I Fought the Jock and the Jock Won
I want to make a little comment on the fight at the Palace, even though I realize that it's about two weeks old and people are really sick of hearing about it. Here's my only take... Lets just face it - people are jerks! I sadly, have been just as bad in abusing athletes (though not to the point of throwing stuff at them; if I'm paying $7 for a beer I'm sure as hell drinking it). I remember going to a hockey preseason game last year between the Lightning and Blue Jackets where I spent the first period screaming "baby killer" at Espen Knutsen. Knutsen, if you don't remember, was the hockey player who had one of his slapshots deflected into the stands killing a 10 year-old girl. And frankly, I didn't have anything to drink, I was just being an ass.
We all know that Ron Artest isn't 100% there (probably in the mid-40% range), but it's not like he was just running into the crowd for no reason. He had been provoked, and while the actions of Stephen Jackson are more inexcusable, these players form a strong bond and if I see one of my brothers fighting for his life, I sure as hell would go in there and defend them.
So, can anything be done? Well, while the other three professional leagues pretend to take the high ground, each has a blemish when it comes to fan/player altercations. True, the NFL has about eight foot walls that seperate the fans from the action. But does that keep fans off the field in college football from tearing down the goal posts? How about in Cleveland and New York where fans threw objects (from snowballs to bottles) onto the field? And we've seen Packers players make the "Lambeau Leap" into the stands in Green Bay, so what makes you think they wouldn't make a more insidious leap should they be pelted with a foreign object. Or how about baseball? While they have security throughout the stands of a stadium including along the field lines, that didn't stop Milton Bradley from throwing a bullpen chair into the crowd at Dodgers Stadium or the Dumb & Dumber father-son duo in Chicago from lynching that Royals coach. And who can forget the dumb fan who tried to jump Toronto Maple Leaf Tie Domi while he was in the penalty box in Philadelphia. So, what can be done? Well, apparently high walls, tall plexiglass, and security along the basepaths haven't worked 100% of the time. But, luckily, these are still the exception to the rule. We still don't have to have police in riot gear patrolling the stands as they do in European soccer matches, and I don't see it ever really coming to that in the States. So, prosecute the players as if they were in any bar brawl. Make sure that those responsible in the stands are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (yeah, banning them from the property... not really going to do any good), and lets move on.
And I said it was a "quick thought." Pssh, you should know better from me.
Ride Review
Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, I had the opportunity to put some mileage on my annual pass for the theme parks at Universal Orlando, taking in the three new attractions at my former stomping ground Universal Studios Florida. One day, I'll set up a specific website for ride reviews at the major theme parks in Orlando with some insider info from someone who worked in the parks for five years.
The Revenge of the Mummy
**** (out of five stars)
News of the Kongfrontation attraction closing had been spreading for years around Universal Studios Florida. But, I think it was the opening of the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster at the Disney-MGM Studios which got the creative forces at Universal in gear. What they came up with is a great ride concept, even though it could have definitely come out as a better ride.
Universal refers to ROTM as a "psychological thrill ride." Really, since no old-school ride category fits the ROTM mold, I'll consider it a coaster-lite. It's part standard "look & point" ride where you run through several show scenes as a story plays out before you, part "roller coaster." But, if you're looking for a true coaster, you're going to find ROTM lacking. And if you're looking for a standard ride to relax and enjoy, ROTM might be too intense for you.
You'll enter through the Paramount Building to the left of the old Penn Station entrance where you entered Kongfrontation (it was formerly the JVC "Be A Star Experience", and later the Islands of Adventure Preview Center). The queue video is really funny, and it's recommended that you follow it as it'll help you understand some of the jokes for when you're actually on-board. You come to find out that you're on location with the cast and crew of the new Mummy sequel (not the old Boris Karloff in bandages movies of the '30s, but the Brendan Frasier movies of the late-'90s). Then, you'll enter the main building where you're immersed in an Egyptian archaelogical dig. Be careful, as the room is really dark and there are stairs (yes, I am clumsier than the average person and fell and hurt my ankle, but I did see some others trip over them as well).
Spoiler Alert (Don't read the next italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised)
Of course, you'll board your car out of the dig when the curse of the mummy's chamber is revealed and Imhotep begins taking souls to rebuild himself into the most powerful being on Earth. The early portions of the ride are, as I said before, the standard "look and point" as you travel through the Mummy's treasure chamber where you're "attacked" by the priest's guards (one of the lamest animatronic gimmicks in a modern ride, think of a spook house at a below average county fair). You narrowly escape their menace when you meet a dead-end, then from the walls, the flesh-eating scarabs from the films begin creeping in search of fresh meat. It's at this point where the ride starts to get good as you escape the beetles by plunging backwards onto a turntable as you prepare for the coaster portion. The coaster portion is fairly tame in comparison to Island of Adventure's Hulk and Dueling Dragons, but the excitement of having it in the dark enhances the experience. If you've been on MGM's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, the experience is similar except ROTM doesn't have (at least I don't remember it having) any inversions. A quick psych-out (making you think the ride's over when it's not) was a really cool touch.
The main problem that I have with ROTM is that the effects are on the cheesy side, and the ride is VERY short. The Roller Coaster Database clocks it at four minutes, but the majority of that time is the slow-moving "look & point" elements and not the coaster portion. The ride definitely has promise, and if Universal is smart they'll do a quick refurb to fix some of the elements and they'd definitely have a top draw ride for the Studios which definitely needs one.
Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast
**** (out of five stars)
With the diminishing appeal of the classic Hanna-Barbera characters among today's younger generations, Universal executives decided to dump the likes of Yogi Bear, Scooby-Doo, and The Jetsons for fresher cartoon stars when refurbishing the old Funtastic World of Hanna-Barbera attraction. Now, we have Jimmy Neutron's Nicktoon Blast featuring the animated stars of some of Nickelodeon's hit shows.
For those who loved the old Hanna ride, the Nicktoon Blast is pretty much the same thing. Instead of saving Elroy Jetson from the hands of Dick Dastardly, you're helping Jimmy Neutron "Boy Genius" (I tried to give myself the same nickname to limited success) protect the world, and more specifically the Nicktoon backlot, from alien invaders. The old rocket cars from Hanna are still there as well as the interactive area following the ride. Really, all they did was change the faces on-screen.
I LOVED the old Hanna ride, and while I was disappointed that the characters I remember from my childhood are gone, this ride still is a lot of fun and retains its place in my heart as one of my favorite attractions in the park.
Shrek 4-D
***** (out of five stars)
As you'll see when I do publish my full website of ride reviews, I don't give out five stars regularly. An attraction has to have great theming, a great concept, and follow through on that concept at a high level. No other attraction at Universal Studios Florida scores a five, and the only other attraction at the resort that scores a perfect mark is IOA's Spider-Man. But for an attraction that works on so many levels, entertaining kids, teens, and adults, a perfect score is more than deserved.
Shrek 4-D replaces the former Alfred Hitchcock exhibit, which is probably a disappointment to only the master's most hardcore fans. As you wind through the exterior queue you're reminded of how the original Shrek film ended with the mean green ogre falling in love with the beautiful princess Fiona and stopping her wedding to the incredibly evil (and incredibly short) Lord Farquaad. In true storybook fashion, the heroes live happily ever after as the wicked are vanquished. Or... so we think!
Once again... SPOILER ALERT! Don't read the italicized paragraphs if you want to be surprised
When you reach the doors and are greeted with a hardy "Head inside, prisoner!" you know that not everything is serene in the land of Duloc. Apparently, while the physical being of Lord Farquaad was destroyed by the friendly dragon at the end of the first film, his spirit has returned to destroy Shrek and once-again take the hand of the princess. You're lead into a torture chamber where Farquaad has rounded up some of Shrek's storybook friends to find the location of the lovable ogre and his new wife. This is just the PRE-SHOW and you're already laughing in hysterics! Once he realizes that nobody's going to spill the beans, he's got no choice but to ELIMINATE YOU! Of course, the execution chamber is the main theater where the film plays out. The elements in the movie are similar to that of Muppetvision 4-D at Disney-MGM Studios, Honey, I Shrunk the Audience at EPCOT Center, and it's big sister Terminator 3-D where on-screen action meshes with elements within the theater and in your seats. I'll keep most of the film's elements to myself, but needless to say, if just the pre-show was hysterical, you can imagine how the movie is.
Just a note to parents of young children... Since you're dealing with the "ghost" of Lord Farquaad, some of the movie's scenes take place in areas that may be scary to small children. In addition, you have the option of forgoing the movies in-seat elements by using the stationary seats at the front of the theater (that's right, "stationary"... that's a hint as to what you'll experience).
The sense of humor of this ride definitely makes it one of the top attractions in Orlando, and definitely gets away with stuff that just wouldn't fly down at the House of Mouse. This attraction is highly recommended for anyone who just wants to sit-back, relax, and have a great time.
Random Thoughts
Well, this is where I'd put them, but I've already spent so much time on this that we'll just make them real quick...
- Boy, at halftime of that USC/Notre Dame game, I really thought my Irish upset was going to happen. But, these last two season really shouldn't have cost Ty his job and I'm sure he's going to have success with another program in the near future.
- Hooters Restaurants yesterday lost a case in an Orlando court with restaurant chain Ker's WingHouse, who they accused of trademark infringement. While the restaurant's have similar theming, what finally brough Hooters to the courtroom against the WingHouse is that the chain's new stores in the Orlando and Daytona Beach areas are a huge success. Now, not only did they quest for a monopoly in the "breastaurant" industry backfire, it totally blew up in there face as they now owe the WingHouse $1.2 million in legal fees awarded by the jury.
- Give it up for my Orlando Magic, who are having a great start. After last year where we were waiting... And waiting... And waiting for the team to mesh together, this team just plays so well as a unit! They play for win #10 tonight in New York against the Knicks. They didn't reach that point last season until January 16th!
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