The L Word
It seems like, in the last month of the campaign, the Bush Team has decided to go back into the old standby attack: Casting John Kerry as a "liberal." OH MY GOD, HE'S A LIBERAL, HIDE THE CHILDREN! It's to the point that if Dale Jr. used the word "liberal" in a post-race interview, NASCAR would fine him $50,000.
So, when did the word "liberal" become such a dirty term in the world of politics? Franklin Roosevelt is revered for his leadership through the Depression and World War II, and he was one of the most liberal presidents in American history. John F. Kennedy led a liberal agenda of civil rights and social responsibility, and people still look back admirably towards his administration. Now, the president paints Kerry as "the most liberal senator in Massachusetts" and he's got to defend himself from that. It's time to take pride in the term. Conservatism is what the public should defile, not being a liberal. What have conservatives done for the general public? Reagan's record deficits leading to Bush's policy of record deficits (and guess who gets to pay that off). An environmental policy of chop it down, pave it over, and build a Wal-Mart on top of it. So, now he's casting Kerry as a "tax-and-spend liberal." I don't know about you, but I prefer that over a "lower taxes-and-not pay for it" conservatives.
And Bush says that liberals are weak leaders. Well, he likes to bring up the sacrifices of the "Coalition of the Willing." One of the few nations that supported the effort by actually supplying troops was Australia. The prime minister of Australia, John Howard, is the leader of the Australian Liberal Party. Canada, is our leading global trading partner, and the upcoming administration is going to have to work closely with their government to improve our strained relationship with them. Their leader, Paul Howard, is leader of the Canadian Liberal Party. Even Tony Blair, the British prime minister, is head of the Labour Party, which considers themselves as a "democratic socialist party." Mr. President, it denigrates alliances and discounts sacrifices these nations have made to cast liberals in such a negative light.
Movie Review
Team America: World Police - B
Probably the only movie of the upcoming late-Fall/Winter season, I've been excited for Team America since I first heard that Trey Parker and Matt Stone were working on a Thunderbirds-style spoof of America's policy of global-policing. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut is definitely in my list of Top 5 Favorite Comedies, and their live-action spoof on professional sports Baseketball would probably been in my personal Top 20.
But this film would probably score, in my opinion, in the Orgazmo level. While the movie does make a lot of great points on the modern political culture, it's not done in a way as funny as the South Park film's look at "modern parenting." Many of the film's jokes are just poking fun at the fact that these are puppets doing these things. While, in the often-cited love scene, it comes out as one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen in the movie, for most of the film it's just kind of blah. Kim Jong-Il, the movie's antagonist, doesn't come off as absurdly comical as Saddam Hussein did in the South Park film.
I guess, in conclusion, the film is a great spoof of the culture of celebrity activism. But, while the South Park film I had to see three times just to get all of the jokes because I'd laugh so hard at one that I'd miss two, this movie didn't have any of those types of moments. Definitely a must-see experience if you're a fan of South Park-style humor, but didn't really live up to the excitement I had going into the film.
Random Thoughts
- I got to see my beloved Magic get hammered by the Miami Heat at the St. Pete Times Forum on Friday night. Rather than go into the boredom that was watching the Magic miss any shot from more than five feet from the hoop, I have to say that this was one of the most awkward experiences of my life. The crowd at the game was a lot larger than I had expected (partially due to the fact that Shaq was in the building -- but didn't play -- and there were a lot of free tickets given out), so my hope of sneaking down to better seats was squashed. This problem was magnified by the fact that the guy sitting next to me had the WORST BREATH EVER! Like my cat not covering his litter box bad! To the point that I wanted to brush my own teeth five times just to make sure that I never subject anyone to that type of stench. I wanted to move away so bad, but there was nowhere else to go to. On top of it, I sat in an aisle seat, and on the other side of the aisle was this group of four really cute women. So, I was trying to think of a way to get in with them, but was afraid that if this guy even sneezed in their direction or something they'd smell it and think that I crapped my pants or something. I mean, WOW!!! How can you let it get that bad, man?! Anyways, something had to be said, but because I'm passive-agressive, this is my only outlet to do so.
- Meanwhile, the Magic are off to an 0-3 start in the preseason. Last year they went 1-8 in the preseason, then went on to win just one game in the first month and a half of the regular season. Just like last year, this team looks like they should be good, but just haven't really shown anything. They can't shoot, when they do shoot they take bad perimeter shots way too quickly, they don't play defense. I don't get it. And with so many new faces on the team, it's not like they can learn from the lessons of last season since so few of them were there to experience it. Looks like another long season for the boys in blue, black, and silver.
- Just watched what had to be one of the strangest reality specials that I have ever seen. On the recommendation of Howard Stern, I watched the VH1 special (Inside)Out: Hulk Hogan, Stage Dad which shows the involvement of the Hulkster in his daughter Brooke's singing career. There's just something perversly captivating by how weird this whole family dynamic is. First, I live in St. Petersburg, Florida and the Hogan's live in nearby Clearwater, so anything negative I may write might grant me an introduction to the Hulk's 24-inch pythons. But you're hooked just minutes into the show when you find out that the Hulk keeps his dead goldfish in a bowl in his freezer!!! Then, the way that he keeps having to mention to any guy who comes in a ten-foot radius of his daughter that she's only 15. Then the creepy guy who tried to hook up with her at an autograph signing appearance. It's probably the best spent hour of my week so far (my week just being eleven hours old, so far). Then, the climatic moment at the end where Hulk and Brooke shed tears when hearing her first single on the radio is offset by the fact that there's this lady sitting with them in the limo who looks like she's had her make-up done by one of the clowns from Cirque du Soleil. If the folks at VH1 have any sense, these guys could be the new Osbournes.
- Time for my first edition of "Woman I Would Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy." I think that I have the mentality to be a great stalker: lack of ability to talk with women I'm attracted to, way too much free time, and an obsessive personality. The only problem is that I have no motivation to even get out of my rocking chair, let alone to go through all of the effort to stalk a woman (and no where near that to overcome my personality quirks to actually ask one out). So, I give you my first "Woman I Would Stalk If I Weren't So Lazy." Today's is Tomoko Kojima, a member of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders. Look at her... She's so cute! And we've got so much in common. She has a Japanese rabbit, I have no idea what the difference between a Japanese and American rabbit are (but I'm willing to learn). She likes working with kids, I can tolerate being around kids for short amounts of time. We both like the film Lost In Translation... I mean this is the foundation for a great relationship. As the world's laziest stalker, I'm not coming to you so you can feel free to come to me.
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