• M&M's - new dark chocolate M&M's with Darth Vader tie-in
• MBNA - offering Star Wars credit cards (I don't necessarily think this is a new thing, but I just started seeing it advertised recently)
• Wal-Mart - offering an exclusive, limited edition set of Star Wars action figures
  

And the thing is, if I actually felt like looking it up, I'm sure that I could find countless, countless more. The thing is, as a marketing graduate, there's almost a certain amount of respect that I have for George Lucas. It's like, as a guy, when you go into a club and see a guy who's just got that certain way with the ladies. It kills you that he can get any woman in the bar that he wants, but you've got to appreciate the amount of game that he has. Every time I see some Star Wars related crap, it's like a little piece of something I held so dear as a kid dies. But, you've gotta respect how George Lucas seizes any opportunity to milk that cash cow. You know that, no matter what, that Star Wars emblem on any piece of junk is going to help sell it. And the fanboys who are so anti-commercial... You know that while they may not buy the merchandise, do you think they're actually NOT going to see the movie in protest. They may just choose to restrict themselves to seeing it two or three times the first day.

So, as much as it pains me, you go George Lucas. That Star Wars franchise is like Midas' golden touch, and if I am so lucky, one day I'll have the same opportunities.

Greatest New Radio Station - Maxim Radio

As you probably remember from one of my posts from back in December, I am the happy owner of a Sirius Satellite Radio system. At the time, some of the literature noted that there was going to be a future channel licensed by Maxim Magazine. What these two have produced is my dream radio station, Maxim Radio. Quite literally, I've always wanted to start my own radio station and it's pretty much what they're now doing with Maxim Radio; a talk radio station targetting young men with fun topics and great music. While they unfortunately don't have a morning show (what radio station doesn't have a morning drive show), and they mostly run repeats of the week's shows on the weekends, it's still a station that I have a hard time turning off. I just have to give a shot out to the four shows currently airing; Covino & Rich (12-4), Bower (4-8), Evan & Brian (8-12), and Demos (weekend afternoons); for just being so insanely funny day in and day out. Now, you just need some fresh bumpers as some of them have been playing since prior to the station going on the air.

The Day Has Finally Arrived

Well, many a fanboy has had today's date, Sunday, May 1st, marked on their calendar since late-January. That's when it was announced the Fox would return the animated cult hit Family Guy to the airwaves with new episodes. In addition, Fox is launching new episodes of The Simpsons and another Seth McFarland vehicle, American Dad. Based on the preview episode of American Dad which aired following the Super Bowl as well as another snippet that showed prior to Fever Pitch, it looks like another great show. I'll admit, I'm totally excited to see what Family Guy is going to be like with a new lease on life with the additional caveat that Fox probably loosened the leash of the show's creators when they saw the potential of the series. I'll probably have more to say on all of the new shows in next week's blog.

Random Thoughts

• Well, in last week's post that wasn't, I had selected a new "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" but you guys totally missed out on it. But, to give a beautiful woman her due, it was Karin Anna Cheung from the 2003 film "Better Luck Tomorrow." This woman is so incredibly gorgeous, and yet checking out her filmography on IMDB.com, she hasn't really been in anything before or since that movie. Hello Hollywood producers?!?! I mean, the finale of "Better Luck Tomorrow" has a guy who harbors a crush for her character killing off her boyfriend (it was John Cho, i.e. Harold of "Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle"), chopping him to pieces, and then burying him in his backyard to score a date with her. Then, when looking at her, it doesn't seem so inplausible that a guy would go to such a length. That's how hot she is! So, instead of my usual weekly plea for the "Woman I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" to try reversing the tables and stalk me, I implore Hollywood to give this girl's agent a call and put her in more stuff. It's my duty to make this girl the next hot Asian starlet... Then I'll hit her up for a date, but in my usual lazy way.
• A lot is being made about Phil Jackson's potential return to the NBA and his choice between returning to the Lakers, going back to his roots with the Knicks, or potentially tutoring the next big thing Lebron James in Cleveland. But, Mr. Jackson, here's a pitch for you... Do you really want to deal with Kobe again? Or how about Isiah's ineptitude in the front office in New York? And Cleveland??? Contrary to the song, Cleveland definitely does not rock. So, how about taking a chance and going to "The City Beautiful" as head coach of the Orlando Magic? Here me out on this... The Magic definitely are in the need to make a splash in a community that's growing increasingly apathetic towards its franchise. Management would probably be willing to agree to any terms you want. With a relatively fresh GM who didn't exactly make a splash last year, he could probably have that job too if he wanted it. You have a potential star to mold with Dwight Howard, a superstar who may be on the declining side of his career in Grant Hill but showed great potential last year, and a ton of cap space following next season. So, you've got a year to work with what you've got and scout out what you need during the following offseason. Plus, in a small town like Orlando, you'll be treated like a God. The Magic get a superstar coach who can probably add butts to seats all by himself, and the publicity boom may be able to pus the new arena through that the Magic so desparately want. And the team itself could definitely benefit from a coach with eight championship rings... This is a can't lose proposition. I suspect that they would be able to make a run at the title in the second season! So Phil, I'm just giving you something to think about. I'm sure you're a faithful AOwL.com reader, and this is all I ask for the countless three minutes I provide every week when I feel like writing it.
• Speaking of trying to do good for my favorite sports franchises, two websites have sprung up recently to force out Devil Rays general manager Vince Naimoli. The funny thing is that they're planning a one inning fan strike at an upcoming game... I think the existing fan strike of people just NOT GOING TO THE GAME TO START WITH is working just fine.

OK, the battery on my laptop is about to die, so rather than losing another post I'll wrap this week's post up. Have a great week!