Early Voting & You

I had forgotten to mention in some of my recent postings that I had followed my own advice and voted in the upcoming election last Wednesday. Again, I can't say enough how easy it is. I showed up at the polling center and was second in line, took about five minutes to have my information verified and get my ballot and about another five minutes to vote. Luckily, I got in there just before a bus full of senior citizens from a local retirement home began lining up.

Anyways, one thing that I've been hearing a lot about in discussions about the touch-screen voting machines is the prospect of "undervoting". This occurs when a choice is not made in a particular race, either by accident or on purpose. The fear is that people who inadvertantly skip over a particular race won't realize it and won't have the opportunity to go back and make a choice. Well, here in Pinellas County, our race for county sheriff is underwhelming to say the least. It's between Republican candidate Jim Coats, who used a county cable-access show on the role of the Sheriff's Department for his own good (while not inappropriate as he didn't promote his campaign, it's not necessarily fair to a challenger who doesn't have the same priviledge), and Democratic candidate Bubba Clem. If the name enough isn't a reason not to vote for him, he's probably better known as former radio shock-jock Bubba the Love Sponge who was thrown off of local station 98 Rock after station owner ClearChannel was fined $755,000 for material broadcast on his show. Anyways, between these two upstanding individuals it was too tough to make a choice, so I decided to vote for neither (too bad the machines don't allow for write-ins or else I would have put my perennial candidate, Peter Parker -- aka Spider-Man). So, I just move on and complete the rest of my ballot. When you're done, it takes you to a confirmation screen so you can double-check your selections. There in bold red was a box marking the sheriff's race as "NO SELECTION MADE". Since I already knew that, I clicked to submit my ballot where another big box popped on the screen saying "YOU HAVE NOT SELECTED A CHOICE FOR ALL POSITIONS", then stated that I had left the sheriff's election blank and allowed me to hit a button to go back to it. So, needless to say, I think the issue of "undervoting" isn't an issue at all. Just a matter of reading all of the available information the screens provide.

Random Thoughts for Florida Voters

• One thing that wasn't on my sample ballot that I got online from my local elections office (it was on the one I received in the mail) were the state supreme court and appeals court judges that are up for review. In my case, as a Liberal in a state with a conservative Republican governor and legislature, even if I disapproved of the actions of a particular judge he probably would have been replaced with another judge I disagreed with. So it probably didn't matter to me, but if you want to take the time to review the actions of particular judges I strongly encourage it.
• On my way to Orlando on Friday afternoon, I was able to listen to the WMNF show Critical Times where they were speaking with the president of the League of Pissed-Off Voters. While he was kinda out there (each time the announcer said his name, he would let out this "WHOOMP-POW!!!" sound), his and his organization's mission seems noble enough. On their website IndyVoter.org, they have voter's guides written by progressive (i.e. Liberal; no shame in the term for me) activists for communities throughout the country. So, if you care enough to want to know more about candidate running for local office, but don't want to do the research yourself, definitely see if a voter's guide is available for your area.

Message to Miss Simpson: Milli Vanilli Called - They're Embarrassed For You

Good morning, everyone. Well, I plopped on the Tivo yesterday and got to see the performance that everyone was talking about: Ashlee Simpson's performance on Saturday Night Live from over the weekend. In case you haven't heard about it yet, Simpson was out on stage to perform her second song of the evening. As the band started up, the vocals for the first song she performed kicked in as she was still getting ready to perform. In other words, she was busted trying to lip-synch. The best was, at the end of the show where they gather the performers together to say good night, she blamed HER BAND for performing the wrong song. I take it "her band" being the guy in the control booth who hits the play button. Now, her father is blaming acid reflux disease. Just sad.

But this goes a little bit further, and people lip-synching in concerts. We all know that nowadays a lot of artists do it. Janet Jackson once admitted to it, stating that the dance routines that she does leave her to winded to actually sing, which is a valid reason. BUT, then what's the point seeing them in concert. You're pretty much just getting a live performance of a music video. Is that worth $50 a ticket? In my opinion, no. I could sit at home and watch you on MTV with a better view and better sound quality for a lot less. Probably part of the reason why they're reporting that many concert tours didn't do too well over the summer (I'm sure though that the #1 reason by far is the ticket price).

Farewell to 'The Office'

Since I already had the Tivo kickin', I decided to also take in the special grand finale episode of "The Office", a British sitcom that has been running on BBC America. For those of you who don't keep up with the "Britcoms", this show was a faux-documentary about a group of cubicleites at a British paper company called Wernham Hogg. The show is based around the often eccentric boss of the firm David Brent, his flunkie Gareth, and the only voice of reason Tim.

The finale, which ran over the weekend, shows what has happened to the Wernham Hogg group three years after the documentary "aired" on BBC 2. In the final regular episode of the series, David was fired as the district manager, so in this episode we see what he's done with himself over the previous three years. Unfortunately for him, his raging ego and lust for the spotlight have made him a sad individual as he makes "celebrity" public appearances at local pubs and is a travelling salesman for janitorial products. However, he still makes random appearances at his former employer where his old position was taken over by his protege Gareth (who is the only one who pretty much seems the same from then to now). Sadly, Tim seems a much sadder individual as a mind-numbing job can have that affect on you over time (just ask me). In addition, the last episode showed the woman he cared for leaving with her fiance for the United States just as he gains the courage to tell her how he truly felt.

Unlike American sitcoms, this episode doesn't have the typical happy ending. Rachel doesn't get off the plane, Monica & Chandler don't have twins and move off to Long Island, and Joey doesn't get a spin-off. In keeping with its documentary feel, it just allows for the finals ends to be tied together as you realize that these people's lives are still on-going. Great series and great ending! Unfortunately, after ruining my favorite BBC series Coupling, NBC will be taking a stab next year with an American version of The Office (didn't they already try that once with the Fred Savage series "Working"). Can't imagine that it'll even be able to come close to the original.

Random Thoughts

• Because I know you want to know here's "Other Stuff Currently Saved on my Tivo"
1. Two episodes of American Chopper from the Discovery Channel (the one's where
   they build the Lance Armstrong bike)
2. Yesterday's airing of Coyote Ugly on USA
3. The Shield from Sunday night on FX
• Since I mentioned the show "Working" (which I was a fan of back in the day), remember the episode where Winnie Cooper made a guest appearance as the boss's "bad" daughter in that leather outfit??? PURRR!!! That's why this week's "Girl I'd Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" is Danica McKellar. She'll probably only be remembered as Winnie Cooper, the girl every guy wish they had living next door to them from "The Wonder Years", but she's also incredibly brilliant as she took time out of her acting career to pursue a degree in mathematics from UCLA. She'll even help you with your math homework (send questions to math@danicamckellar.com). Gorgeous, and smart too. Almost makes me want to get off my lazy ass, but.... Nah... Instead, I can get my Danica fix and be lazy as she'll be making a guest appearance on the UPN show Eve next Tuesday night. If ever there was a reason to watch anything on UPN, this would be it. If you go to her website, you have to go to her Fan Mail section, because it just perfectly illustrates the type of person she is.
• Did anyone see the on-court fight last night between the Bulls and Wizards? Finally, the people who actually would pay to go see a preseason matchup between the Bulls and Wizards get their money's worth. Now, if only the Atlanta Hawks had throwdowns every night.

Where Do We Go Now?!

A rip-off of a lyric from "Sweet Child O' Mine", but after the Red Sox defeated the Yankees for the American League pennant, it begs you to question, is the end near?!

Concert Review

September 19th - Beastie Boys "The Pageant Tour" w/Talib Kweli

This was one of the most anticipated concerts of my life for me. I've been a Beastie Boys fans since "Licensed to Ill" dropped when I was nine years-old. I had tickets to see their 2000 "Rhyme & Reason Tour" with Rage Against the Machine in Chicago, which in my eyes would have been the equivalent of Kurt Cobain coming back from the dead to do a reunion tour with Nirvana, but alas Mike D hurt his shoulder and Rage broke up ruining my dream line-up.

So, after eighteen years of waiting, I finally got to see the Beastie Boys live. I have to say that I came in not really expecting much. The Beastie Boys aren't exactly "boys" anymore (the oldest, MCA, just turned 40 this year), and I had read some say that they didn't delve much into their older material when they played live. So I was stunned when the first song they come out to is "Egg Man" off of their 1989 album "Paul's Boutique" (which lead to the added promise that they weren't just going to stick to their radio hits). Some other great moments include: A standard wardrobe change that revealed a full-band as the Beasties launched into some of their instrumental material, starting off with a personal fave of mine "Sabrosa" (which when I get my own late-night talk show, that will totally be the opening music); a sing-along version of my favorite Beasties song "Paul Revere"; performing "Intergalactic" from the arena's club section; and then the grand finale of the full band being teamed up with Beasties DJ Mix Master Mike for "Sabotage" which was dedicated to the Bush administration.

Opening act Talib Kweli did a decent job of warming up the crowd. However, the sound quality of his set wasn't as good as that of the Beasties, leading my friend to make the comment that it sounded like he was making announcements at a train station. "Put your hands up, put 'em up, put 'em up, the 12:15 train from Wilkes-Barre is running 45 minutes late." The show was kicked off by a Vegas dog show act to the amusement of the audience. Pretty cute way to start a show off.

The Beasties' "The Pageant Tour" has just nine more stops in North America before heading for a brief December tour of Europe. I can't encourage a Beasties fan or just a fan of old school hip-hop to check out this show.

The Death of Journalism - Sinclair Style

Well, after pressure, mostly from Sinclair Broadcasting shareholders, they have backed off their attempt to air the anti-Kerry documentary "Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal". Instead, tonight they will be airing a different special called "POW Story: Politics, Pressure, and the Media". The special says they will air just portions of the "Stolen Honor" film with clips of other political documentaries (which they haven't revealed, so once again, we can't tell how "objective" Sinclair's going to choose to be) and discuss... Well I don't know what exactly. To me, it sounds like they're trying to have their cake and eat it too. They're still going to air probably the most damning portions of the documentary, and then they're going to talk about how they're being cast as a pariah for being the only media outlet to discuss this issue (a load of shit according to St. Petersburg Times columnist Eric Deggans who stated that MSNBC's Hardball with Chris Matthews did an entire segment on the film back in September, and several other media outlets including the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the Boston Herald, had run articles on the claims made in the film long before Sinclair announced they were going to broadcast it).

For those of you in the Tampa Bay area still interested in this "news" story, local Sinclair station WTTA - Channel 38 will be airing the special tonight at 8pm. Unfortunately, I'll be in Sinclair-less Orlando tonight, and this crap really isn't worth the space on my Tivo to watch when I come back Sunday (I had actually planned on watching the special when it was set to air last night).

Random Thoughts

• Tuesday's Beastie Boys concert was a new experience for me, as for the first time I viewed a show from the elite club level of the St. Pete Times Forum. Nothing like watching a group that professes their hatred of evil corporations from seats owned by a large accounting firm. It was a motley group of young professionals, older Beasties fans, and kids who must of had their parents by their tickets. Yet everyone seemed to mix well and party together. The couple sitting to my right, though, seemed like they didn't belong as they just sat there stone-faced like they were waiting for Cher to come out. To our left though was a woman who appeared to be in her mid-30s who seemed to be having the time of her life. In front of us was a group of college kids, reeking of weed, and you know the lone guy you normally see at a club dancing by themself... Well imagine like eight of them strung together and you have this group.
• I'm torn on whom I'm going to cheer for in the World Series starting this weekend. To the Cardinals, I'm pretty impartial. I remember cheering for them in '85 against the Royals. But it's the Red Sox, I just can't stand the whining of their fans! But, as a guy who grew up watching the Cubs on WGN, it would be nice to see one team to break their curse. Gives a little hope to the Cubbies after having a disappointing season this year.

Vote Early, Vote Often

Yesterday marked the start of the Early Voting program offered here in the state of Florida and 29 other states throughout the country (other states offer it with a valid reason). I can't implore you enough, vote early unless you're a traditionalist who likes to wait until the first Tuesday of November to cruise into your local precinct.

There's many reasons, but today's St. Petersburg Times provides an excellent example of why I believe it's important. In the relatively modest roll-out of early voting throughout the state, problems arose. Computer malfunctions caused giant lines at sites that still had the ability to vote, other sites were forced to turn voters away while they repaired their systems. Could you imagine if this had happened on Election Day? What if you don't have time to wait or the ability to come back before polls close? Reason #2, the Florida ACLU was pushing for provisional ballots to be given to registered voters who turn-up at the wrong precinct but the state supreme court put the nix on that. So, if your precinct has moved or you just don't know where to go, you better have the time to find out and get their or you don't get to vote. If you vote early, it doesn't matter where your precinct is as each early voting site is open for all precincts in your county. Reason #3, if you show up at an early voting site where they tell you you're not eligible (for whatever reason), you at least have two weeks to try to correct things before election day.

And the process can't be less painless. Just show up, present your registration card with a picture ID, you'll sign an affidavit saying that you're not going to try to vote again, and you'll be on your way with a ballot. During the primaries, I went in on a Friday afternoon and was out in less than five minutes (because it was a primary and I'm a registered Green, there were only three things for me to vote for).

So please, come out and vote. Unless you're still undecided, this is definitely the way to go!

I Yak More Than That Dude in Team America

Happy Monday, everyone! Hope that everyone had a great weekend, but unfortunately, it's time to get back to work. Blah. Hey, the Magic finally won. Maybe I spoke too soon of them sucking (or maybe they're just good against other teams that don't play defense).

New Reality Show Concept: Extreme Paint Drying

For those of you who subscribe to DirecTV like myself, you know that last weekend was the Total Choice Premier preview weekend. For those of you not in the know, that pretty much means that we get pretty much any cable channel in creation.

So, I finally got to see Al Franken's show on the Sundance Channel. When I first heard about it, I heard that it was going to be a talk show similar to his radio show on the Air America network... Turns out it IS his radio show. How did this concept for a television show get popular. "Boss, I've got a great idea for our next hit. We find a popular radio personality, then videotape them doing their show, then replay it on TV!" I remember the first show that I saw in that format was The Fabulous Sports Babe on ESPN2 back in the day. First off, with her, they used the term "babe" very loosely. But it was just her, sitting in a studio by herself, taking phone calls. Didn't they have some darts or mud buggy races to show on the air? Now you have Imus in the Morning on MSNBC, Mike & Mike In the Morning on ESPNews, Mike & the Mad Dog on YES... You see where I'm going. Seeing these guys on TV doesn't add to the draw. Just shows how cheap networks are with their programming now.

Of course, there are exceptions. Notice I didn't mention Howard Stern's show on E! Also, a local radio show the Monsters of the Morning used to have a show that came on cable-access in Orlando. The differences in these shows is that it offers a little something extra than just watching people talk on the radio. Stern obviously shows the beautiful women who come on the show; the Monsters would show clips from their concerts and on-air bits that they had performed around Orlando.

Random Thoughts

• After posting my "Girl I Would Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy" yesterday, I then watched two movies that also featured incredibly gorgeous Asian women. First was was the totally hot Qi Shu in The Transporter, then the even hotter Fann Wong from Shanhai Knights. I tell you, I prefer watching totally hot women to a bunch of guys in tights slapping each other around any day.

The Weekend Edition

Hey everyone! Hope that everyone is enjoying a little time off. After working seven days a week for three weeks, I've decided to take a day off myself. So, I can sit here and talk to you as I watch a little of the foozball.

The L Word

It seems like, in the last month of the campaign, the Bush Team has decided to go back into the old standby attack: Casting John Kerry as a "liberal." OH MY GOD, HE'S A LIBERAL, HIDE THE CHILDREN! It's to the point that if Dale Jr. used the word "liberal" in a post-race interview, NASCAR would fine him $50,000.

So, when did the word "liberal" become such a dirty term in the world of politics? Franklin Roosevelt is revered for his leadership through the Depression and World War II, and he was one of the most liberal presidents in American history. John F. Kennedy led a liberal agenda of civil rights and social responsibility, and people still look back admirably towards his administration. Now, the president paints Kerry as "the most liberal senator in Massachusetts" and he's got to defend himself from that. It's time to take pride in the term. Conservatism is what the public should defile, not being a liberal. What have conservatives done for the general public? Reagan's record deficits leading to Bush's policy of record deficits (and guess who gets to pay that off). An environmental policy of chop it down, pave it over, and build a Wal-Mart on top of it. So, now he's casting Kerry as a "tax-and-spend liberal." I don't know about you, but I prefer that over a "lower taxes-and-not pay for it" conservatives.

And Bush says that liberals are weak leaders. Well, he likes to bring up the sacrifices of the "Coalition of the Willing." One of the few nations that supported the effort by actually supplying troops was Australia. The prime minister of Australia, John Howard, is the leader of the Australian Liberal Party. Canada, is our leading global trading partner, and the upcoming administration is going to have to work closely with their government to improve our strained relationship with them. Their leader, Paul Howard, is leader of the Canadian Liberal Party. Even Tony Blair, the British prime minister, is head of the Labour Party, which considers themselves as a "democratic socialist party." Mr. President, it denigrates alliances and discounts sacrifices these nations have made to cast liberals in such a negative light.

Movie Review

Team America: World Police - B

Probably the only movie of the upcoming late-Fall/Winter season, I've been excited for Team America since I first heard that Trey Parker and Matt Stone were working on a Thunderbirds-style spoof of America's policy of global-policing. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut is definitely in my list of Top 5 Favorite Comedies, and their live-action spoof on professional sports Baseketball would probably been in my personal Top 20.

But this film would probably score, in my opinion, in the Orgazmo level. While the movie does make a lot of great points on the modern political culture, it's not done in a way as funny as the South Park film's look at "modern parenting." Many of the film's jokes are just poking fun at the fact that these are puppets doing these things. While, in the often-cited love scene, it comes out as one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen in the movie, for most of the film it's just kind of blah. Kim Jong-Il, the movie's antagonist, doesn't come off as absurdly comical as Saddam Hussein did in the South Park film.

I guess, in conclusion, the film is a great spoof of the culture of celebrity activism. But, while the South Park film I had to see three times just to get all of the jokes because I'd laugh so hard at one that I'd miss two, this movie didn't have any of those types of moments. Definitely a must-see experience if you're a fan of South Park-style humor, but didn't really live up to the excitement I had going into the film.

Random Thoughts

• I got to see my beloved Magic get hammered by the Miami Heat at the St. Pete Times Forum on Friday night. Rather than go into the boredom that was watching the Magic miss any shot from more than five feet from the hoop, I have to say that this was one of the most awkward experiences of my life. The crowd at the game was a lot larger than I had expected (partially due to the fact that Shaq was in the building -- but didn't play -- and there were a lot of free tickets given out), so my hope of sneaking down to better seats was squashed. This problem was magnified by the fact that the guy sitting next to me had the WORST BREATH EVER! Like my cat not covering his litter box bad! To the point that I wanted to brush my own teeth five times just to make sure that I never subject anyone to that type of stench. I wanted to move away so bad, but there was nowhere else to go to. On top of it, I sat in an aisle seat, and on the other side of the aisle was this group of four really cute women. So, I was trying to think of a way to get in with them, but was afraid that if this guy even sneezed in their direction or something they'd smell it and think that I crapped my pants or something. I mean, WOW!!! How can you let it get that bad, man?! Anyways, something had to be said, but because I'm passive-agressive, this is my only outlet to do so.
• Meanwhile, the Magic are off to an 0-3 start in the preseason. Last year they went 1-8 in the preseason, then went on to win just one game in the first month and a half of the regular season. Just like last year, this team looks like they should be good, but just haven't really shown anything. They can't shoot, when they do shoot they take bad perimeter shots way too quickly, they don't play defense. I don't get it. And with so many new faces on the team, it's not like they can learn from the lessons of last season since so few of them were there to experience it. Looks like another long season for the boys in blue, black, and silver.
• Just watched what had to be one of the strangest reality specials that I have ever seen. On the recommendation of Howard Stern, I watched the VH1 special (Inside)Out: Hulk Hogan, Stage Dad which shows the involvement of the Hulkster in his daughter Brooke's singing career. There's just something perversly captivating by how weird this whole family dynamic is. First, I live in St. Petersburg, Florida and the Hogan's live in nearby Clearwater, so anything negative I may write might grant me an introduction to the Hulk's 24-inch pythons. But you're hooked just minutes into the show when you find out that the Hulk keeps his dead goldfish in a bowl in his freezer!!! Then, the way that he keeps having to mention to any guy who comes in a ten-foot radius of his daughter that she's only 15. Then the creepy guy who tried to hook up with her at an autograph signing appearance. It's probably the best spent hour of my week so far (my week just being eleven hours old, so far). Then, the climatic moment at the end where Hulk and Brooke shed tears when hearing her first single on the radio is offset by the fact that there's this lady sitting with them in the limo who looks like she's had her make-up done by one of the clowns from Cirque du Soleil. If the folks at VH1 have any sense, these guys could be the new Osbournes.
• Time for my first edition of "Woman I Would Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy." I think that I have the mentality to be a great stalker: lack of ability to talk with women I'm attracted to, way too much free time, and an obsessive personality. The only problem is that I have no motivation to even get out of my rocking chair, let alone to go through all of the effort to stalk a woman (and no where near that to overcome my personality quirks to actually ask one out). So, I give you my first "Woman I Would Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy." Today's is Tomoko Kojima, a member of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders. Look at her... She's so cute! And we've got so much in common. She has a Japanese rabbit, I have no idea what the difference between a Japanese and American rabbit are (but I'm willing to learn). She likes working with kids, I can tolerate being around kids for short amounts of time. We both like the film Lost In Translation... I mean this is the foundation for a great relationship. As the world's laziest stalker, I'm not coming to you so you can feel free to come to me.

The Presidential Debates: The Common Cure to Insomnia

As promised, I said that I would give my opinion on the presidential debates. First, a major disclaimer. I am a member of the Green Party and, if you couldn't tell from the previous post, am choosing to break with my party and vote for John Kerry in the upcoming election. Mostly, I think that President Bush has the possibility of going down as the worst administration in the modern era (by that, I mean post-FDR), and while I don't totally support Kerry I feel he's the best option to correct the disastrous course are nation has taken.

I strongly encourage anyone who watched the debate to follow up on what was said by using an independent resource such as the University of Pennsylvania's FactCheck.org (and not FactCheck.com as Vice President Cheney said during his debate). These websites take claims made during debates, campaign appearances, and television ads and casts them in the proper light or debunks them all together.

Finally, I didn't watch the debate or any since the first one from the University of Miami. Instead, I've listened to the rebroadcasts available on NPR's website. So I couldn't view their demeanor or non-verbal communication expressed during the debates, only what was said.

So, here's some comments on last night's debate:

• First, can we please get off of the topic of Dick Cheney's daughter. In 1960, the Republicans tried to throw the fact that John F. Kennedy was a Catholic in everyone's face. This term, the Kerry team is trying to do the same with the sexual preference of Dick Cheney's daughter. Now I'm a realist and know that if the situation was reversed and one of Kerry's daughters was a lesbian this would have been a HUGE campaign issue, but since the Christian Coalition supports the Republican ticket we're not really hearing about. Unfortunately, that's the way it should have remained.
• Secondly, the tax cut. I'm a 27 year-old, single male with no children. Kerry had my predicament pegged right on the head. Since I don't qualify for a child tax credit nor did I suffer under the unbearable burden of the "marriage penalty", I didn't qualify for ANY tax cut. Instead, even with cost of living adjustments and annual raises, my most recent tax return showed a DECLINE in take-home pay of over $350 between 2002 and 2003. The decrease stemmed from a rise in the premium of the health insurance plan offered by my employer, which went up again at the beginning of this year.
• In each of the debates following the first, President Bush and Vice President Cheney mentioned a reference that Kerry made to a "global test" in response to a question on preemptive attacks. So, lets revisit the first debate and focus in on that question:

LEHER: New question. Two minutes, Senator Kerry. What is your position on the whole concept of preemptive war?

KERRY: (excerpt) But if and when you do it, Jim, you have to do it in a way that passes the test, that passes the global test where your countrymen, your people understand fully why you're doing what you're doing and you can prove to the world that you did it for legitimate reasons.

OK, sounds more to me that he's talking about using the definition of "global" as "covering a wide scope" and not saying that anytime the U.S. faces a threat we have to get approval from a world organization such as the United Nations. Pretty much, to put it in Bush English "make sure you're doing the right thing". But, it can be kinda vague until you look at the sentence RIGHT BEFORE THIS STATEMENT:

KERRY: (excerpt) No president, through all of American history, has ever ceded, and nor would I, the right to preempt in any way necessary to protect the United States of America.

So it goes from Bush possibly not understanding the multiple definitions of the word "global" (his grasp of the English language was highlighted by his attempt to pronounce the word "exaggeration") to a blatant attempt to mislead the American public.
• Back to Bush's "ex-ag-ger-A-shun" line, John Kerry referenced a quote where Bush made some startling references to the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Bush's response to that:

  BUSH: Gosh, I just don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those exaggerations.

  Well golly gee, Mr. President, lets refresh your memory as we go all the way back to a press conference you held on March 13th, 2002. When a postage stamp cost just 34 cents and gas was under $2 a gallon.

  Q: Mr. President, in your speeches now you rarely talk or mention Osama bin Laden. Why is that? Also, can you tell the American people if you have any more information, if you know if he is dead or alive? Final part, deep in your heart, don't you truly believe that until you find out if he is dead or alive, you won't really eliminate the threat of...

  BUSH: (excerpt) So I don't know where he is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on him Kelly, to be honest with you.

  Q: But don't you believe that the threat that bin Laden posed won't truly be eliminated until he is found either dead or alive?

  BUSH: (excerpt) I... I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him.

I don't know about you Mr. President, but it sounds to me that Kerry didn't make an exaggeration... He damn near quoted you VERBATIM (Sorry, sorry... Got back to using those big FSU words. Let me get it back into how you Yale graduates would say it... "He done said exactly what you done said"). And folks, don't just take my word for it. I admittedly will say that I cut out portions of his quote regarding this manner. But you can listen to the press conference and hear for yourself. I remember when you said this Mr. President. I was STUNNED that just six months following the attacks in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania that not only did you not know where bin Laden was... You didn't even care!!! It's almost like over 3,000 deaths in the U.S., 137 American casualties in Afghanistan, an additional 25 casualties to coalition forces aren't worth your time.

There's so, so much more that I can get into, and I'll try again soon. Just one man's observations of last night's events.

Blog Wars Episode VI: Return of the Owl

Aww yeah... I'm back, and I'm ringin' a bell, I'm rockin' on the mic while the fly girls yell! C'mon, you know you missed me. Your lives have known nothing but emptiness since the Grand Owl's words of wisdom evaporated around this time last year. I mean, I live the life of the Owl 24-7-365, but you, my people out there in Internet Land, only got a quick blog a week and then nothing. And frankly, I now realize that it's not fair to you.

Nah, I'm just kiddin'! Hi to all of my old readers (both of you) and welcome to any new ones who stumbled across my blog by mistake. I'm your host, the Grand Owl. For super old schoolers, I wrote the daily "IHOD" back in college on Angelfire (where you too can create your own website with enough pop-ups to take down a mainframe) and the creatively titled "Grand Owl's Blog" here on Blog Spot last year. But, I'm back under my old website's name "AOwL.com" (as Hammer might say, "Please Time Warner, don't sue me").

I would like to say that I was inspired to write again as a counter-point to my friend's conservative blog, but lets face it, I got a hard-on from reading The Washingtonienne and the people must hear of my randy and explicit sex life. Here are the tawdry details in chronological order:

1. Ummm well, there was this one time when I was really drunk and well... she didn't look so fat at the time...
2. Umm, well I was totally wasted and... Hey, I thought she looked like a chick!
3. This one time, at band camp...

Whew, feels so good to get that off my chest. Now, on with the blog!

"Why John Kerry's a Nazi Who Wants to Eat Your Children", presented commercial-free by the Sinclair Broadcast Group

Next Thursday night on our local WB affiliate here in the Tampa Bay area, WTTA - Channel 38, they will present a special titled "The Point: Stolen Honor". The highlight of this "news special" will be a 42-minute documentary called "Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal" which spotlights John Kerry's role in the anti-war movement following his tour in Vietnam. More specifically, his testimony in front of a Congressional committee where he spoke of war atrocities committed against the Vietnamese people and the affect that testimony had on prisoners of war being held overseas.

Where, oh where to start. Lets first start with Sinclair, the owners of 62 television stations throughout the country. The chain of stations, through their nightly newscasts called NewsCentral which blend a mix of local news stories and a national news show, has been pushing a conservative agenda since the broadcasts began airing earlier this year. Now, I'm not going to blast the newscasts even though they're extremely poor production-wise (you can learn more about current news in the community by putting your ear close to the ground like an Indian searching for buffalo), and focus on their nightly editorials called "The Point" and hosted by Sinclair Broadcasting vice president Mark Hyman. This one minute segment alone makes Fox News look like a puppet of the liberal left-wing media. For two weeks in September, "The Point" turned into a John Kerry slam session while all but beatifying the current administration. During the summer, the Sinclair Group wanted to make a statement against all of the bad press coming from Iraq by sending a correspondent to report on "good things". While the insurgency, and American casualties, grew in the region we got happy reports on new Iraqi currency without Saddam's face on it. In May, Sinclair barred their ABC affiliates from broadcasting a special edition of Nightline in which host Ted Koppel read the names of American casualties in Iraq. At the time, the same Mark Hyman told the PBS show Newshour that "...political speech disguised as news content is not the way to serve the public good." In a public statement, Sinclair asks why Koppel would choose "...to read the names of the 523 troops killed in combat in Iraq, rather than the thousands of private citizens killed in terrorist attacks since and including the events of September 11th, 2001" (can't speak to terrorist attacks worldwide, but as to September 11th ABC News has, on at least two occasions, gone through the names of those killed; once in a special the week following the attacks and again during a first anniversary ceremony).

But we can't ponder on the past unless it's over thirty years old, and Sinclair hopes to do just that with this special. I can't comment on the special's content because, frankly, I haven't seen this film. But I can only imagine the content from this quote on the official website (linked above):

"This man committed an act of treason. He lied, he besmirched our name and he did it for self-interest." - George Day

Yeah, a Yale-educated and decorated war veteran had to perjure himself in front of Congress in order to make a name for himself in this country. That's always a great way for a kid to start a career as a LAWYER!!! And it's not like these statements were taken in the 70's where much of the atrocities that occurred in Vietnam were still veiled in secrecy by the Pentagon, but have been recorded within the last year by some of those behind the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth campaign (who, as we've already learned, are not a very credible group). It's tantamount to blaming a corporate whistle-blower for exposing the wrongs done by his organization.

So, in the end what we've got is a media organization run by supporters of the administration airing a film produced by supporters of the president being aired in prime-time in an attempt to be passed off as "journalism". And they honestly think that they're fooling someone. Proof on how media consolidation works for us, the American citizen, and not corporate interests.

For the transcript of Kerry's testimony to the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations from April, 1971, it's available on the National Review's website.

Movie Reviews

Yeah, way to transition. Go from slamming the man to movie reviews. This week I have two great DVDs to review:

Bad Santa - B+

Probably should have waited a couple more months for this film, part Frank Capra and part Kevin Smith (who I'll get to in a second); Bad Santa features Billy Bob Thorton as a mall Santa who uses his position to rob his employers blind on Christmas Eve. Of course, this is a feel-good Christmas flick, and the moral lesson is provided by a small boy who adopts Thorton's Santa (and not the other way around) and instills him with the spirit of the season. For me, this film is saved by the fact that it is the antithesis of the lame, sappy Christmas movie while still getting you to the same place in the end. Definitely recommended... but I'd probably wait until after Thanksgiving to get in the proper mood.

Jersey Girl - A-

What Bad Santa does for the sappy Christmas movie, Jersey Girl does for the lame "over-worked dad who learns to appreciate the joys of parenting" genre. Yes, Jersey Girl was part two of the Bennifer double-feature that included Gigli, but don't cast blame on this film for the sins of the father. First, what hopefully is common knowledge by now, J-Lo's performance is cut short when, at about the fifteen minute mark, she dies abruptly following child birth. Instead, the cute chick role for this movie falls to Arwen herself, Liv Tyler who's cast as a grad student who becomes enamored with Affleck's "hard-working dad who'll do anything for his daughter" schtick (I need to get me one of those). Anyways, for those of you who appreciated Adam Sandler's turn at being less goofy in Punch-Drunk Love, you have to support Kevin Smith's attempt at a great movie with the bare minimum of "dick and fart jokes." Jay & Silent Bob make only a brief appearance before the movie starts to introduce the View Askew Productions logo. For those who have stayed away from Kevin Smith films for fear of seeing a woman suck-off 37 guys or a gypsy with three nipples, I encourage you to try this film out for a view into his warped sense of humor while keeping your Puritan sensibilities. For the Smith fans who skipped this film because you miss Jay & Silent Bob, Affleck's relationship with his father (played by George Carlin) is almost a PG-13 version of his relationship with Jason Lee's character Banky from Chasing Amy which makes it worth seeing right there. And for those of you who call Smith a corporate sell-out for making this crap, well first off he'd agree with you, and second off you're just a lame douchebag who should get a life. (I go from intelligent political conversation to talking about dick and fart jokes and calling people douchebags... I tell you, this blog will have it all!)

Random Thoughts

• Normally, this section has random things that come to my mind in passing, but I don't have anything worth noting right now. I will probably post a Presidential Debate commentary later today or tomorrow after I get a chance to either listen to it or watch the recording I got off of CNN last night. I'm sorry, but when West Virginia's playing UConn from Storrs, you gotta watch!